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HOCD spikes ebb and flow

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HOCD spikes ebb and flow

Postby mc1 » Mon Jun 19, 2017 4:18 am

Some days I feel like I have a handle on it and other days I don't. I still spike when I look up friends on Facebook and see they're attending Pride events. I also spike when I see nice looking guys although I'm slowly working to overcome it. I have to constantly remind myself that this is a mental issue and not a sexual orientation issue. However, sometimes I feel like I'm in denial and should come out. I've done it before, but I always end up right back here. I suppose if I were gay I would've known years ago, then again HOCD hit me at age 19. It's confusing as all get out, but I know no amount of reassurance will change anything.

We'll all keep fighting this together.
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Re: HOCD spikes ebb and flow

Postby WorriedG287 » Mon Jun 19, 2017 1:30 pm

Yeah, to be honest I experience 'spikes' even when I feel okay for the most part. Those spikes come in the form of attraction. So it's really hard for me think it's just OCD when I can be in a decent/calm mood and still feel attractions towards the woman I sit next to on the train or a female waitress, etc. If these attractions are not real why won't they just disappear then? Boggles my mind :?

My mind needs it to be black and white and have definitive answer, even though I know that I need to let go of that. It's a struggle, but I suppose I'm not alone (though it feels that way sometimes).
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Re: HOCD spikes ebb and flow

Postby Cupcakes1568 » Mon Jun 19, 2017 4:41 pm

I completely agree. Getting triggered is so easy because your mind will attach itself to anything and twist it to the point where you can't even tell what's logical anymore. Some days I can tell I'm straight, other days I have no clue because of the constant doubt. I'll see images, scenarios, people I know in my head. It's all very hard when you can't trust your brain.
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