Having trouble with OCD?

I know this is long, but I need help. If you read this it would mean the world to me. Thank you.

I've had intrusive thoughts since I was little. Earliest memory was telling my dad about them in Home Depo. when I was what--five--or six? I don't remember my exact age. He told me I started when I was 8 or 9 but I feel like I was younger. For the longest time I was asking my parents to take me to a "mind clearer".

A year or two ago, I had a bunch of compulsions, and I looked up OCD, and I was just happy what I was doing had a name. You know? I didn't take into mind it was a disorder, and I didn't know what caused it. I was just like, "It's my OCD". Yay.

I'm sixteen now. One morning I woke up and I guess I had lost my libido (half a year ago) and I thought, "Have I turned gay?" and months later after agony I just accepted the fact I was gay. It went away, kind of, and I got my attraction to my preferred sex back. Through this time, I knew I had "HOCD" although I didn't understand OCD still.

A week or so before Christmas--okay this is legit right? I'm a little overweight, and after eating some food I began to breath heavily, I looked up my symptoms and I thought I was having a heart attack so I had this HORRIBLE anxiety attack and I went to the hospital. Common freak out right? Since it says you can't really tell the two symptoms apart. After I came back, still kind of uneasy, I looked up something that had been on my mind for a while. "What is it called when you hear voices?" because I talk to myself, and I wanted to know if that qualified. So after looking up that, THAT led me to a page on Schizophrenia. I read the symptoms and that led me into a spiral. Two days I was sure I was crazy, I became so depressed. I don't know how I got over it, but I think I just slowly did. But I still have remnants from that crazy time. Like I'll question my thoughts and ask if I'm in denial. Worried I'm in denial. Like I'll be thinking about this person on the street and a silly thought of, "Wonder if she read my mind" will come up after she looks at me at the right time and I'll get scared and ask myself "Do I actually believe that"?

Now after I've researched OCD, I'm scared of OCD itself. Realize essentially after the Schizo spike after my anxiety attack, I haven't had any compulsions. Now, I see what some people type about their OCD. Some severe cases, and I have this image on what someone with OCD is like, and I get worried I'm like that. I'm questioning every single thing I do and I'm wondering, "Do I think that way because I have OCD?" or "Do I feel this way because of OCD?" I'm obsessing over having obsessions. I'm reading about ROCD and I'm obsessing over the fear of experiencing that.

I know this sounds like teen drama, but can this be considered OCD? I'm kind of confused on my identity and I'm constantly looking up "how to be yourself" etc and I also came to a realization I lie a lot so I obsessively try and catch myself in the act, worried I'm lying without me knowing. Etc.

What is OCD all about? Am I it? Is what I feel and think every minute of the day derived from a mental disorder? Am I not normal? I'm scared everything I think, or feel about, is an obsession.

Just imagine this is my life. Okay? "1." is my life up until here with OCD.

1. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Then the homosexual spike spiked.

2. -----------------------______-0909--=d-f=s-d=f-sd=f-sd=-f

All those random typings? Spikes, obsessions.

Thank you a lot for reading. I need to know how this effects me. Am I simply anxious over intrusive thoughts and fears? Or does OCD effect my emotions and personality?

There is a lot of stuff in your post. Even though we can't diagnose, it's safe to say, there is some heavy anxiety going on, whatever the origin.

And you're running in a loop. You are trying to out-guess the guessing, and then wonder if that guessing is right - all the time worried about one disorder or another.

Anxiety.

One of the downsides of mental illness is, we have labels. One of the upsides of mental illness is, we have labels.

Know what I mean?

For some people it is a relief to have a name for what is happening. For others their worst fears are confirmed when a doctor gives them a label. But in either case, the symptoms are still there.

I think that is what you need to focus on - symptoms. And you need a third party to help you with it. Why? Because you have theories and "guesses" flying all over the place, and it seems the anxiety is strong enough to keep you guessing.

I think researching is fine (not the same as checking). I think it can help us feel we are not alone. But if you can't turn the corner after you have studied the subject, then you need help.

I wish I had gotten help earlier. Like you, the signs were there early. I had different signs. When I was a kid (9 or 10) I insisted that my mother tell me her favorite number. That number became a way of life - FOR YEARS.

If you have OCD, it doesn't mean things are going to get worse. Something only gets worse if we don't understand it, if we let IT guide our lives - in short, if we don't treat it.

Otter.

Hello, I have been put on 75 mg of zoloft two weeks ago, it is supposed to be a very good drug for obsessive, intrusive thoughts. The bad part is waiting the 4-6 weeks for it to fully kick in. Just wanted to mention that in case you were looking to go the medicine route.

-- Wed Jan 28, 2015 1:25 pm --

runner two wrote:Hello, I have been put on 75 mg of zoloft two weeks ago, it is supposed to be a very good drug for obsessive, intrusive thoughts. The bad part is waiting the 4-6 weeks for it to fully kick in. Just wanted to mention that in case you were looking to go the medicine route.

P.s. Right now I also take 900 mg seroquel xr and 150 mg of lamictal along with the zoloft. I started having cycling obsessive/intrusive thoughts and major depression after I had my second baby in June and waited 4 months to get help. Those 4 months were hell and wish I would've gotten help earlier. The zoloft was just prescribed because of ruminating and getting stuck on thoughts that I don't like

Because the anti depressants take time to kick in, psychiatrists also give you anxiety medication. This because OCD is an anxiety disorder.

ocdbrazil wrote:Because the anti depressants take time to kick in, psychiatrists also give you anxiety medication. This because OCD is an anxiety disorder.

Hello, I was also given ativan1 mg can be taken 3 times a day as needed for anxiety. Do you have any experience with antidepressants taking away intrusive/obsessional thoughts? If, so i was wondering how long it took to see a difference, this is my first time taking any kind of psychiatric medicine and I am trusting zoloft will work but, just wondering how long I have to wait. Thanks for any feedback!

The symptoms will lessen when you take anxiety meds and antidepressants. The first work really quickly, the second take about two months to work. But meds only won't do the trick, they are only a palliative. In order to take away intrusive/obsessional thoughts I recomend CBT therapy.

I'm currently taking prozac and it has helped me with my masturbation addiction. But I'm still obsessing and I still get anxiety, not to mention I can no longer get good sleep. It feels like most of the anxiety has turned into depression.

ocdbrazil wrote:The symptoms will lessen when you take anxiety meds and antidepressants. The first work really quickly, the second take about two months to work. But meds only won't do the trick, they are only a palliative. In order to take away intrusive/obsessional thoughts I recomend CBT therapy.

Thanks for the response, I'm two weeks into the antidepressant and keep expecting something to be different, I am impatient lol. but, this whole thing seems like forever. It only started after having my second child. My doctor first started by treating the moods that were all over the place and the depression by prescribing seroquel xr and lamictal. I've had the intrusive and obsessive thoughts the whole time though. I'm doing ok on the two meds with the ativan to help as needed. But, the thoughts bother me the most and make me feel like I'll never be the same as I used to be. It makes me cry often because I have these horrible thoughts going through my mind plus everything just seems negative. Yet I'm here with my two beautiful children and this is not at all what I imagined this time after my second child. In fact, I'm crying while writing this because this whole situation is just scary and foreign to me. That's why I'm hoping that taking an antidepressant with this combo works. God knows I've done enough research on how zoloft works.

-- Thu Jan 29, 2015 10:15 am --

HopeLite wrote:I'm currently taking prozac and it has helped me with my masturbation addiction. But I'm still obsessing and I still get anxiety, not to mention I can no longer get good sleep. It feels like most of the anxiety has turned into depression.

Thanks for your response. I was not sleeping at all for awhile when I first started having symptoms of post partum depression which i know is different from your situation. Seroquel is so good for sleeping. I currently take 400 mg at 6pm because the extended release version takes a couple hours to kick in. and by 9 or 10 it kicks in. It's not overpowering, I just sleep now. So, if I can ask do you feel prozac has benefited you at all with obsessing?