I haven't been on for a while but I've been looking into what OCD I actually have as it's never quite 'fit' in to one category, so to speak. Maybe it's more than one...but definitely it is mostly false memory OCD.
This is because I mainly focus on past mistakes and try and figure out if it happened or not.
The thing I cannot get over is that what's the difference between knowing you did something and feeling guilt, and thinking about something and having a strong feeling it did happen and trying to prove it?
I'm not making sense....but my latest problem is that I am convinced I masturbated in a house with children (separate room) and that I was thinking of them while doing so. Not an involuntary thought....but willingly thinking about them.
I feel disgusted. I try to look at it in a worst case scenario way...ok I did it. What does this mean?
To me it means I am a disgusting pedo who doesn't deserve to have anything.
This one has been doing the rounds in my head for months. Day in, day out. It's my birthday tomorrow and I just want to sleep forever.
I am disgusting.