mystic dolphin's Journal

Thanks sending huge hugs back!!

whybother I'm not sure how long I'll be away for. I can stay up to 7 nights but not sure how long I'll stay for. I'm at therapy soon.

Take care

Hugs

mystic

Glad to be back on the forum but can't wait to go back into the flat again on the 24th. I've come out to lots of family issues and financial problems but am doing okayish. My mum has decided she doesn't want anything to do with me because she can't deal with my illness and other issues. I feel really betrayed, hurt and let down. To be honest though I'm also glad it might mean a longer break from her.

I'm having a lot of difficult issues with my daughter who is becoming physically violent towards me. My support worker says she's financially abusing me too and if she was an adult she would be contacting the safeguarding adults service but because she's a minor she doesn't know what to do about it. I don't blame my daughter she's a kid with a huge lot on her plate atm. I'm just finding it hard to deal with. Looking forward to another break and only been out a few hours!

mystic

Mystic,

Welcome back!

You sound a lot more positive.

Believe it or not your mother will come back to you, eventually. Hope you don't render control of things to her again!

Looking forward to another break and only been out a few hours!

I had the impression that seeing doctors was one of your fears .......... Perhaps I am mistaken ...... And you can't wait for another break ! Stop it I'll get a complex lol

A line from my favourite album says "if you give them a short sharp shock/ they never do it again ..... Perhaps your daughter needs a short sharp shock ! in the form of a visit from the safeguarding adults service. If your support worker won't do it, why don't you ?

Hope you got some money saved, and have gone out yourself some cloths, and pj's with it !

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whybother wrote:Mystic,

Welcome back!

You sound a lot more positive.

Thanks! I'm doing okay. A lot going around in my head but feeling much safer than I have been.

whybother wrote:Believe it or not your mother will come back to you, eventually. Hope you don't render control of things to her again!

It didn't last long she phoned me last night asking why I hadnt been in contact with her!! She wanted to know what she had done wrong! (I didn't have all night) I've got a lot of conflicting thoughts whirring around my head at the moment. I read on a site about narcissistic mothers and everything I read made so much sense but I can't put what's happening into words. Sometimes I feel like I'm losing my mind trying to make sense of it all. Both of my parents are so so needy I haven't got the energy to take care of their needs any more.

whybother wrote:I had the impression that seeing doctors was one of your fears .......... Perhaps I am mistaken ...... And you can't wait for another break ! Stop it I'll get a complex lol

I do have a big fear of doctors. I did agree to have my bloods done at the hospital eventually though!! I have been in crisis accommodation this week! (NO doctors!!) I had my own flat with a bed, cooker, fridge, t.v. I could cook for myself and come and go as I pleased. There were people to offer support when things got tough. There was reflexology and other therapies but I didn't join in with them. I'm back next week.

whybother wrote:A line from my favourite album says "if you give them a short sharp shock/ they never do it again ..... Perhaps your daughter needs a short sharp shock ! in the form of a visit from the safeguarding adults service. If your support worker won't do it, why don't you ?

I can understand why she's like she is although I know it's not an excuse. She's had so much to deal with and is still trying to deal with things she shouldn't be dealing with. She has to let it out on someone and it's me who gets it. I know it's getting out of hand though and we both need support to deal with it.

whybother wrote:Hope you got some money saved, and have gone out yourself some cloths, and pj's with it !

No still skint unfortunately. Not a penny until next Friday!! We'll manage though we've got some food in the house.

mystic

CrackedGirl wrote:Huge hugs mystic

It sounds like the break has done you good tho I am sorry you have come back to such a lot. Your Mum sounds like she is showing her true colours and I am sorry you are having to see that. I hope you support worker can help you figure out how to manage your daughter. Huge hugs and keep talking

Cracked

I feel stronger to deal with things after my break. I've got a lot of people supporting me with finances, the house, my daughter, my mental health so it's taking the pressure off me. Just could do with someone to sort my parents out!!

Hugs

mystic

Feeling sad tonight. Been to support group two days on the run and realised how hard it is to talk to people. I really want to but the words wont come out of my mouth. I only can talk to the girl who has cerebral palsy who doesnt talk much but she talks more than me. She's 20 years younger than me and doesnt mind if I dont talk. But then I find it hard sitting there with nothing to say cos I cant think of anything to say. Then when people talk to me I dont know what I'm supposed to say back. I dont understand what any of them are talking about. It makes me sad and frustrated. I dont really feel like going anymore because the more I go the less I have to say. I dont want to have no friends all my life but its just too hard!

mystic

Feeling sad tonight. Been to support group two days on the run and realised how hard it is to talk to people. I really want to but the words wont come out of my mouth. I only can talk to the girl who has cerebral palsy who doesnt talk much but she talks more than me. She's 20 years younger than me and doesnt mind if I dont talk. But then I find it hard sitting there with nothing to say cos I cant think of anything to say. Then when people talk to me I dont know what I'm supposed to say back. I dont understand what any of them are talking about. It makes me sad and frustrated. I dont really feel like going anymore because the more I go the less I have to say. I dont want to have no friends all my life but its just too hard!

mystic