Rick's Journal (Replies Welcome)

Entry #40 (Motivation)

Another con for motivation is the reliance of people on it. When these people are asked why they aren't pursuing their dreams or do something they know is good for them, they respond by saying they don't feel like it or feel inspired enough to do it. Things, unfortunately, don't go that way since we generally have as many lows and the highs in our lives. I was definitely like that when I was depressed as I never felt like do anything other than stay in my room and do nothing. No bit of motivation could've changed that.

As someone who watches motivational videos quite often, I can say from my experience that these videos are very powerful. Yet, one issue I've noticed is how they only work temporarily. In other words, the inspiration and motivation might last an hour or so before they dissipate. In other words, the words felt more like a brief inject of "drug" to make me feel great. Motivation appear to be a temporary measure but it shouldn't be the dominant force for why you are doing something.

We must always figure out why we are doing a certain action or pursuing a certain dream. If people are doing certain actions due to motivation they got from a certain talk or video, they will likely give up the moment the motivation wears off. Motivation is there to spark something inside us and/or make the fire brighter if it's already lit. Yet, we cannot expect it to maintain the fire for the entire duration of a dream that takes years, if not decades, to come true.

As for this why, we need focus on more than ourselves. For instance, we might want to accomplish a certain goal to make our life easier. When the journey to reach this goal becomes tough, we might not see this as worth it so we give it up. When we are doing this to help other people, there's some strange strength that we acquire. There might be something you can relate to those people so something is triggered within you to keep going. When more than ourselves are at stake, we are more likely to persevere.

Don't be too reliant on motivation. We cannot always feel like it so we must push ourselves and discipline ourselves to do a certain task regardless how we feel. Life is filled with ups and downs so those who succeed are those who kept chasing their dreams during their downs as well. In the end, what truly motivates us isn't what other people can say. It's really what we feel about a certain dream and the why we justify for our dream in the first place.

That's it for the fortieth entry.

Entry #41 (Motivation)

I'll be focusing solely on motivational videos this entry. I myself watch a fair bit of motivational videos and will be discussing the cons on what I've watched. What makes videos so powerful is that we have pictures and clips that go along with the audio. With the right combination, these videos can essentially change lives which is naturally the goal of these videos.

There are videos where we have multiple speakers and the clips shows the respective speakers their accomplishments. For an athlete, this might be a moment when the person competes in the Olympics and broke a world record. Essentially, we are seeing the highlight reel of a person as they reached the peak of their career and their dreams becoming a reality.

My main issue is that this seems very motivating. We feel pumped watching these highlight reel and find some fire burning inside us. Yet, these videos can accomplish the opposite. Let's use the scenario of person wanting to be a professional athlete. He or she got pumped from watching the video and headed into practice the next day. There's a possibility that, after a poor performance at practice, this person feels discouraged and wondered if he or she could achieve the next level.

I personally feel these videos would be a lot more powerful without showing the success of the people. We have enough exposure with news outlets and magazine. Instead, the videos should focus on the training regime. What most people must understand is that much of the work is done outside of the competition. These professionals work harder than other people and, even when they reached their peak, they disciplined themselves to continue working hard.

People nowadays don't need to see what success is. Instead, they need to see what is needed to get to that success. Maybe a clip of an athlete's daily training regime could be enough to tell our youths what they have to do to find success. People got to see what happens behind the scene because they would otherwise get the impression that success can be reached easily as showcased by the video. They get distracted by what was shown and don't necessary hear what was being said.

As a content creator, I know it's not easy to make those videos. I commend those people who make motivational videos but that doesn't meant they all accomplish the goal they aim for. We must get through to people how perseverance and hard work are needed for success. With videos being such powerful tools, we can do exactly that if we don't create illusions that fool people, especially many of our young people who have yet to experience things in real life.

That's it for the forty first entry.

Entry #42 (Change)

Change will always happen in our lives regardless if we want it or not. We might move to a new country or a new technology has been introduced changing the ways of how we live. Maybe a new member enter the family like a new baby or an adopted child. With change, we must learn to adapt to it to continue thriving in our environment and minimize the negative impact of change.

With school not going well along with other things in my life not optimal, I'm also in the process of adapting to change. These changes were largely things I didn't want happening to me at the time and, as a result, I get really stressed out and anxious. The biggest thing I'm working on is my mindset which I learned is so vital in these sort of situations.

A lot of people can working on their mindset like me. It's something that seems insignificant but it can be such a large impact on our lives without changing anything else. Essentially, we need to adjust our mindset to accept the changes and be open-minded. Since change is unavoidable, we must make the best of it and, from what appears as chaos, find what we need to get further ahead in life. In the process, we also learn a bit about ourselves to better know our strengths.

Many people are, unfortunately, afraid of change. It's an interesting perspective where people like me with unfavorable situations want change while those with acceptable lives reject change. What we must remember is that change helps us grow, mature and find opportunities that had never existed before. When people fight change, they will find themselves struggling. For instance, those who couldn't embrace internet when it was picking up soon found themselves replaced in the job market by those who took advantage of the change.

The world is constantly changing without us doing anything. We can stay in our room and just do our hobbies but the changes will still come. Change isn't a bad thing and is more of something that's natural in this world of ours. It's normal to fear it but rejecting it outright without giving it a chance usually ends poorly.

That's it for the forty second entry.

Rickamateur wrote:Entry #42 (Change)

Interesting journal, Rick. The way I see it, change is voluntary or involuntary. I don't think to avoid change or even fight against change is necessarily bad. Since change is a process, how that process plays out and the results are what is important.

It is sad however when one cannot seem to help themselves by risking change - when change is needed.

Otter wrote:

Rickamateur wrote:Entry #42 (Change)

Interesting journal, Rick. The way I see it, change is voluntary or involuntary. I don't think to avoid change or even fight against change is necessarily bad. Since change is a process, how that process plays out and the results are what is important.

It is sad however when one cannot seem to help themselves by risking change - when change is needed.

With change, I feel that it's largely our responses to it. The key question is why we are responding to a change a certain way. I agree that avoiding change or fighting against it isn't always bad but people need better reason than simply being fearful. I know I need to flesh out some of my thinking but it does take practice. Thanks for commenting!

Entry #43 (Change)

There are lots of changes we have no control over. Let's use the scenario of a morning where we wake up, eat breakfast and drive to work. For a specific day, there was a car accident on the route you normally take and traffic gets congested as a result. Then, you are pretty much guaranteed to be late for work and here is where mindset can play a role.

If you choose a negative mindset, you'll likely curse and be very frustrated with the development. Of course, this negative attitude doesn't end there. You'll be asked by your boss why you are late. When we are negative, we aren't in the best mood and that shows when we talk. The boss wasn't too happy about us being late already so our negative attitude likely makes it worse.

The boss, with a negative mood as a result, decides to make our life more difficult by being more picky on our mistakes. The day at work would be ruined but it wouldn't end there. We'd return home only to spread the negativity to our family which can cause fights and arguments. Overall, a day that started poorly just kept going downhill until it's just plainly a horrible day.

Conversely, we can be positive about the situation by accepting we will be late and think of ways to make up for it. We sincerely apologize to our boss and work harder/smarter to make up for the time. This would make a good impression on our boss who wouldn't be as hard on us the next time we're late. Given how things tend to happen often, there's a good chance we'll be late again in another situation we cannot control over.

Day at work went well and we returned home where, being in a more positive mood, we can communicate with family members properly without sparking conflicts. We would also be more likely to listen about their day when we aren't negative and this could help improve their day. With a positive attitude, the poor start was the only low point of the day and the rest of the day would be more than merely salvaged.

In our lives, we will encounter changes everyday and some might be in unimaginable ways. Yet, we can dictate how we decide on it. With a positive mindset, we can turn any day to a good day despite what sort of start we had. If we can maintain good days throughout the year, then we'd have a good year. Keep this up for a few decade and we'd have a much better life than many other people.

That's it for the forty third entry.

Entry #44 (Change)

I wish to talk about people fearing and resisting change in this entry. The main factor is the uncertainty involved when change happens. People like to have control of what's going to happen, how it's going to happen and, in an unfavorable situation, be in complete control during the damage control. This is difficult when a lot of changes happen when we least expect it.

Change brings a lot of unknown variables into a situation. Most people had situations where they made a plan and it went perfectly. This is always a great feeling where we felt we are in control and things go exactly the way we want it to. Change, however, makes our plans irrelevant. I was planning on finishing school to get a good job but change saw me failing courses and failing to get any internships.

When we thought we had life figured out, change arrives when we least expects it and sends us back to the drawing board. This bit of uncertainty is why people fear it. It's a bit like us playing a horror game where we enter a new area. Due to the atmosphere, we are worried and fearful despite not seeing any immediate threat in front of us. Our imagination create these horrors that may or may not be in the game.

What happens to us in real life is our minds generate things regarding uncertainty. We cannot see that far ahead and mindset plays a big role here as well. If we are negative, we think up all the worst case scenarios regarding a certain change. There are positive scenarios but our mindsets lets us only see the negative scenarios. Therefore, we do everything in our power to fight and resist change to avoid these worst case scenarios.

People scare themselves and some of these thoughts might be external. They might have heard stories from other people which gave them ideas. We must remember that we won't have control over everything so it's critical we don't create the negative scenarios before even attempting something. In this case, we are essentially delivering a mortal blow to our morale before the fight is even fought.

Don't conjure up anything when you think about the future. Everyone have their own lives and what happens to others won't necessarily happen to you. Simply make the best of your situation and be positive that everything will work out eventually. Then, you will get an average situation in the worst case scenario while you thrive in the best case scenario.

That's it for the forty fourth entry.

Entry #45 (Change)

Change forces us out of our comfort zone. That, alone, make it terrifying and undesirable for people. Comfort zones are the limits we place on ourselves. These limits are there before we even know what we are capable of. Change lets us step outside to see what we are truly capable of. Sure, we eventually find our real limits but we'll discover that these new limits far exceed what we placed on ourselves originally.

I was an introvert who was afraid of talking to strangers. The thought of it was terrifying for me. Yet, a month of door to door sales allowed me to discover the courageous side of me. The limits I put on myself no longer apply since I accomplished what seemed impossible for me. What ends up happening is we get comfortable with something new and, as a result, our comfort zone expands.

For too many people, they aim too low and fail to learn their true limits. They might reach the limits they put on themselves but such a scenario fail to tap into their inner potential. Later in life, these people wondered if they could've accomplish much more. Change makes this irrelevant by forcing you to get out of those limits regardless if you feel ready or not. You have to deal with it and, when you find success, you build confidence knowing you can achieve much more.

Change doesn't let you aim low so you are aiming further and higher. Even if we reach for the stars but never reach them, we'd reach unimaginable heights as a result. The odd thing is that, when we were younger, we don't believe in limits. This could be seen by the things we've done and learned as a kid. I like to use riding a bike as an example here.

When we were young, we try to learn to ride the bike the first time. Sure, we might fall the first few times and cry a little but we always get back up and try again until we succeed. As we grow older, we fear pain and do anything to avoid it. This often sees us unwilling to accept change or try new things. If we had this mentality when we were younger, then we'd quit the first time we fell and would never learn how to ride the bike.

For most adults, biking is something so simple. We went from not knowing how to becoming very comfortable with biking. Our comfort zone expanded to include this so we never even think twice before biking. This is true with other things in life. When we step out of the comfort zone, we aren't staying out of it forever. We are merely practice and learning until we include something new in the comfort zone. This would be the case for the Olympic athletes as well.

They had to push their limits to get to where they're at. Sure, they look so natural in competition but that wasn't always the case. They had injuries and doubt along the way but, with sufficient practice, they turn it into something natural. We can do that for everything when we try something new. It's not easy initially and requires hard work. We might even get hurt in the process but, as long as we try it and keep going, we'll be able to do it with comfort due to the confidence in our abilities.

For many people, change is so vital as they cannot get out of their comfort zone alone. What we are trying to accomplish to to expand the comfort zone to include things we, at one point, thought were difficult. As we keep learning and growing, we develop the skills to do harder tasks with relative ease. Our goal in life is really making incredible feats no different from riding a bike. We do it without hesitation and we never question our abilities.

That's it for the forty fifth entry.

Entry #46 (Anger)

Anger is one of the more powerful emotions we possess and it can be quite destructive. Many people, like me, had moments when we are frustrated and our limits are pushed. We might be doing some task and it isn't going our way so we decide to turn to anger. The thing about anger is that, when it takes over, it takes over us completely.

We are no longer rational when we are angry. We might yell, throw tantrum or even use violence to express our anger. When we are angry, we are most certainly negative. We don't search for a solution or find a positive side to a situation. We generally want to take the situation into our own hands and, if yelling doesn't work, we resort to our fists.

The worst thing about anger is that it usually doesn't dissipate very quickly. It's a dangerous beast where it generally escalates the situation. Your anger can spark anger in other people and those situations get out of hand very quickly. With enough escalation, violence will happen and people will get hurt at the very least.

Another issue with anger is that it's one of the ways we vent out our frustrations. For some people, the venting is such a relief that they might resort to anger to rid the negativity not knowing that they are actually fueling it. Anger doesn't solve the root of the problem and often makes matters worse. For example, there might be talk of divorce between a couple. There could be a chance to resolve the issue but one anger moment transitioning into violence could end all hope.

Anger is a powerful emotion so we don't want it to take over us. We have no control as we become someone completely different. Then, we do things we regret later and, at times, we do things that cannot be salvaged. In life, we generally want to keep our anger under check. There are very few situations where anger is suitable so we must use it with caution.

That's it for the forty sixth entry.

Entry #47 (Past)

The past is history. It has happened and we cannot change it. Therefore, we shouldn't be dwelling or focusing on the past. Why spend so much time on something we cannot change regardless how hard we work at it? The past can be a complicated matter and, for many people, it can be difficult escaping from it.

With the past, we are usually dealing with the regrets and the what ifs. We have regrets due to doing or not doing something. We like to think about what we could've done to change all of that. We post those what ifs wondering if things could've been different with the situation of us picking a different decision at the time. In the end, all of this does nothing but bring us more pain.

Yes, we might have good memory from back then. When I was at the lowest point of my life, I thought about my childhood. I thought about the carefree lifestyle where, outside of school and whatever activities my parents planned for me, I can just have fun. I didn't have any responsibilities and can just focus on having fun the best I can. Those days seems wonderful compared to now.

Yet, I'm not longer a kid anymore. I'm an adult with responsibilities and priorities in life. Comparing the past with the present, I feel pain. I realize I had wasted so much time that I could've used to make my life better. I could've gained new skills to make myself a better resume. Dwelling on the past only emphasizes the terrible present we have now which, as a result, makes us more miserable.

The past is important but we mustn't dwell on it. When we are busy dwelling on it, we cannot focus on the present. We cannot walk forward if we are looking back. Sure, we can learn to walk backwards but, by the time we mastered this ability, we would've lost more time in the process that we won't be getting back.

We can look at our past from time to time but it should never occupy our focus. Life won't wait up for us while we dwell in our history. We must resist the urge and keep pushing forward. The past may call on us but we should cover our ears and walk towards the future. We cannot ever be happy if we cannot move on from our past.

That's it for the forty seventh entry.

Entry #48 (Past)

We still need to look at our past from time to time despite the necessity of not dwelling on it. The past holds many lessons because, in our lives, everything happen for a reason and part of our job is to figure out why it happened to us and not others. We might have regrets like not finishing school, giving up on a dream or not asking a girl out at school.

What we must do is inspect our past to see what happened and why it happened. However, we must make sure not let regrets cause fear in us. If something happened, we shouldn't let it haunt us for the rest of our lives. For example, a bad experience with a girl shouldn't stop us from giving other girls a chance. The lessons we're learning aren't how to run away from things that hurt us.

We need to learn from our mistakes and really figure out why something happened. As much as we want to do it, we mustn't blame others. All of our mistakes are caused by ourselves due to poor judgement or simply lack of experience. We must understand that we will make mistakes in life and shouldn't be ashamed of it. The moment we let these mistakes create fear within ourselves, we'd lose our way forward.

There will be times where revisiting the past is tough. It's never easy going through some of the memories we'd rather leave behind. Don't dwell on it but know that these memories usually have the most to teach us. I had troubles revisiting my suicidal attempt but, by going through it and analyzing it properly, I realized that I was lonely and the silence was what drove me to that decision. This realization is partly why I started doing these journals.

For some of us, we must also defeat the demons from the past. We need to overcome a certain fear or conclude something for good. We need to move on so we can focus on the present and future. When we don't tie up the loose ends, these things can haunt us later in life. Given that we are mortals, we have limited time and it's better invested in the present and future than the future.

Never dwell on the past. Learn the lessons they offer you and move on. Each of these lessons you learn and master will get you further in life. The experience can be painful but, the more pain they cause you, the greater the lesson they can teach you. Don't shy from the pain that's temporary. If you are trapped in the past, then the pain will be permanent until you overcome it.

That's it for the forty eighth entry.