Story Telling

I have an impression that Ns are not good story tellers. They are good at describing a condition, so they can be good poets. But it's hard for them to have sustained effort or anticipate the future, they are usually stuck in the present and cannot progress. From my experience, it's hard for them to write long narratives such as novels, and sometimes they have difficulties articulating arguments.

Is this impression accurate?

Fully N here.

I cannot tell you how irritated I am about this. I hear such good story tellers/jokers around me and I get this envy dammit why am I not funny or can tell good stories. I have anti-social tendencies and my background is medical so my jokes are perhaps...dark to some. If I was funny it would add a new element to manipulating, soften the heart a bit.

I've always wanted to write a book, I do not know why, perhaps because books can be timeless but I cannot get past a few pages. I can psycho-analyze a whole room of people down to the buttons on their shirt but not create a storyline. I try, I do the stupid bubble chart, I write down key points, but no just nothing. Then I do other things to ignore the fact that I just cannot write a book. Unless it's a children's book, for narcissistic children.

Difficulty articulating arguments? I actually can do fine counter-arguing (remember we are great at analysis) I do better after examining it longer. We are stuck in the present, the future doesn't exist until we recognize it.

I'm personally hoping another narc will write proving me wrong and tell me their secrets...

I am an very talented writer (both fiction and non-fiction), yet I may be a rarity. But as far as telling stories goes, I hate it.

There is nothing that I hate more than when someone is telling me something that happened in their day and they stretch it out into a 5 minute story with irrelevant detail. I usually cut them off and say, "JUST TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED!"

Anyone else have that experience?

Superficial - re JUST TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED! Every bloke on the planet will relate to that, and will have said it at some point to a woman!

Yes, I do think Ns are good at counter-arguing, especially if the self-image is at stake. Perhaps it's more for the sake of arguing and being right.

But it seems like it would be hard for Ns to have a sustained view on something. Maybe I am talking about beliefs here... What I mean is Ns seem always ready to cast away their principles and contradict themselves to fight off attacks on them. I sometimes wonder if they really believe in anything.

Thanks for the response on story-telling. It is ironic that Ns think about ideal love and fantasize a "future" but don't have the means to achieve them. Perhaps the future is always just a fantasy world existing parallel to the present? So is the present a progression from the past? Or is it more like a cycle?

Fairytale wrote:Yes, I do think Ns are good at counter-arguing, especially if the self-image is at stake. Perhaps it's more for the sake of arguing and being right.

But it seems like it would be hard for Ns to have a sustained view on something. Maybe I am talking about beliefs here... What I mean is Ns seem always ready to cast away their principles and contradict themselves to fight off attacks on them. I sometimes wonder if they really believe in anything.

Thanks for the response on story-telling. It is ironic that Ns think about ideal love and fantasize a "future" but don't have the means to achieve them. Perhaps the future is always just a fantasy world existing parallel to the present? So is the present a progression from the past? Or is it more like a cycle?

Many narcissists do have the means to achieve their dreams. We are the same as all other people in that some are more talented than others, some are successful, and some aren't. I used to fantasize about love. It is too hard for me to think about it anymore; I have been in relationships with a few wonderful women, but I destroyed any chance we ever could have had at building a life together.

Once this all revealed itself to me in a dizzying moment of clarity, I felt forever banished from the world of romance. But then again, I could tell you tomorrow, with equal conviction, that love is an illusion for the weak-minded and I was never interested in it anyway. I am, above all, fickle.

My inner experience is circular. I always seem to arrive back at some set starting point -- emptiness. But it isn't a sad or depressing emptiness. I don't believe we experience that feeling the same as someone with BPD. For me, rather, it is just a realization that, deep down, I do not care about what I thought I cared about. No matter what, I always arrive back at that same realization. And that is actually when I feel most comfortable. But then again, I could tell you tomorrow, with equal conviction, that I wish I cared.

Why did you destroy the chances of building a life together with a woman? Did you not fantasize a wonderful family life with them?

Seems like there is a gap between the ideal and reality. Is it hard to think about the means to get there?

Career-wise do you face the same challenges? You said you achieve your dreams too. What kind of dreams are they?

Fairytale wrote:Why did you destroy the chances of building a life together with a woman? Did you not fantasize a wonderful family life with them?

Seems like there is a gap between the ideal and reality. Is it hard to think about the means to get there?

Career-wise do you face the same challenges? You said you achieve your dreams too. What kind of dreams are they?

1) Because personality disorders are self-destructive.

2) I'm not thinking about love at the moment.

3) My narcissism is extremely beneficial in areas of career/academics. I just do not have close friends or romantic relationships.

What is your goal in asking these questions? I am a university student; president of the honors society, have a 4.0 gpa; do scientific research in a lab; I volunteered with senior citizens for 400+ hours this summer, receiving incredible recommendations; and work as a tutor. I get everything I want in that area, but in the interpersonal realm I have given up in a sense.

I think the reason the question is asked is because we, as nons, have a little hard time grasping the concept. I, for one, find it very interesting and fascinating.

Somewhere on this forum I have read from a Narcissist that all Narcs are pathological liars. So, I ask myself, would I be able to love/live/form relationships with someone who is unable to reciprocate my feelings fully and empathize with me? Would I be able to be with someone who is constantly lying to me?

Honestly, if he couldn't empathize with me I could still be with him. If he couldn't love me, the way I understand love, but love me in his own way, and prefered me over anyone else, I could still be with him. The lying part is hard, though. If I know he is lying to me all the time I would bail. Small little lies not that bad, but the realization that he can go be with any other woman, tell her the same things he tells me, meanwhile lying to both of us is beyond my capacity. That is not what I want in a relationship. No matter how much I love the person, I wouldn't be in relationship with him. I might keep loving him for the rest of my life, but I wouldn't be in that relationship because it would be too damaging to me.

Not to be harsh, but to write something meaningful, decent and sustained one must have the ability to face themselves and dig up what's inside and what has been used in life as material. Writing is alla bout experiences, if you're life is all delusional and a lie, if you are empty and unable to translate reality you will either produce poor work (some will or won't read) or you won't be able to produce. It won't matter how much you can reason or analyze it. Writers, especially the big name and famous ones, are often deeply anxious and insecure, which causes them to be harsh on their own work and create something great. Many of histories greatest writers have had countless diagnonsis of anxiety, depression, aspergers, panic disorder etc... so I do think some disorders actually do nurtuer a writer's work, just NPD seems like it would be inefficient for a writer.