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OCD, delusion, or harsh reality denial?

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OCD, delusion, or harsh reality denial?

Postby Wolf Mind » Wed Oct 22, 2014 6:24 am

*Trigger Alert*

During these days, it occurred to me that I might be asleep or in a coma, or in prison because I snapped and commited a crime(or viceversa) without knowing it, or that I am in a psychiatric ward, snapped. Or that I am dead and experiencing hell (this is the strongest one). Everything that happens and doesn't happens, day by day, "confirms" my fears. How do I know this is impossible? Just compare this feeling to a really vivid dream, and tell me it is impossible. I remember once I had a vivid dream that I woke up, only to find myself really waking up later. How do I know if I really woke up that second time and that I wasn't just the same dream?

I feel I am in denial by just throwing this on the OCD sack. I recognize my OCD, but that doesn't mean everything that I experience must be just the OCD. How am I supposed to believe this is just my OCD? Even more, how am I supposed to "just accept these existential thoughts and move forward"? Then what? Live with, and accept a permanent terrible uncertainty of this nature? Then how will my life be? I feel it will be worse than now. I'm not so sure that the "just accept the thoughts" is helpful for every thought. How do I know that accepting THESE kind of thoughts won't make things worse?

I don't want to compare, but I think existential intrusive thoughts are in a different level than other forms of thoughts may be.I'm having serious doubts about how helpful could something like CBT (which I reluctantly am about to try) be for handling this. I could be wrong, but this is how I feel.
Sorry about my english, as it is not my first language.
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Re: OCD, delusion, or harsh reality denial?

Postby Wolf Mind » Wed Oct 22, 2014 7:49 pm

This time I can't see this as irrational. On the contrary, I see it as the explanation of everything that has been happening to me during the last month. I don't see this as just another irrational thought spiked in me, product of the OCD. I see this as the explanation of my suffering during this month. I feel I am dead and experiencing hell, and that this a fake world, even this forum is a fake version of the real one.

I don't want to accept this, but I can't either see it as irrational, as with other thoughts I've had had lately.
Sorry about my english, as it is not my first language.
Wolf Mind
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