Need help with brother!

Okay, where to start, I really have no idea how I'm going to put what it's been like living with my brother into words. Please, please, PLEASE keep in mind I do not say any of this as some sort of bias against him or to make him out to be a bad guy, as I'm sure thats how it will probably seem, maybe. I am simply sharing what he is like and what we have been through because of this. I'm at the edge of my sanity, and I really dont' know how much more I can take being around him.

I have a 34 year old brother who I believe very strongly has this disorder, probably very severely. I also believe he has paranoid schizophrenia, which has been stated by professional phychiatrists before when we tried to explain what he is like. He started in his teenage years to be very angry and abusive towards my mother and started putting knives under his pillow etc. I can't tell you how many times my mom has had to call the police and they would only send him to juvenile detention or jail for a certain amount of time and release him.

He started telling my brother and I who is closer to my age, when we were growing up that people were stalking him and poisoning the food, and that my mom was apart of it and jsut about everyone who came into our lives was apart of it, and all in on it to get at him. We had ended up believing him for a time, which put us through mental and physical stress, to the max, he would have my brother and i stay up and take turns to stay on watch duty for the food to make sure no one drugged it or no one got at him. All during this, if something did not go his way, like we bought the wrong food did the wrong thing, he would rage, physically abuse my brother and scream at us. If we touched our faces, moved, whatever we did, at a certain time we were sending messages to him to tell him we were apart of the stalking conspiracy.

Now of course we have gotten to the point where we see that this wasn't true and trying to help him was absolutely hopeless, he will take and take and take from you, and give nothing back, he is not able to hold a job down because he believes everyones stalking him at work and he ends up blowing up on someone or doing something he's not allowed to do.

He always ends up back with my mom, always says he willl not be staying at the house when she helps him and he always ends up staying and we are not able to make him leave. He's not as violent as he use to be, but he's more emotionally abusive then ever before, he's never held relationships with his girlfriends, everyone in our family doesn't want anything to do with him as they know what he is like. My mom is the only one who will give him a place to stay and support him financially, she's been doing this his whole life, and he will not stop taking from her. without her he will be living in a tent and off of food stamps.

Ontop of all his paranoia and anger, he is extremely narcissistic. You wouldn't even believe some of the things he says. He doesn't believe he has any flaws or that he's ever wrong about anything, you try to tell him he's wrong about somethign and he will belittle you and mock you. We will ask him over and over again to please stop talking to us, and he will continue to do it, talking about how the stalkers, or our 'master' as he likes to say, is feeding us lies and somehow we are giving off stalker vibes and how it shouldn't be happening in his own family.

He will repeat the same thing over a lot, not in one sentence but over a period of time. and it will always be things that only he would be able to understand as it is coming from his own delusions! It will be so bad that we will be begging him to leave us alone, and even then it won't stop.

We've tried calling the cops, they tell us we have to formerly evict him, even though he is not on the lease and he has broken into our house to get in when we would lock him out, our doors no longer lock, we told them this and they said because he's been staying here whether he was welcome to or not, he's considered a resident and we have to formerly evict him. If we do that we too will be out of a home to live in, as he is not suppose to be living here. not the first time he has been the reason for us being homeless.

He use to harrass my mom at work, calling over and over again and she's lost many jobs because of him, she has had to 'pay' him to get out of our lives over and over again, and he always ends up coming back for more. He refuses to accept anything is wrong, of course, because he believe's he is a genius and we should be following him and listening to him, I'm not joking. If you try to point out how he needs help he will turn it around on you one way or another and point out all your flaws. He will be able to do this for hours, sometimes he will pace back and forth in the house and continue to talk about how his life has been stolen from him because of his stalkers, and everyone is to blame but him, when he made his decisions in life, but he will never take responsibility for it, it's always someone elses fault. He use to hang out with a bad crowd and got in alot of trouble because of it.

We have tried to help him, it has been over 10 years, I've been through this since I was 8 years old I'm scarred for life and needless to say life has been hell. I cannot express the emotional and mental torment we are put through each day listening to him, any advice at all as to what actions we are able to take? I've recorded some of what he says, but I'm afraid to show it to the police because i dont know if it's illegal or not, I live in wisconsin.

He will be able to come off as completely normal and put on a show, so even when he has gone to a phychologist or therapist, it's always for 'anxiety' or 'stress'. And we aren't able to find out anything about what he says during the visits of course because its 'confidential' so then how are we able to get him help? How can we go about getting this situation taken care of? My mom doesn't think there is any way to get him help without his permission so she thinks giving him money to leave is the only way, or moving away. Can we go to a mental health professional and tell them what is going on? Please help I can't express how mentally taxing this all is to deal with, i use to cut when i was younger to cope with everything and huff. but of course i dont want to do that anymore as I've gotten passed it..

This situation sounds terrible. I don't know how to advise you - maybe other people here can help? Could you print off what you've written, and take it to your doctor for advice, or a referral to someone who could help your family?

I doubt he is narcissistic. NPD is a set of defense mechanisms that are so systematic, rigid, and intellectualized that someone who is schizophrenic could hardly keep track of it all given the thought disorder that comes along with psychotic illness. Look somewhere else for the answers you need as funky suggested. We aren't therapists or social workers, even though some of us may say/act like we are; we are just egomaniacs with inferiority complexes.

Once again, I only speak for myself. You will find a resolution. Every story has a conclusion that works out exactly as it is meant to. This I must believe to prevent myself from experiencing constant anxiety.

My number one motto: "As long as I do the right thing and ask for help, everything will work out just fine."

If you're dealing with someone with that level of paranoia, narcissism is the least of your concerns. Assuming narcissism part of the equation, it's almost like a minor (and possibly transient) side effect of the major issue. NPD'ers follow inflexible patterns. Paranoids/psychotics rely on unpredictability. If you ever get close to the truth, the truth morphs into something else... Even reality is subject to a plan B.

Americans don't generally get my Aussie humour .. but the obvious thing to do is to tell him that if he ever breaks in again you'll organise a hit man to take him out.

At least then he'll have something to be paranoid about. Given his condition he may believe you enough to stay away. If he reports it as a threat, it'll just sound like more of the same.

Moving on from the dark irony in what I suggested, it seems like you have really limited options. Short of having him committed or moving away to hide somewhere else. You can't physically restrain him and he's not well enough to follow any restraining orders.