Obsession to counteract another obsession

Hey guys,

I am currently dealing with the same obsession for the past 8 years. I have had 1 primary theme of obsession throughout the course of my life. It pertains to intelligence. The obsession I am dealing with now was created to counteract the obsession of my feeling of not being intelligent. Normally, my compulsions need to manifest abruptly and unexpectedly.

Two years ago I wanted to apply to a masters program in social work. Once again my obsession of intelligence said go to the best school or else you will suffer with miserable and tortuous compulsions, never meet a gf and never have a fulfilling social life. I know what your thinking all unrealistic forecasted predictions. Actually they always come true. The sad reality of my ocd. I fought my parents not to go to the school close to me however i was forced to go. So before I entered my first year, I was still dealing with the same obsession of intelligence which was causing me high anxiety. So for the first time in my ocd career, I had to force create a compulsion albeit a very destructive one.

So I suffered miserably throughout the program, never having a social life, paralyzed and disabled by anxiety. I graduated last year but decided to take a less stressful job in retail because I was getting destroyed by my ocd. I am 29 yrs old now and I'm trying to figure out what to do with my life. I want to get married, have kids, have a nice family and have a reputable job. The only problem is when I have a more reputable job that requires more responsibilities, i start to depend on these compulsions where I have to ask many reassurance questions. Its a hell life.

For me its like a death sentence. I am trying to devise a normal and effective compulsion to counteract my current compulsion. unfortunately the only hope I can see is abruptly disconnecting from my parents and starting a new life somewhere else. The ocd reassurance compulsion is with my parents. The ocd disease( reassurance questions and repeating words) is living in my house with my parents. The only solution i see is leaving home permanently. The craziness, hysteria, and earth shattering move of leaving home will give me the compulsion I need to work a reputable job, focusing on being successful and keep getting promoted.

I will be able to utilize the motivation, perseverance and hard work ethic that is deep inside of me however no one can really see that now because they just see me home not working. Please anyone with experience in creating compulsions to counteract other compulsions through forced manual manifestation and not unexpectedly, please help. thank you:)

That's a lot going on there rz. If you've read other posts here, you probably wont be surprised when I ask if you have ever been officially diagnosed or treated for OCD? It certainly seems like there is a lot of O/C going on, but I wonder if that is the whole story. So I am curious to know if you have ever laid it out for a professional.

It seems like you are attempting, or have attempted to outwit the OCD by using tools that OCD creates, like compulsions (which you are calling counteractive compulsions). I have never heard of that, to be honest. Unless this is just another way of trying to cognitively work around the symptoms.

I wish I could tell you how "creating compulsions to counteract other compulsions" could be helpful. I suppose if the new compulsions cut your wasted time and stress by a measurable amount, that would be a good thing. But you are still dealing with OCD, which shouldn't be given a permanent foothold.

Also, even thought you may be able to reduce the compulsions, you are still dealing with anxiety, which can manifest it other areas besides OCD symptoms.

I'd like to know more about your Philosophy on this way of treating your illness, and your opinion about professional help, and meds.

Otter.

You don't need to do all that roundabout crap. It sounds to me like you aren't facing the fears and are just avoiding the obsession. I used to have zero friends, I was in my early twenties and had not had a serious relationship. I used to obsess about not being intelligent enough, funny enough, creative enough, good looking enough etc...I stayed in my dorm room so much I forgot the sound of my own voice because I was so isolated. When I began to speak up in class (the one chance I had to talk) it surprised me to hear the sound of my voice because I had forgotten what I sounded like.

After a lot of therapy I began to face my fears and just buck up. I stopped caring about anyone else's opinion and started doing just the things I wanted to do and said screw it to all my fears that were holding me back. Eventually I made a lot of friends, got a long-term relationship with a girlfriend and have done very well in school and academic circles. Turns out if you have OCD your chances of being more intelligent are increased so I am willing to bet that the reliance on reassurance and you holding yourself back are the real problems. Moving out would be good for you, but sitting around "thinking" about your plans isn't doing any good. People view you that way because that is in fact what you are doing. I'm sure you are capable of doing well, but all that capability goes out the window if you don't actually start doing actions to improve your situation.

Also OCD is not a disease, it is a "disorder" that describes a nervous system and how the brain interacts. People with OCD don't always "have" OCD, it is only triggered at certain times to have high activity in certain parts of the brain that creates the notorious OCD loop. Other times a person with OCD will in fact NOT exhibit OCD symptoms. Also keep in mind that some scientists argue that OCD might have made certain famous individuals more focused in their field and "better" at what they did.

ditto what Otter said. and i'd like to add..

i do understand what you meant by obsession to counteract another obsession and creating compulsion to counteract another compulsion. it has helped me to reduce my obsession and compulsion A LOT. it also reduce my stress. but. i admit it's really tricky thing. but we have different OCD theme. and like Otter has said,

Otter wrote:But you are still dealing with OCD, which shouldn't be given a permanent foothold.

Also, even thought you may be able to reduce the compulsions, you are still dealing with anxiety, which can manifest it other areas besides OCD symptoms.

o to counteract another o, c to counteract another c is only one of many ways of overcoming and maintaining my OCD. besides that, i still have to do a lot of work. like force myself to stop doing some compulsions, exercising mindfulness, accept some of the bad thoughts, made a commitment, etc. and as i said, it's really tricky.. perhaps you discuss it to MH professional.

good luck to you RZ.