i know i m irritating u people

I am a ocd sufferer. Intrusive and unwanted real seeming thoughts in plenty. Anxiety high. I m trying best to not to do compulsions. But one particular thought of death of family comes like real wish. In morning i wanted to sleep. Family pressure made me to get up. A thought popped up in mind that i will be able to sleep if family dies somehow. I felt good with the thought of free life and free sleep. Immediately anxiety reached high thinking that to sleep i want death of family. I love them more than self but why such thoughts come n why do i like them for a moment?? Is this happening to others also with ocd??? Or i m a psychopath. Please reply asap. I want to commit suicide for being such a bad person.

you're not psychopath. it's your OCD. hang in there, please.

Sanjy, please let us know that you're safe

hi sanjy.

I'm currently facing similar situation as you, trying to cope with many intrusive thoughts that are going through my head, so i can understand how bad you must be feeling. I, too also feel the same whenever such thoughts occur.

but please do not do anything that will harm yourself. you said that you loved your family and I bet your family loved you dearly as well, so by harming yourself will only cause pain to yourself and your family. stay strong and give yourself an opportunity to overcome this ocd.

My OCD has done this too. It says if I turn my head to the right it means I wish doom on whoever.
It's tried to make me think that if I sat down, I wanted to kill everyone. This is a common OCD theme.

I still cant believe that it is ocd. The thought is absolutely like my wish but when i think of family death then i feel tremendous anxiety. What should i do to get rid of this real seeming thought??

it sounds like OCD to me. because if you're psychopath, or the death of your family is your real wish, you won't post at this forum, you won't get hit by anxiety. hang in there, you will get past this. keep resisting the compulsion, try to not engage with your thoughts, or seek professional help if you find it's too overwhelming Sanjy