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POCD Help?

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POCD Help?

Postby Burgundy » Sun Feb 26, 2012 12:33 am

I only just heard about POCD through this forum. I feel so scared about the pictures I've seen, mostly through the internet, and I am so worried about being caught: I have my entire life ahead of me, and I can't screw it up now. I hate the part of myself that wants this, and it makes me sick thinking of what turns me on.
Is there any way I can be helped? What exactly is the defenition of POCD? Am I a paedophile? I would NEVER think of acting on my desires, and I hate the connotations behind them.
Please help me!

EDIT: I have researched POCD, and, as messed-up as this sounds, I dislike the lable: it suggests that somehow it's giving an excuse for it; "Oh, he can't help that he likes children, he has POCD." This is totally wrong.
Last edited by salted lipstick on Sun Feb 26, 2012 12:39 am, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: edited information regarding website so as not to spread the viewing of this type of material with others
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Re: POCD Help?

Postby TheBadSpoon » Tue Feb 28, 2012 3:57 am

Those with POCD do not particularly "like" children - rather, they are horrified of them and tend to be very avoidant of them or at least very uneasy in their presence.

Pedophiles do not possess this fear. Lacking empathy for their potential victims, they are completely comfortable around them and have no qualms about hurting them. If they're around kids, it's for the sole purpose of satisfying predatory urges. Hell, a true pedophile does not even recognize molestation as harmful. They are in absolute denial and will endlessly rationalize for their atrocities.

"It was educational, he/she enjoyed it!"

As for the viewing of illicit material, if you have, it does not necessarily indicate pedophilia... just bad judgment. I'm sure many would vehemently disagree. In any case, it's still illegal and records of your activity are out there somewhere. For your sake, I hope you're not convicted.
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Re: POCD Help?

Postby TheBadSpoon » Thu Mar 01, 2012 2:54 am

I should note that there are cases of pedophilia where the pedophile wishes to avoid acting upon their urges, but from what I understand, they are rare.
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Re: POCD Help?

Postby IM95 » Thu Mar 01, 2012 4:08 am

TheBadSpoon wrote:Those with POCD do not particularly "like" children - rather, they are horrified of them and tend to be very avoidant of them or at least very uneasy in their presence.

Pedophiles do not possess this fear. Lacking empathy for their potential victims, they are completely comfortable around them and have no qualms about hurting them. If they're around kids, it's for the sole purpose of satisfying predatory urges. Hell, a true pedophile does not even recognize molestation as harmful. They are in absolute denial and will endlessly rationalize for their atrocities.

"It was educational, he/she enjoyed it!"

As for the viewing of illicit material, if you have, it does not necessarily indicate pedophilia... just bad judgment. I'm sure many would vehemently disagree. In any case, it's still illegal and records of your activity are out there somewhere. For your sake, I hope you're not convicted.

Are you sure about this? How do you know "All" pedophiles think this? I heard a lot of stories where some never acted on any of their urges ever and don't want to have the attraction and they feel bad about it and they are never around children and they never hurt children. Of course I did say some. I have OCD too but in all honesty, I do think I have pedophilia too because I just know in my heart that I have an attraction towards children. I never wanted this attraction and I feel horrible about it. I actually stay far, far away from children and try not to be associated with them at all. I'm actually scared and frightened. That may be my OCD taking over me but I truly do feel horrible. In all honesty there's no way I could consider myself not a pedophile because the attraction is strong and obvious enough. I don't think you should say all of them think like that honestly. :cry:
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Re: POCD Help?

Postby TheBadSpoon » Fri Mar 02, 2012 11:09 pm

TheBadSpoon wrote:I should note that there are cases of pedophilia where the pedophile wishes to avoid acting upon their urges, but from what I understand, they are rare.


Many believe pedophilia is the mere attraction to children and that's the end of it. I don't think that mere attraction is enough to warrant a diagnosis of pedophilia. I think it's almost a necessity for the pedophile to have a strong desire to act upon his or her impulses, as well as see no moral reason not to do so (no empathy for children). From what I've read, true pedophiles just don't give a damn. Neither viewing illegal imagery nor molesting children will cause them to bat an eyelid.

These articles can explain things much better than I can:
http://robertlindsay.wordpress.com/2010 ... diagnosis/
http://samvak.tripod.com/pedophilia.html

The argument could be made that since you have viewed illicit materials, you have been acting on pedophiliac urges time and time again... yet you feel guilt.

For a moment, let's substitute gay pornography for the illicit materials and pretend that you feel troubled about that instead.

"I've been looking at gay pornography and I find myself aroused by it. Could I be gay? No, I know I'm not gay... but am I sure?"

If what you have is POCD, you will be constantly "testing the waters" to see who you really are. It is a relentless, torturous, and exhausting inner process. At any given moment, you won't know what to believe about yourself.
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Re: POCD Help?

Postby Twinkling Butterfly » Tue Mar 06, 2012 4:52 am

I think people tend to use the words "pedophile" and "child molester" interchangably, which is misleading, because a person can feel a desire to have sex with children but choose not to because he doesn't want to hurt them. Saying that all pedophiles are child molesters is like saying that all alcoholics are drunks. Someone afflicted with alcoholism can choose to avoid drinking because he fears, quite reasonably, that if he starts he won't be able to stop.
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Re: POCD Help?

Postby reachingout » Sun Jan 12, 2014 6:33 am

In reply to ur last comment there are different levels of badness in every kind of wrong. If u feed wrong desires by doing things like watching porn at all especially that kind then u r bringing that wrong one step closer to fruition. I recommend taking one step back forgiving yourself and never never taking another step like that again. It is one one thing to have uncontrollable thoughts but it is another to add to them of ur own free will. Take care. Hope this post didn't upset u too much. I know u can do it.
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Re: POCD Help?

Postby SpeakOut » Tue Feb 25, 2014 8:33 pm

Very old post but I think I should say here in case anyone else refers to this. I hope this person is doing better now. But, no, that doesn't sound like POCD. The OP would have to elaborate on the first time this occurred. It's possible they have reached a point where they were testing themselves and because they went through with it think they are attracted. Or they are attracted and don't want to feel this way. Shame is a natural feeling to any unwanted thought. But is the unwanted thought actual attraction or a random thought that is confusing? The difference in POCD is the person wondering if the attraction is there at all, not having it. I have never heard someone say "It's not his fault he is attracted" due to POCD rather then "It's not their fault they have these images and think they are attracted" due to POCD.
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Re: POCD Help?

Postby HelpMeSoScared » Thu Feb 27, 2014 4:09 am

TheBadSpoon wrote:Those with POCD do not particularly "like" children - rather, they are horrified of them and tend to be very avoidant of them or at least very uneasy in their presence.

Pedophiles do not possess this fear. Lacking empathy for their potential victims, they are completely comfortable around them and have no qualms about hurting them. If they're around kids, it's for the sole purpose of satisfying predatory urges. Hell, a true pedophile does not even recognize molestation as harmful. They are in absolute denial and will endlessly rationalize for their atrocities.

"It was educational, he/she enjoyed it!"

As for the viewing of illicit material, if you have, it does not necessarily indicate pedophilia... just bad judgment. I'm sure many would vehemently disagree. In any case, it's still illegal and records of your activity are out there somewhere. For your sake, I hope you're not convicted.



I have to say that I've had those thoughts of "the child might enjoy it." That also comes with OCD and intrusive thoughts. I'm a 23 year old heterosexual female, and I've never ever had that thought until just recently. I've sought relationships with older guys since puberty. POCD came on when I started working with kids at age 17, and it was fuelled by the memory of a groinal response at age 10, when I saw a girl 2 years younger than me in a swimming pool changing room fiddling with herself. Even now as I remember that, I get a false arousal and groinal response and it's a nightmare that hasn't left me alone for weeks now! I forgot about it for years at a time but it suddenly came flooding back, with guilt and shame and anxiety and distress.

My boyfriend stated something the other day.

"Anyone is capable of anything." That has since kind of reassured me.

I've also suffered with HOCD and now I am floating between ROCD and POCD. I've had a tiny amount of harm OCD, but let me tell you, I'd rather have harm OCD than any of the above, especially pedophile OCD.

My therapist has asked me to do a homework assignment, but I'm really struggling with it. Looking at young kids in swimwear. If I was a real pedophile, would I really have any issues doing so? I doubt it very much!
There are those who are apparently hating themselves for their condition, and wishing they were dead or that they didn't have it.. I've heard many differences of opinions about that. I would not like to be part of that little group, that's for sure!

Pedophillia is an orientation, almost like being gay or straight or lesbian. It hits you at puberty. Well, from the age of 11 I was crushing on boys. I've got a thing about dating anyone younger than me too. HELLO contradiction of the OCD!

Like another poster on this site, my OCD targets young girls of specific age ranges. It's a bloody nightmare. I used to dream of being a Mom. I never even thought about any of this. I used to dream of having a little girl, to bake with her, to take her to the park and dress her in pretty little dresses and braid her hair, and teach her about our world that we live in, and watch her grow into a successful and warm, bright little person, with an amazing future. Such great dreams I've had of being a mommy and a great wife to a loving husband, with a nice home and family and friends all around. I've had those dreams for so many years, but OCD comes along and makes it all vanish with thoughts such as "You're a lesbian, you want to touch a child! You don't love your boyfriend, you want to DUMP HIM and go for a child!" It's even worse when the "you" becomes an "I".

OCD.. it will try EVERY trick in the book. Unfortunately I've read a lot of morbid stories about murder, pedophiles, rape, all sorts, all on the news. It's no wonder that when I have thoughts such as "the child might enjoy it!" I've read that somewhere before or picked up on the mentality of a pedophile.

I worked for children for 4 years, and never had these thoughts then, so why now?
OCD may get hard sometimes, but it won't fool me completely.. I just had to say that the post triggered me a bit, but to reassure others that many other POCD sufferers have had these thoughts before.
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