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OCPD, or a super controlling brain.

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OCPD, or a super controlling brain.

Postby claspenvelopes » Sat Sep 23, 2017 9:33 pm

*mod edit*

I'm wondering about the level of compulsive behavior people with OCPD experience. I think I'm struggling pretty severely with compulsions right now? but they are not anxiety driven. Throughout the last few years the behaviors haven't been that much of a bother. Needing to do things a certain way, in a certain order, to a certain level of perfection has been great. All my managers love me etc etc. It's been getting worse though now that I don't have a job. I'll need to sit down and do something, and my brain will be like "no, here is a list of 20 other things which need to be done by 8pm and though what you want to do now is important there are other more productive things that you have to do first." Then I have to go through everything on this list by order of importance regardless of the time each thing needs to be done. Usually though doing one thing will lead to me thinking about something else that needs to be done, and instead of continuing the list of things, I have to do the task I just thought of NOW NOW NOW.

Like it's to the extent that usually, I wake up and have to do the same things every day in the same order, but now I will even ###$ that up because I will start doing something like make breakfast, and then just leave it sitting on the counter while my brain makes me finish 10 other tasks that are "more important."

It's possible it's not compulsions and I am just being bullied by my brain, but the definition of compulsions is "the action or state of being forced to do something."
I actually feel like I am not in control of my own brain anymore and I feel physically sick.

In case anyone needs clarity. I don't have and never have had OCD I don't have the fear or anxiety components, and usually am okay with how I behave.
Last edited by Snaga on Sat Sep 23, 2017 10:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: mention of other websites removed
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Re: OCPD, or a super controlling brain.

Postby abstractinfinity1 » Tue Dec 19, 2017 5:22 pm

Maybe it's not anxiety driven but it still seems driven by some feeling in the background. You don't have a job so you don't feel productive so you want to be doing these "productive things" compulsively. The feeling that compels you is then alleviated if you do them instantly, but my guess is that it could help if you can reason with the feeling and with the compulsive side of your brain about how you will still be productive if you do the "productive tasks" in an order that's more sensible. Just a guess.

Like, say you have to do X task right now but you do Y task instead because then you get to feel more productive. The reasoning would go like: "I do X task now at 8 AM and I will do Y task at 1 PM because that's when I will have time for it without compromising the urgent task X, yet I will still be productive because I will definitely have Y done, just a bit later", and then you do both tasks at the planned time.

Maybe it's not that simple, I don't know. For me it works like this though, if I manage to access the whatever feeling that drives some of my actions and if I can then find a direct solution for it, then I'm fine. It's not always trivial of course.
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