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I'm new and I have a lot of FEELINGS and questions

Hi. I've just been diagnosed and I don't really know how to feel. I've been seeing the same therapist off and on since I was 15 (it's been 11 years). During a google search of some phrases she recommended I look into (black and white thinking) I stumbled on BPD. I googled my heart out and couldn't believe how much I could relate to everything I was reading. I brought it up during the next ...
Read more : I'm new and I have a lot of FEELINGS and questions | Views : 137 | Replies : 2

identity conflict *TW*

I just can't stop this pattern. One minute I feel fine, the other minute I feel like I'm a piece of s**t and worthless. There's always this good vs bad conflict in me. It's always been there. Splitting yourself, does it happen? Anyone? I see myself in black and white terms a lot. It's rarely grey areas now.

What the hell am I doing with my life?
Read more : identity conflict *TW* | Views : 169 | Replies : 6

New to BPD and have lots of questions.

I am a 25 year old male and after years of emotional problems have come to understand that I have BPD. I have not been to the doctor to confirm this yet but in reading about it I am 100% positive. I meet all the criteria. I have had emotional problems for a couple years that have ruined most of my relationships and friendships. I tried therapy but only went for a couple of sessions ...
Read more : New to BPD and have lots of questions. | Views : 135 | Replies : 4

BPD improvement milestone.

I had a productive conversation with my super recent ex, whom I still love. I can tell my BPD is getting better by the fact that when she told me about am amazing opportunity she could, I was already telling her to take it before the tears started flowing.

Normally I would feel super abandoned and get frantic, even though I feel like I shouldn't shouldn't. I think I am able to offer love that ...
Read more : BPD improvement milestone. | Views : 172 | Replies : 4

feeling very lonely today...


i'm feeling lonely today. i officially got no real life friends left. they're all internet friends. i know the mistakes i made in life, i would go back in time and undo them.

i got no job, i dont even want a job. i just want to go in some island or forest and live away from humanity.

its not the absence of job, its the fact that i dont even want a job. ...
Read more : feeling very lonely today... | Views : 311 | Replies : 12

Things go downhill so quickly! TW!

Been feeling really on top of things until the last few days, one thing after another just stressing me out and all together they have become too much to handle. Back on the drink after month's without it and already taking way too many meds. How did I get to this point today? My CPN is away this week so feeling really uneasy about how to pull myself out of this. Its been a couple ...
Read more : Things go downhill so quickly! TW! | Views : 164 | Replies : 3

I feel empty and confused

I feel empty and lonely and....paranoid. All at the same time. I can't get out of this.
I feel like people don't like me.
I feel like I'm not enough and I'm the wrong one, but 1 minute later I think it's everybody else's fault.

I don't know, I don't even know what to think and who's to blame.
Read more : I feel empty and confused | Views : 139 | Replies : 1

Question for BPD: avoiding to say goodbye, etc

I am new to this site and hope on of you will/can explain.

As a short intro.
I was married for 30+ yrs with a High Functioning BPD wife (highly successful professionally. In her jobs there have always been a “minor splitting” of colleagues, venting, up to raging towards me. ).
More or less a 20yrs all was dormant with flaws, last 8yrs of the R/S all intensified, even to the point that she began ...
Read more : Question for BPD: avoiding to say goodbye, etc | Views : 81 | Replies : 0

Mood swings are out of control

A huge part of my BPD is my mood swings but lately I've noticed that they're so out of control. One minute I'm fine, then I want to kill everyone, and then I'm paranoid everyone hates me and wonder why I'm such a bad person. This is very frequent.
My biggest struggle with BPD is the extreme guilt I feel after I do something risky or stupid. Whilst I do the stupid thing I feel ...
Read more : Mood swings are out of control | Views : 187 | Replies : 4

No Inusrance, No money

How am I suppose to get help when my insurance doesn't cover mental health until I pay 1500 out of pocket, my financial situation doesn't allow me to pay the 300 dollars a visit and I fear going to a local mental health center only to be turned down due to the number of patients already in their system or that I'll be able to get counseling but will only be just a number to ...
Read more : No Inusrance, No money | Views : 137 | Replies : 3


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