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bad intrusive thoughts

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bad intrusive thoughts

Postby Iluvcookies » Sat Mar 28, 2009 5:41 am

ok so im a christian, and i have OCD. and with this ocd, i have intrusive thoughts mainly towards my faith. Like sometimes bad thoughts come into my head that say "i accept the devil into my heart" then i feel really guilty cuz i dont believe that AT ALL but the more i try to stop the thoughts, they come back stronger and its really annoying. im worried that God doesn't know my heart and will think i really want the devil in my heart which is only an intrusive thought.

Any help here?
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Postby Chucky » Sun Mar 29, 2009 1:03 am

Do not worry, my friend, because God knows who you really are inside. He is everywhere, right? - Therefore, he is also in your mind and can tell that you are a faithful person.
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Postby amlonely » Sun Mar 29, 2009 5:17 pm

Hi,
I also suffer from scrupulosity (which is how religious OCD is named). I have posted a thread entitled "Religious OCD (Scrupulosity)" but no one has answered so far. That's why I am writing here. If you like, you can browse through this site:
http://net-burst.net/guilty/scrupulosity.htm

I'd be very glad to talk to someone who understands so pleas post or PM me if you want to share something.

Best,
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Postby Nikk2009 » Sun Apr 19, 2009 11:56 am

Hello Iluvcookies, I do also have OCD (more or less).

I don't always believe in god, but sometimes I do. And I can tell you, I have had simular feelings as you.

As Chucky already said (as I was going to say myself), god knows everything and is a kind-hearted power, he can see your deepest inside and he knows you don't mean it. No need at all to worry.
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Re: bad intrusive thoughts

Postby canchito » Sat Aug 29, 2009 1:33 pm

Hi

I have OCD and Personality Disorder NOS as well as Depression. I have intrusive thoughts quite regularly about religion in general, I feel like I have to know everything about all religions otherwise I won't be able to say what I believe with conviction. This leads me to research in depth literally every religion I can find, which has included LaVeyan Satanism which caused me to have nightmares. I'm not exagerrating when I say I honestly know about ALL religions and have declared myself a member of a significant number of them including Pentecostalism (which I was brought up as), Judaism (conservative, reform, reconstructionist and humanistic forms), Mormonism, Christadelphian, Catholicism, Community of Christ, Islam (Hanafi, Ithnaashari, Ismaili, Sufi and Salafi forms), Universal Sufism, Quakerism, Unitarianism, Sikhism, Hinduism, Taoism, Buddhism (FWBO, New Kadampa and Zen), Messianic Judaism, Neo-Paganism, Baha'i. Wicca, Zoroastrianism, Pantheism, Humanism and Metropolitan Church. Thats quite an exhausting list isn't it! My partner of 6 years has seen me go through 12 of them in the last 6 years. I quite literally am obsessed with it, sometimes I lie awake at night obsessing over it, I can't control my thoughts. I was put on Risperidone to calm my thoughts and that has worked quite well, for about 3 years I've only been into about 3 or 4 of them at any one time and my thoughts are definitely a lot calmer, but its still there, and its quite embarrasing sometimes because my friends see my obsessions and every so often I declare myself a member of a new religion. I recently got "ordained" into the Church of Spiritual Humanism and showed all my friends my ordination certificate.

On the subject of intrusive thoughts, I sometimes get unwanted thoughts that I'm a pedophile (I'm not though) and every time I see a kid I get anxiety and I avoid them, this is quite distressing because I've never had sexual attraction or sexual thoughts regarding children, its simply intrusive thoughts that I am a pedophile, it all started when I was about 14 and a toddler sat on my lap, it physically aroused me but I was a virgin and hadn't ever masturbated even by then, it was only brief but ever since then I've had these guilty thoughts plaguing me telling me I'm a pedophile when I've never ever fanstacised about children! It's very distressing!

Does anyone have similar thoughts?

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Re: bad intrusive thoughts

Postby Joolz » Mon Nov 23, 2009 1:49 am

Iluvcookies wrote:ok so im a christian, and i have OCD. and with this ocd, i have intrusive thoughts mainly towards my faith. Like sometimes bad thoughts come into my head that say "i accept the devil into my heart" then i feel really guilty cuz i dont believe that AT ALL but the more i try to stop the thoughts, they come back stronger and its really annoying. im worried that God doesn't know my heart and will think i really want the devil in my heart which is only an intrusive thought.

Any help here?



I wouldn't worry about God not seeing you for who you really are. Personally, I'm an atheist although I was raised a Methodist but I do talk to people of all beliefs in a non-confrontational way because I am genuinely interested. One of the questions I've always had is about death-bed repentance being an easy way out when applied to evil people. Every one has stated that such "tricks" wouldn't work because God sees you for who you really are regardless of what you may say. If your repentance is not honestly meant, it counts for nothing as God will know you don't mean it. Following this through to it's logical conclusion, if you are a good person and say or think a bad thing but don't truly believe it within yourself, God will see through this in the same way.

Just stay true to your beliefs and let your actions do the talking. Actions speak louder than words.
I try to take one day at a time but sometimes several days attack me all at once.
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Re: bad intrusive thoughts

Postby nicolerose » Wed Dec 09, 2009 1:17 am

I definitely know how you feel. I've had OCD since a young age, though it has gotten progressively better.

When I was younger I saw a doctor because I was in hysterics. I had the strong urge to confess to my dad every bad thing I did or every bad thing I ever thought. I would burst into tears randomly because my thoughts would be cursing God and thinking bad things about God and I didn't understand why because I knew I did not feel that way - thankfully it didn't bother me too much, considering it took about 10 years for me to get an actual diagnosis for my disorders, but it is definitely normal and definitely caused by the OCD.

As far as God goes, I wouldn't worry about him not knowing your heart. God made you and of course he knows your intrusive thoughts caused by your disorder is not your true thinking.

I would pray on it, as well. It might make you feel better.
Nicole, 20-years-old, English and Journalism Major.

Cyclothymia, ADHD, OCD; stable and functioning! :]
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Re: bad intrusive thoughts

Postby woofie » Fri Dec 11, 2009 4:55 am

Wow. I had no idea that these kind of thoughts were OCD. I've had them for a long time...some times worse than others, but they've been unusually bad lately. I'm anxious and I'm getting nothing done. I have no control over them, they just happen...the term "intrusive thoughts" is very fititng. I thought I was destined to hell due to my thoughts. I have schizophrenia, but have never told my psychiatrist about these thoughts. It's so good to hear that I'm not alone (and that I'm not destined to hell). Maybe I'll tell my psychiatrist about my thoughts, as there are a few that cause me a great deal of anxiety. Perhaps there is something he can do to help me.
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