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Automatic negative thoughts ? What is this ? NSFW

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Automatic negative thoughts ? What is this ? NSFW

Postby johnqw33 » Thu Oct 06, 2011 9:55 am

Well I wanna keep it brief. I'm 21 male. I have been watching porn for years now, mostly I used to watch lesbian porn. But recently for couple of months I've shifted to watching blow job videos, that is videos of girls who give blow job to other men.

Now the problem is after watching some videos, my mind is automatically replacing those girls I watch to me. So whenever I see any person, I automatically think of what would be it like to give this man a blow job, then it automatically makes these automatic videos in my mind of me having me having sex with them.

Remember: I have never been attracted to men nor have had any sex with them, its just images/videos which automatically gets trigger when I see a person in real life or on internet, I still watch women porn while I masturbate and I'm still attracted to women. But in hindsight after I think about it, my mind is replacing those girls I watch in those videos to me :?

Recently I tried a trick where you replace those thoughts to something positive. For example whenever I think of sex I try to automatically replace that though to me jogging alone on a beach which for me is positive. But this trick only works for so long and those thoughts return.

This also happens when I see a women too, my mind automatically imagines me having sex with that women, which is not a problem. The problem is when I see a man, then it also automatically imagines me having sex with that man.

Now I have again shifted from watching girls giving blow jobs to other men videos to just plain lesbian porn. This makes me just think of girls inside of my mind, but it still triggers that sex thought when I see men too. This has been only started since past 9-10 months, thats when I started watching BJ videos.

Is this OCD and is there a way to stop these thoughts ? Perhaps delete the sexual topic inside my brain forever or replace what triggers those automatic thoughts to something else permanently.
Last edited by johnqw33 on Thu Oct 06, 2011 11:35 am, edited 4 times in total.
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Re: Automatic negative thoughts ? Note: NSFW

Postby johnqw33 » Thu Oct 06, 2011 11:01 am

Also these thoughts only come for couple of minutes everyday(sometimes in morning, then afternoon, then night), some days it is easy for me to ignore them some days its not, but can this get serious in the future ?
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Re: Automatic negative thoughts ? What is this ? NSFW

Postby Twinkling Butterfly » Fri Oct 07, 2011 1:30 am

Only a couple of minutes everyday? But didn't you say it happens whenever you see another person?

Have you tried abstaining from pornography?
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Re: Automatic negative thoughts ? What is this ? NSFW

Postby johnqw33 » Fri Oct 07, 2011 2:47 am

Not always, it sometimes happen when I see another person. I dont have the exact details of how many minutes/day it happens. But usually its when I see another person or think about it in my mind. Like if in my mind I'm imagining a scenario where I'm talking to someone about business, it automatically then triggers this thought of me having sex with him/her.

Yes I'm trying to abstain from pornography.
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Re: Automatic negative thoughts ? What is this ? NSFW

Postby scaredviking » Fri Nov 04, 2011 12:16 am

I know this post is a couple of weeks old but these thoughts are as you say automatic and disturbing. Here is some truth we all need to accept especially those of us with OCD like me. We dont have control of our thoughts! We may think we do, but we dont. Further more, thoughts dont mean anything about us, who we are, or our outside world. Thoughts just are! I have a particular type of OCD that causes me to have automatic thoughts like the ones you describe but in much more variety. It is the worst feeling.
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Re: Automatic negative thoughts ? What is this ? NSFW

Postby johnqw33 » Fri Nov 04, 2011 7:59 am

scaredviking wrote:I know this post is a couple of weeks old but these thoughts are as you say automatic and disturbing. Here is some truth we all need to accept especially those of us with OCD like me. We dont have control of our thoughts! We may think we do, but we dont. Further more, thoughts dont mean anything about us, who we are, or our outside world. Thoughts just are! I have a particular type of OCD that causes me to have automatic thoughts like the ones you describe but in much more variety. It is the worst feeling.


So you mean I have OCD.

I recently stumbled upon this article by Dr. Jeffrey Schwartz which describes his 4 steps for dealing with OCD, its working for me I think so far now, but I'm still experimenting with it.

http://hope4ocd.com/foursteps.php

It's sort of like Buddhism which teaches mindfulness and explains that you work on your awareness and say that these thoughts are not me, its just my brain. You can name your thoughts so that every time those thoughts come to you, you know its just the thought number X, then you just work around those thoughts by focusing your attention on something else, at least for a few minutes: DO ANOTHER BEHAVIOR. Do not take the those thoughts at face value. It Is not significant in itself. You do not have to act on them, you will probably forget about it if you keep giving your attention by doing something else for atleast 15 minutes. Sometimes it takes less time for some people or more time for others.

Basically the whole OCD problem can be summed be in 5 words - "What You Focus on Expands". So if you focus on those bad thoughts, it will keep expanding in your life, and you will get experiences and events which are similar to your thoughts even if you like it or not. However, if you refocus your attention on doing something new then those new things will be in your life experience and events.

You can learn about that here:
https://www.google.com/search?q=What+You+Focus+on+Expands&gl=US

Here's a quote from the book brain lock by Dr. Jeffrey Schwartz

Think of the analogy of the insistent
car alarm that annoys you while you are trying to read a novel or magazine. No matter
how annoyed you are, you are not going to sit there and say to yourself, “I’m going to
make that alarm turn off and I’m not even going to try to read this until it does.” Rather,
you’re going to do your best to ignore it, work around it. You’re going to put your mind
back where you want it and do your reading as well as you can. You’ll become so
absorbed in what you’re doing that you hardly notice the alarm. So by focusing your
attention on a new task, what would otherwise be extremely annoying and bothersome
can be worked around and ignored.


I got these 4 books which helped me so far:

Brain Lock: Free Yourself from Obsessive-Compulsive Behavior CD
http://www.amazon.com/Brain-Lock-Beverly-Beyette/dp/0694519154/ref=tmm_abk_title_0
OR
http://www.amazon.com/You-Are-Not-Your-Brain/dp/1452651612/ref=tmm_abk_title_0

The Brain That Changes Itself: Stories of Personal Triumph from the Frontiers of Brain Science
http://www.amazon.com/Brain-That-Changes-Itself-Frontiers/dp/0143113100/ref=pd_sim_b_20

Mindfulness in Plain English: 20th Anniversary Edition
http://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Plain-English-20th-Anniversary/dp/0861719069/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1320392546&sr=8-3

Wherever You Go, There You Are (CD)
http://www.amazon.com/Wherever-You-There-Are-Mindfulness/dp/1593976216/ref=tmm_abk_title_0?ie=UTF8&qid=1320392656&sr=1-1

Also I wanted to say that if you ever believe in astrology, as I do, I have virgo in 12th house. So that probably explains why I'm getting these OCD symptoms according to this article :P

http://astrolibrary.org/virgo-cusp.html#12th
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Re: Automatic negative thoughts ? What is this ? NSFW

Postby scaredviking » Fri Nov 04, 2011 11:36 pm

I just started reading brain lock as a way to help with my ocd. I found it interesting and am working to apply the steps. I am not familiar with buddhism but am interested to know your experiences thus far and any pointers. I am in therapy with a great doctor who has helped me through this and a major depression before, just thought this would help me supplement to manage the negative automatic thoughts. I also do daily exposure part of exposure response prevention. I beleive the 4 steps is an extension of response prevention. I'd be interested to know your thoughts and what works for you.
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