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groinal responses?

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groinal responses?

Postby needadvice1 » Wed May 17, 2017 2:00 pm

Does anyone else suffer from the groinal responses? I've been struggling with this for a year now after i had a gay dream and the groinal responses are what i struggle with the most out of this whole thing i think. Every picture of a woman in a bikini or with even the outline of her groin area showing gives me a groinal response. It's mostly the woman's groinal area that i focus on, i have no idea why, the rest of the body doesn't trigger me as much as the groin area does. Some days i can get to the point where i tell myself i just want to be straight but then whenever i imagine doing anything sexual at all with a woman i get really strong groinal responses and it feels like arousal and it makes me think that it's what i want and that i must be in denial or something when i tell myself i'm straight. I don't understand this at all! Does anyone else feel the same way or is it just me?
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Re: groinal responses?

Postby kalj » Wed May 17, 2017 4:48 pm

Groinal responses are natural, there are people who get groinal responses when they see animals mating or their tools and yet they don't have sex with animals.
Thinking about sexual things gets you groinal responses? really?
isn't that the way it should work? I would be more worried if you didn't respond like that.
My advice is work on your fears...after you stop fearing you lose inclination to obsess about it and it pretty much goes away, then again you could still think and rethink it again and again,check etc... and go in circles.
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Re: groinal responses?

Postby needadvice1 » Wed May 17, 2017 6:52 pm

i know groinal responses happen when people think of sexual things but even seeing a photo of a woman in a bikini gives me a groinal response and that worries me because that never happened before when seeing a photo of a woman and i didn't care before so it's a shock how it's suddenly happening now and to nearly every woman i see. That's what i was wondering if other people experience
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Re: groinal responses?

Postby purplestripes18 » Wed May 17, 2017 8:28 pm

I totally understand what you are going through. Like the other person was saying, of course having a groinal response is often just a natural response to sexual things regardless of orientation. But I know what you mean by suddenly getting these physical response you've never had before. I would get that if I saw a woman's body or something like that and I think it just has to do with the idea that you're focusing on that and maybe it could even be something you condition yourself into? When you think about it, if you're checking for arousal or a response, even slightly, and you do that constantly, it's not surprising that that would start to be a reoccurring physical response. And I know how uncomfortable it can be but I think it just has to do with hyperanalyzing feelings and thoughts ya know? I used to get so many groinal responses all the time but since I have been in therapy and making more sense of everything they have really started to occur less often which is so nice. And honestly when you think about it, this can definitely be chalked up to OCD because it's not like women who are actually attracted to other women get aroused at the sight of every woman they see lol. Like it just doesn't happen like that, to me it's totally just OCD causing this. Especially if you have literally never felt this before your OCD began. Idk if I explained it very clearly at all because I'm no expert Im just someone who's gone through it, but hopefully this made some sense
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Re: groinal responses?

Postby needadvice1 » Thu May 18, 2017 8:16 pm

Thanks so much for your advice, that does make sense. It's just so hard to accept that this is probably ocd doing this. Getting groinal responses from seeing a woman in a bikini is so bad because it feels so real and makes me think that it must be what i want. The gay dreams as well make everything feel so much more real! I just question my sexuality every day and i'm so tired of fighting this. I've been with my husband for 6 years now and this all started last year after i had a gay dream and after that i have just doubted myself every day. It's also worrying when i don't get anxious about the thoughts anymore because i then think that because i'm not getting anxious it must mean that i've accepted the thoughts and that it must be what i want/desire. Did you also get groinal responses and your thoughts tell you that you wanted to be gay or bi when you imagined being sexual with a woman? My mind always tells me that i wants to be with a woman and that i would like/enjoy it and i would rather it than being with my husband, is this just hocd doing this? :(
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Re: groinal responses?

Postby kalj » Fri May 19, 2017 1:50 am

Lets do psychology 101
let me just guess your groinal respones started after you started thinking about women.
As purplestripes pointed out you conditioned yourself which means that you associated women with sex which basically causes your groinal respones.been there
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Re: groinal responses?

Postby purplestripes18 » Fri May 19, 2017 1:24 pm

needadvice1 wrote:Thanks so much for your advice, that does make sense. It's just so hard to accept that this is probably ocd doing this. Getting groinal responses from seeing a woman in a bikini is so bad because it feels so real and makes me think that it must be what i want. The gay dreams as well make everything feel so much more real! I just question my sexuality every day and i'm so tired of fighting this. I've been with my husband for 6 years now and this all started last year after i had a gay dream and after that i have just doubted myself every day. It's also worrying when i don't get anxious about the thoughts anymore because i then think that because i'm not getting anxious it must mean that i've accepted the thoughts and that it must be what i want/desire. Did you also get groinal responses and your thoughts tell you that you wanted to be gay or bi when you imagined being sexual with a woman? My mind always tells me that i wants to be with a woman and that i would like/enjoy it and i would rather it than being with my husband, is this just hocd doing this? :(


These are all perfectly average thoughts coming from someone with hocd, I can say I've experienced them all myself. So I know how uncomfortable and real each one feels!! The discomfort from the groinal responses isn't easy, but it truly is something coming from your ocd and you just have to get past it and hopefully it will die down. I'm sorry I wish I could give you a better solution but I think just working out your ocd more will be the answer to that. Just remember it's due to ocd. As for the gay dreams, I've had plenty of those and it's not fun. I had some with my friends in it even. But you can't control your dreams. You can't even control if you're "enjoying" it in the dream or not, so if you have a dream where you seem to be enjoying it, that's totally not indicative of real life. It's a part of the dream! I know having dreams like this makes it seem so real but honestly you could have dreams about anything, and especially since the topic of sexuality is constantly on your mind it's no surprise it would show up in your dream. So it says more about your obsession than your sexuality! And lastly when you get these thoughts or feelings where it feels like you are gay or bisexual or would enjoy that more, keep in mind not only is this ocd, but saying it FEELS like it is a lot different from reality. You could make yourself think it feels like a lot of different things. It's so easy when you have ocd and you're obsessing and overanalyzing to create a false perception in your head that it feels like you're gay. And also when imaging situations it's also very easy to make it feel as though you're enjoying it - because you're hyperanalyzing everything. The thing is, with ocd we think the solution to figuring out if we are gay is to imagine it, and if we feel any tiny sensation that may indicate we like it, that's proof. But this just isn't rational. Almost nothing about the thought process of ocd is rational. Trying to prove to ourselves through this constant cycle of obsessing and compulsions will never bring us to a conclusive answer. So no matter what it "feels" like, or what your brain tells you, keep in mind that your are obsessing. Nothing is going to feel 100% certain the way you want it to with ocd. I know how hard it is but in the end that's what we have to recognize; yes I have these thoughts and feelings but to the best of my knowledge I don't want to do those things. Accepting uncertainty is the key to getting better, no matter how scary it seems at first.
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Re: groinal responses?

Postby needadvice1 » Fri May 19, 2017 4:43 pm

Thank you all for your advice, i really appreciate it. I'm at the point now where i just feel numb, i don't know who i am anymore. I was watching the programme "First dates" and every woman that came on my mind was telling me that i am attracted to her and i kept imagining being sexual with her and i kept getting feeling as though i would like/enjoy it. I don't know why but whenever i see a woman my mind focuses directly on her groin area and i get thoughts telling me i like it and the groinal responses come and make me believe the thoughts even more because it feels like real arousal. I lie in bed beside my husband and my mind always switches him to a woman and i imagine a woman lying there in underwear and my mind says that i like it and that i would want it and that i would want to do something sexual with her and it feels so real, like i don't even know what's happening to me anymore. I'm doubting that this is hocd and that i must have turned! Sometimes when having sex with my husband i just feel like i don't want to do it, and if we do, during it i just keep imagining a woman on top of me having sex and my mind tells me that i would enjoy it and that makes me not able to enjoy it with my husband because i become convinced that i must be gay. Why does the attraction to women feel so real? I don't understand what's happening! Can hocd give me thoughts to this extent that feel this real?
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Re: groinal responses?

Postby needadvice1 » Tue May 23, 2017 10:21 pm

I don't know how to get past this, i feel like there's no hope. The idea of losing my husband is killing me but my mind keeps telling me that i like women. I was at the beach today and i kept getting triggered when seeing women in bikinis and my mind was constantly making me imagine having sex with them and being in a relationship with them and telling me that i would enjoy it. This has me convinced that i must be bi but i don't want to be (i think) But sometimes when i try and imagine being in a relationship with a woman i don't get anxious and my mind says "that sounds good, maybe you would like it" and i just don't know what's real anymore! I don't know if that must be what i want. When i imagine being sexual with a woman i don't get as anxious anymore and sometimes i'm worried that i even think i might want to be bi. I don't understand this! I'm constantly comparing my husband with women to see if i would like it and my mind tells me i would. Do you think i must be bi? I feel numb and i don't know what's my real feelings and what's not anymore!
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Re: groinal responses?

Postby Freemoviesdotexe » Tue May 23, 2017 11:37 pm

I know almost exactly how you feel though my theme is a tad different. Just note that while everyone gets groinal responses when exposed to sexual stimulus people with OCD tend to have extra sensitivity to them since we have a bad habit of latching ourselves to the thoughts and sensations, thus reinforcing the thoughts through compulsion and rumination. I also know what you mean about numbness, being trapped with the thoughts and feelings with your own natural disgust to reassure yourself that you don't enjoy what you fear. I get it, and I suffer with you but as I'm not a mental health professional I'm afraid I can only advise you to see someone with the chops to help you.
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