Obsessions?

Have any other NPDers on this forum ever had/have a sort of obsession with figures of authority and notorious criminals? One of my favorite leisure activities is watching documentaries/reading about famous leaders/cult leaders, serial killers, mafia bosses, drug lords, etc. It is best described as a morbid fascination directed at particular figures. Is this a common thing among narcissists, in any of your opinions?

I also have, in the past, been known to idolize certain famous musicians. I have loved there music, but I never really cared about what they stood for or what there values were. I just wanted to be famous like them and for whatever reason their image at that time seem ideal to me. I will idolize them, strive to become like them, and then move on to something else.

I don't really know , if I'm not wrong it is common in ASPD though.

i think it's a borderline thing (but not 100% sure)

coloroftruthisgray wrote:I don't really know , if I'm not wrong it is common in ASPD though.

I think it is common in people with ASPD. I had some of those traits when I was younger but they went away with age.

I can relate to this. I like watching documentary's like FBI files, snapped women who kill, and any other documentary about crime, especially serial killers. However, I agree with xabilis. I was diagnosed with BPD so he might be right. In the assessment I got 1 score for ASPD. Could anyone explain then if there's a link between interested in serial killers and ASPD and yet I have BPD? but then again I am interested in alot to do with psychology and human nature: how they fucntion, behave, think, etc. But I am also equally, maybe more, interested in astronomy/astrophysics anything to do with science. Maybe thats why I do a medical science degree? but like I said in another post, doing a medical degree is all about being the best, being looked upon in society as great, and to meet people in the future from school who i can say to them "im better than you, look at me" type thing.

sceneparade wrote:I can relate to this. I like watching documentary's like FBI files, snapped women who kill, and any other documentary about crime, especially serial killers. However, I agree with xabilis. I was diagnosed with BPD so he might be right. In the assessment I got 1 score for ASPD. Could anyone explain then if there's a link between interested in serial killers and ASPD and yet I have BPD? but then again I am interested in alot to do with psychology and human nature: how they fucntion, behave, think, etc. But I am also equally, maybe more, interested in astronomy/astrophysics anything to do with science. Maybe thats why I do a medical science degree? but like I said in another post, doing a medical degree is all about being the best, being looked upon in society as great, and to meet people in the future from school who i can say to them "im better than you, look at me" type thing.

It is really funny that we are both getting medical science-type degrees for the same reasons! As for the serial killer thing, I have never heard it associated with BPD, but have heard many times in documentaries that a fascination with morbid things can be associated with ASPD (I definitely used to have some ASPD/sociopathic traits). Just like everything else, however, there are people with no personality problem at all that are fascinated by serial killers, and there are probably schizoid, narcissistic, borderline, and schizotypal people, among others, who are fascinated with them, as well. I definitely have never heard it being linked to BPD, but, as personality functioning is on a spectrum, it is quite common for people to possess a few traits from several personality disorders (I identify with obsessive-compulsive personality disorder -- not to be confused with OCD -- as well as NPD). I do not HAVE OCPD, but have some only a few of the traits.

I have some Narcissistic traits, but I heard BPD incorporates narcissism just for different reasons. Plus I have empathy and compassion, which NPD doesnt, unless it can be a co-morbid diagnosis I dont know

I'm also fascinated with serial killers, but I'm not NPD, I have obsessive-compulsive personality disorder. In general I think it just has to do with being fascinated about something DIFFERENT because we all feel different (no matter what personality disorder we have/think we have).

Normality bores the sh*t out of me and serial killers have interesting minds. Which is also why I stuck around with my NPD boyfriend for 5 years. People said it had to do with being insecure but honestly.. I just thought he was the most interesting person I'd ever met and I felt completely bored without him.

Narcs....can't live with em, can't live without em. Fack.

I agree. does anyone tell if someone was both BPD and NPD or just BPD with N traits? I always accepted with what the assessment was when I dignosed with BPD. in the assessment I got a score of 3 for OCD, ASPD - 1, NPD - 4, AvPD - 7, BPD - 6, HPD - 4 (i think), DPD, was like a 4. I cant remember all of them as I was only showed brifely and didnt have time to remember all of them. I cant remember the schizotypal or others but they weren't high - 3 max. I just thought BPD, but when I hear people say how they feel and think some of it makes sense. One person on here wanted to use my idealisation/devaluation cycle as a blog as it was a very good understanding of how a NPD thinks. however, I told him I had BPD and he decided not to use it. I'm just confused on whether it can be a dual-diagnosis or just BPD with N traits. There are times on TV where I dont care if people are hurt or whatever - or even in newspapers, yet if its a child or someone from a bad background or somepne i can related to then I feel empathy. Thats whats confusing. NPD says "lack of empathy" as a criteria, but I go from zero empathy to maximum or more empathy i at other times. I also do see people as objects. like for instance, I said to my therapist when I am with mates/uni colleagues when they talk about something I have no interest in I zone out and think about myself in some way (mostly being centre of attention of famous and rich) or I interject and change the subject. he said that to me that is omnipotent and arrogant and that is likely how they took it. I also said I get annoyed having to queue up for anything as I feel too important to be wasting time queuing up. He also said I described feelings for being unique and special and feel entitled to things. I do suffer quite frequently N injury - mostly when i feel envious of someone for having what I don' t, even emotionally or if I feel inferior or worthless etc. Most N might respond with rage but I 9/10 give the silent treatment and devalue their stature as though they dont exist. BUT I do feel empathy which isnt consistent with BPD. im confused.

lavendar19 wrote:I'm also fascinated with serial killers, but I'm not NPD, I have obsessive-compulsive personality disorder. In general I think it just has to do with being fascinated about something DIFFERENT because we all feel different (no matter what personality disorder we have/think we have).

Normality bores the sh*t out of me and serial killers have interesting minds. Which is also why I stuck around with my NPD boyfriend for 5 years. People said it had to do with being insecure but honestly.. I just thought he was the most interesting person I'd ever met and I felt completely bored without him.

Narcs....can't live with em, can't live without em. Fack.

That is interesting because I definitely identify with OCPD, as well. I have almost every trait of NPD, though -- all except the one from the DSM-IV about only associating with other unique/important people (I feel this way only sometimes). I actually like associating with people who are "lower" because I can overshadow them and control them.

Also, I have an ex-girlfriend that says it is very boring to be with anyone else and is always contacting me every couple of months. I guess that, despite the abuse and manipulation I inflicted, I was rather exhilarating to all of the girls I dated. Like a drug -- inflicting intense pleasure, but also causing problems.