An article

I found this earlier on about this bloke who decided to get into pick-up artistry and how the bloke in the end felt depressed as hell.

http://postmasculine.com/pickup-artist

It rings a lot of bells for me - cos this is what a few of my grandiosity issues are about. Desire to seek that validation. Also it's a pretty stark reminder that its all materialistic and it stems from emotional problems.


(hey, I'm also envious of these PUA's - i don't really have that confidence that these do)

tomster wrote:(hey, I'm also envious of these PUA's - i don't really have that confidence that these do)

Don't you get expelled out of your local narc guild for saying something like this?

I mean, seriously, the tone of your posts sounds really unusual to me. If you don't mind my asking, do you know why is it so?

Thanks for posting this, I found the article very interesting, especially the stuff on intrinsic motivation.

What the guy said about mixing work and socialising is exactly what happened to me (when I had to mix work and socialising.) Not for self consciousness reasons, but because of "marketing", I wasn't always allowed to speak my mind, and it ended up leading to me hating the people I had to spend time with.

My own experience with people trying pickup game, as a woman is understandably not positive. In my case because it doesn't work on me, and the ways it causes them to act towards me are ways I find insulting.

I've been found giving the middle finger to people over that stuff. I'll say its pathetic and all sorts, don't take that as personal judgement, I'm just a woman reacting to being insulted by people trying it on me and expecting it to work. - which let's face it, is an insult.

Being female, its much easier to get laid and doesn't require skill and reading books and websites on how to do it. Most women don't play those sorts of games so there's no competition - difference in gender cultures. In a way, women who want sex are free to go out and get it as and when without being under pressure to tot up numbers, but I suppose there are different pressures for most -

I remember being out clubbing with friends when i was about 14 and sharing how many guys we'd pulled that night. Once the number got past other members of the group or just too far past anything low, it was considered "too high". lol - Women are expected to "get it right" socially, conforming does not equal competing, so there are some very different pressures depending on gender.

I can read that and respect what some of these guys are going through - my own anger/distaste is at their actions being insulting towards me, not directly at them as people.

I like that the emotional perspective is given so openly, and it was interesting to read, thanks for linking.

Excuse me butting in, anagram, but I often identify quite strongly with tomster, and I'm a covert narcissist. People (but not other narcissists) have sometimes doubted that I'm a narcissist, too.

I think that the covert aspect confuses people, as we lack that surface grandiosity.

Are you a covert narcissist, tomster, if you don't mind me asking?

funky wrote:Excuse me butting in, anagram, but I often identify quite strongly with tomster, and I'm a covert narcissist. People (but not other narcissists) have sometimes doubted that I'm a narcissist, too.

Hm, makes sense.

funky wrote:Excuse me butting in, anagram, but I often identify quite strongly with tomster, and I'm a covert narcissist. People (but not other narcissists) have sometimes doubted that I'm a narcissist, too.

I think that the covert aspect confuses people, as we lack that surface grandiosity.

Are you a covert narcissist, tomster, if you don't mind me asking?

Thanks Funky (and no disrespect taken anagram.. i'm a bit different if you met me IRL)


It's just more meh, I'm a narcissist and generally people can see me for it - perhaps I don't say enough about me on here (I look for girls based on looks, been accused of rape.. etc).


Ironically enough.

tomster wrote:Ironically enough.

Hehe yeah... You're not trying to prove anything, which most narcissists usually seem to be, by virtue of how they're used to think. I imagine IRL you must be seen more a like a "plain arrogant" type, instead of "manipulative" etc. (Hell, I've been myself accused of being arrogant for simply not caring about what someone said. Not that I'm not, but anyway...)

PS: Great sig, btw. Wise words.

anagram wrote:

tomster wrote:Ironically enough.

Hehe yeah... You're not trying to prove anything, which most narcissists usually seem to be, by virtue of how they're used to think. I imagine IRL you must be seen more a like a "plain arrogant" type, instead of "manipulative" etc. (Hell, I've been myself accused of being arrogant for simply not caring about what someone said. Not that I'm not, but anyway...)

PS: Great sig, btw. Wise words.

Reality TV works wonders for quotes.. let other narcissists do the work.

Are you a previous user on the NPD forum btw? It's hard to figure out.

tomster wrote:Are you a previous user on the NPD forum btw? It's hard to figure out.

No, I'm just a regular visitor. I don't have NPD and I don't have any "loved ones" IRL (past or present) with NPD either. Though my mother is probably somewhere between NPD and BPD, but that's not really why I post here.

Been at this for four years. Not to pick-up girls but more along the lines of getting good charisma and life-style.

Went off it for about 6-8 months and recently I've been exploring those grounds again, amazing intelligent underground forums, I would base it more along the lines of psycho-analytical mechanism implication therapy