*Trigger Alert*
During these days, it occurred to me that I might be asleep or in a coma, or in prison because I snapped and commited a crime(or viceversa) without knowing it, or that I am in a psychiatric ward, snapped. Or that I am dead and experiencing hell (this is the strongest one). Everything that happens and doesn't happens, day by day, "confirms" my fears. How do I know this is impossible? Just compare this feeling to a really vivid dream, and tell me it is impossible. I remember once I had a vivid dream that I woke up, only to find myself really waking up later. How do I know if I really woke up that second time and that I wasn't just the same dream?
I feel I am in denial by just throwing this on the OCD sack. I recognize my OCD, but that doesn't mean everything that I experience must be just the OCD. How am I supposed to believe this is just my OCD? Even more, how am I supposed to "just accept these existential thoughts and move forward"? Then what? Live with, and accept a permanent terrible uncertainty of this nature? Then how will my life be? I feel it will be worse than now. I'm not so sure that the "just accept the thoughts" is helpful for every thought. How do I know that accepting THESE kind of thoughts won't make things worse?
I don't want to compare, but I think existential intrusive thoughts are in a different level than other forms of thoughts may be.I'm having serious doubts about how helpful could something like CBT (which I reluctantly am about to try) be for handling this. I could be wrong, but this is how I feel.