Compensatory Narcissism Treatment

TiredOfRepression21 wrote:I do not tell my therapist about the variety of PDs i consider, and she still told me compensatory makes a good fit based on everything she knows about me, which is a lot more than anyone in my life.

Is this the therapist that said she cannot diagnose you? The student? The one that said go see someone else?

Didn't you give her the 'compensatory' idea after going onto the ASPD board and getting that possibility from people there? So you planted a seed and then led her down that path?

Your 'therapist' only knows what you tell her, and being a student she isn't very good yet at seeing behind the image in front of her. All people in therapy put on a show because all people mask some aspect of themselves. That's why they're in therapy - to find out what they're hiding and why.

As long as you push towards a PD instead of opening up about you, therapy is a complete waste of time. You're only going in hopes that someone will say to you "you have Narcissistic Personality Disorder" or some other disorder.

You've even lied repeatedly here, saying you were diagnosed with NPD, then BPD, and then the NPD diagosis was retracted, and then the BPD was retracted.

I commented very early on that you weren't NPD, and (prior to you admitting there was no such diagnosis) told you to go get your money back from the person that diagnosed you. Since then others have also seen through the act and told you that you are NOT what you want to be - NPD.

I cannot understand why on earth you would want to be NPD so badly. I'm not saying I hate my life, but why would anyone wish for something termed a 'disorder'? It makes no sense, except that perhaps your life right now makes no sense and you want something to be the reason for that. You want an excuse to let out some anger you're feeling? Who knows really, but you are not narcissistic in a clinical sense.

And regarding your 'my bed, my rules' comment - keep that up and it'll be 'my rape trial, my name on a sex offender list' in no time. Being unhappy isn't a reason to be stupid.

svenska500 wrote:There is something about your posts that simply screams of 'normality'. Am I the only one that sees this? You are using big words and trying to change your identity, every time someone calls you out. You are 'trying' to be someone you are not.

Why does this make me laugh when ive seen so many people on this forum using big words ?

And if any of these things are subtle digs at me, I'm laughing at you. I sound very normal, and I'm very good at sounding normal. In many respects I am very normal.

I'm so normal my last therapist didn't understand a damn word I said because she expected me to have so many issues I don't have, and the psychiatrist sent me away because my normality was untreatable. Its sad really, being stuck with this terrible disorder for the rest of my life.

svenska500 wrote:For 'real' narcs, our entire lives, we take in information from people. We scrutinize and utilize every word, every body movement, every feeling and energy from those we encounter.

Really ? Are you sure you're a narcissist svenska? Most are too absorbed in themselves to pay that much attention to others except to how they are paying attention to them and bolstering their egos. Your perceptions and actions sound quite measured and deliberate, I sense misdiagnosis or co-morbidity.

svenska500 wrote:Your posts simply sound too stable. You are trying to convince us of something that doesn't even sound natural for you to be saying it. You are a fraud to not only us, but yourself.

That's hilarious coming from a narcissist

svenska500 wrote:I really think you are simply depressed (potentially manic-depressive) and as has been said by others, simply growing up and trying to figure out who you are.. where you fit in.. and why you aren't what you want to be.. why you feel so down on yourself.. You seem to think narcissism or some other diagnosis holds the golden key to your happiness.

Haha! Teenagitis. That's a serious diagnosis, you should think more carefully before you hand that one out... wait no, its teenagosis. Teenagitis would be closer to the condition he was referring to in the last post.

svenska500 wrote:You want a label, a reason, something, anything to place blame on how you are feeling. What you do not understand is, okay.. even if everyone said "Great, you have NPD". Then what? Is your life going to change at all? You are simply going to latch onto traits that aren't you and be miserable being someone you aren't.

Sounds borderlineish.

svenska500 wrote:The thing is.. we aren't miserable being someone we aren't.. because we are what we are. We aren't imposters. We are true to ourselves.. you on the other hand.. are trying to become someone you are not. This will end up landing you even more depressed and isolated from the world.

That would be because you're special

svenska500 wrote:I really think you are simply depressed (potentially manic-depressive)

He's not manic depressive, I'm diagnosed manic depressive and I'm not letting him into the club. I'm so manic right now I've sat around and done ###$ all for a large part of the last 2 days. Its very difficult to deal with.

TiredOfRepression21 wrote:The more I read about PDs, the more I become comfortable being the person I am in isolation vs. the cute innocent persona my parents made for me and I carried out throughout high school.

Reading brings your subconscious issues out into consciousness ? I should try it sometime. Forget all the introspection and squidging all the muscle tension out and stuff. All I got last time was enjoying a good story - Must be doing something wrong.

I was sure cute and innocent at high school too... All the teachers loved me and so did the other students. I actually never got a detention in my life, but I liked to claim I did, because I'm soo insecure about it all. Really I want to be a big bad narc, so I just talk about how badass I am all the time and do nothing about it... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k_ApbifX6u4&feature=plcp

Btw the description you posted sounds more like an overdose of repression and self-control, and to tell the truth you did a shitload better at that than I ever did. You might want to pick yourself a menu of PD-like defenses for one of those, they're complex to construct.

Anyway, don't worry, you just have "you used psychforums PD". Don't worry, everyone has that round here.

TiredOfRepression21 wrote:I guess why I am saying this, is I want validation that this is ok. I would never purposely harm someone, but I feel as though if I had a PD I could point my finger at it and live life without being someone I'm not

There are 16 different PDs. They don't all want to harm people.. you can think you have whatever you like.. take your pick.

I'm gonna have to go for now though, manic and everything, got to do some compulsive shopping or something, bring home 40 or so empty carrier bags and fill them with all my old clothes or something and claim I just bought them.

katana wrote:

svenska500 wrote:For 'real' narcs, our entire lives, we take in information from people. We scrutinize and utilize every word, every body movement, every feeling and energy from those we encounter.

Really ? Are you sure you're a narcissist svenska? Most are too absorbed in themselves to pay that much attention to others except to how they are paying attention to them and bolstering their egos. Your perceptions and actions sound quite measured and deliberate, I sense misdiagnosis or co-morbidity.

Ah, you speak the words i mouth, Katana

Although, i have limited knowledge on PDs and Sved is well known here for being almost an extreme narcissist, so i have no right to talk in a situation like this. Although i have always thought she was histrionic

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katana wrote:I was sure cute and innocent at high school too... All the teachers loved me and so did the other students. I actually never got a detention in my life, but I liked to claim I did, because I'm soo insecure about it all. Really I want to be a big bad narc, so I just talk about how badass I am all the time and do nothing about it... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k_ApbifX6u4&feature=plcp

Btw the description you posted sounds more like an overdose of repression and self-control, and to tell the truth you did a shitload better at that than I ever did. You might want to pick yourself a menu of PD-like defenses for one of those, they're complex to construct.

Oh man, teachers loveeedd me. I never really knew why, because i feel like i was so fake. I almost feel like it was one big joke that they never got because i was just acting like a typical ignorant high school kid. I never got a detention except for in elementary school. The next day, i wore my cute Corduroys and told the principle i would trade him my holographic charzard Pokemon card to get out of detention haha. But in high school i got expelled from prom because my retard girlfriend told the counselors that i was high..i ended up ODing on klonopin and then getting prescribed lorazepam by the nurse that hospitalize me..of course my parents never fulled the prescription. I was trying to self medicate, they did not understand.

And, in terms of a menu of PD's, reading about sociopaths help me be myself, lose the nice guy act, and be true to my genuine "don't give a ###$" attitude

katana wrote:And if any of these things are subtle digs at me, I'm laughing at you. I sound very normal, and I'm very good at sounding normal. In many respects I am very normal.

My post had absolutely nothing to do with you. Everything was directed solely at TOR. Your ramblings on about my opinions of you are thus dismissed as completely irrelevant.

TiredOfRepression21 wrote:Although, i have limited knowledge on PDs and Sved is well known here for being almost an extreme narcissist, so i have no right to talk in a situation like this. Although i have always thought she was histrionic

Thanks for the 'female histrionic extreme narcissist' diagnosis. Unfortunately.. I am neither female or histrionic, nor has anyone ever considered me to be extreme in the narcissist category. You are the first. Congratulations, you win the gold star for being completely off base once again.