HOCD or sudden change..

Well it's the usual story, I am 24 years old, all my life i liked women, a lot.
It all started 6 days ago, i was mastubating and a gay image came onto my mind.
After that thoughts I could be gay started floating on my mind, every second, it makes me anxious and gives me headaches.
I check on guys to see if i am aroused and i feel a strange feeling on my genitals when i do that, not quite arousal but something like it, like a tingling sensation but not a hard on or something. When i am not thinking about it nothing happens, i still like women, looking and talking to them, I masturbate on straight porn and get strong feelings for certain girls when i am cool just accept my thoughts are just that.
But then thoughts come again and so does the headache and uncertainty.
I am wondering if this thought just came to make me accept being gay, which I just don't want to, or did I just change from one day to another and i am just fighting against it.
I have been through anxiety and depression the last 2 years, also been through a serious break up. I am through all that tho. But someone please tell me, i tried watching gay porn it was disgusting for me, all 10 seconds almost made me jump of my chair and run away, i think about sex between men and disgust comes to my face.
Patrialy accepting it made me feel good for a day, no thoughts or feelings about men, indiferrent. Got really excited the same day about a couple of girls but it only lasted so long.
So the question is, could i have become gay in a day, is this something i always hid deep inside me and it just came out or something, or is this just OCD tricks and what course to follow.
Thanks a lot in advance.

I don't think you can just turn into gay If that disgusts you, you should just be hetero but i think you fear too much that you might be gay and those thoughts hunt you. And at the very moment you are masturbating or doin any sexual act, those thoughts might keep coming until your fear somehow gets passed through. Don't worry too much about it.

Thanks a lot, I found this post that can help anyone with this problem, thing is I am much more relaxed after it. http://yourbrainonporn.com/hocd-stop-looking-answers

So about a month has passed, I tried many things I read about HOCD.
I tried saying to myself, okey you are gay and after that not paying too much attention to my unwanted thoughts.
Things are better, I am much calmer and I am handling it. The initial panic has subsided, but making things easier for me has given me more doubts than before.
Having the fear under control, but the thoughts still there I wonder if I am actually enjoying checking guys out and if I am just not letting myself get into them.
I don't get that tingling sensation on my genitals anymore, but I don't get my previous excitement about women either. I try talking with guys who are good looking and that makes me anxious, makes me look like gay, I don't give a $#%^ though I just want to get over this, somehow.
Thing is when I was afraid panicked and all, I read the posts and knew it was OCD all the signs were there, now that I am calmer I start to doubt myself, maybe this happened to me to get me out of the closet I never knew I was in the first place...
So, has anyone having had any improvement in his HOCD situation experienced the same doubts, all over again?
I just keep thinking about it, all day long, I am tired...

You arent gay. I too am having trouble with HOCD. But for me, it is occuring during puberty. This makes it so much worse, because my hormones are going crazy and im not sure what is happening or what I want. I've been battling this for 3-4 months, and I too have gone through a serious breakup. This also makes it worse because the depression and lack of want towards girls that comes after a serious breakup makes you question worse. First of all, dont check. If you see a handsome guy or a picture just say yea there handsome and maybe I do like it, maybe I am gay. Telling your mind that makes the OCD better because it has nothing to fight against. Also, very important: DO NOT LOOK AT GAY PORN. This makes it worse and makes you question if you liked it or not. Also, you could slowly gain an attraction and get used to that. Next, dont watch straight porn, lesbian porn, or any porn. Your mind needs a break. Take a break for maybe a week and a half,or as long as it takes to get your full attraction back. Dont even look at pictures of naked girls or pictures of girls in bikinis for reassurance. This will make you get your libido back. We werent made to look at lots of porn AND girls in real life. If you are going to mastubate, do it to thoughts. I know that is hard, I too have tried it, and sometimes gay thoughts come into my head because of the HOCD and it scares the $#%^ out of me. But take a break from all of this, and your lust for girls will return. After the break, maybe call a girl up and hang out with them or go to a pool and admire all the girls in bikinis. It will make the thoughts much easier to handle and this will be reassuring. Hope things get better, I know it sucks. Hope this helps.

It did help a lot mate, I just have another question, it will be the last one I hope.
I go to the gym I work out I feel better, more confident.
Just today I went into the train with friends. Lots of girls some of them cute. Looking at them gave me nothing, not even a tiny bit of attraction, that got me a bit sad, thought how much more enjoyable life was when I had that attraction. Then i think maybe I am going to be attracted to guys now on and if I don't let go to that I will just be sad.
Then I look behind me and there is a good looking guy and suddenly I feel like I am attracted to him, like an instant flare on my chest. That made me wanna look again, make sure. Just ###$ my night out.
Question is mate, did you ever get that feeling, that you don't know if it is attraction, or just something else?
People say HOCD doesn't really make you feel attracted to someone, I have no intrusive thoughts anymore, nor images. Only sadness and restlessness, when that kind of $#%^ happens.

i need help, first off, i am not homophobic and i been straight for most of my life so far but long story short, i might either have bi/homo-ocd or i have internalized homophobia, for a while now my mind has been tricking me to check and see if i like sex with guys, so what i would do is i would picture myself with a guy but i wouldn't like it but i would feel some weird feeling in my private parts area but i would see my dick grow, after that my mind would trick me to make me say word, like #######1 or gay, but i would feel so upset and bad that i would say any of those words but during my senior year of high school this all happened, my dad said that its just a phase and i would have some relief and then it got worse and then i really felt that i was gay, so i talked to my dad one night and he said just wait on it and he said no matter what i am, he will always love me and i'll always be his son, and then me and him talked some more and he told me to just read the bible and see how things go. Now, i really feel like i'm homophobic and that im bi or gay and just trying to hide, i would want to cry sometimes and i can't say what i truly want to say i just want my old life back i wouldn't have a problem being bi, because i still want to love women. i just feel like something is making my life a living hell. and i have porn induced ed on the side also, please help me

Listen to me mate. I have been through that. Just now, I am still going through it.
No matter, what I tell you, or what you tell yourself is going to make it better.
It is what you do, that is going to make you feel better. First of all, stop checking, no matter how many times you check if you get an erection, you are not going to, stop doing it will break the cycle.
Second, hang around with guys, it will be uncomfortable, will make you feel bad, will make you question yourself, just do it, fight your fears.
Get exercise (that helped me so much), meditate (look up the net for that) sleep as well as you can, masturbate on thoughts and ignore anything that might pop-up.
If you check guys out, stop doing that, no matter how much you want to, you are just going to get anxious. All is going to be fine mate, take it easy.
Reading your post I see it is nothing more of the ordinary, you'll be back to happy in no time, I am sure about that, you are young and many girls are going to love you and you gonna love them back. If you read your post again, you will understand that you are just panicked. If you read it again after a year you are going to laugh because it makes no sense. I know it all feels very true right now but, when you manage to subside fear and anxiety all will be back to normal again and even better.
You can try what I suggested and whatever makes you feel good during the day. Be good mate

I need some help guys. I have been on it for 3 months now, don't know if any can help me here but I got nothing else to do.
I tried accepting that I might be gay, posted on gay sites, they tell me that there are symptoms of this on gay people, all the anxiety, depression and stuff and that people can actually find out they are gay out of the blue.
I have kind of minimized my anxiety. But it is hard for me to eat sleep and $#%^. They told me to watch gay porn, I did, more than I could stand watching, twice. I only felt something inside me like immense fear, no arousal at all.
Still never got aroused out of the blue by thinking gay stuff, but I do that almost all day long now, to check if I will get aroused. It doesn't even make me disgusted or something anymore, I am getting used to it. When I don't think about that $#%^ I feel like I wanna think about it just to get sure.
Yesterday was a good day, I told myself I am just a human, doesn't really matter if I am gay or not.
When I went to sleep I had a dream symbolically telling me I was hiding something from myself, maybe not admitting and probably something of gay nature (don't quite remember) that got me woken up aroused.
Things went downhill. I don't even deny the possibility of being gay anymore, but I cannot accept it either since I never got aroused by gay images, except that dream maybe.
I am also wondering if I am in such deep denial that I am not letting myself get aroused by that.
So many times I've said, I don't care being gay, I don't want to, but I just want out of this nightmare I just wanna know, tried thinking gay stuff open mindly, never got aroused, could my denial be so deep?

http://www.psychologytoday.com/files/at ... cd2008.pdf

Read this bro. I hope it helps. I have been through many symptoms of OCD, similar to what you mention. OCD blackmails you, that's its play. Just keep calm, acknowledge the uncertainty of the disturbing thoughts but u dont have to like them. YOU can say ok I might be gay but u dont have to fancy the thought, otherwise you ll be more depressed. Its similar to "ok I might be serial killer but I will continue to live with the uncertainty without trying to fancy the thought".

My thoughts are to you. Stay strong.