jealous of a narcissist

I have this co-worker who is a narcissist. She supervises a lot of young people in a youth program. There is one guy whom she supervises talks to me from time to time. Yesterday he told me that the narcissist is a great leader, very charismatic and nice, etc. He even recommends her to be the head coach overseeing the entire program, i.e. becoming the boss of everyone including me.
I found myself feeling puzzled about that. Can a narcissist be a great leader and supervisor? How come other people cannot see their traits?

I was once a good friend with this narcissist. She cannot take any criticisms and would punish me if I raise any doubts of what she says. She uses silent treatment to punish me and tries every way to discipline me so that I say positive things about her. How come other people don't see all these? Or maybe the narcissist is really good at the job and only treat her closer friends badly?

Since I am in the same position as the narcissist, I think I am also a bit jealous of her. I don't think I get similar compliments from the young people I supervise.

I don't think I can tell other people what I think of her, though.
Any thoughts on how I can cope with my frustration?

If you tell anyone, they'll think you're jealous and discount what you say, not only about this but other things. It will most likely completely backfire.

If you're jealous, try watching how she behaves with the staff and become a better mentor yourself. Trying to climb the ladder by knocking others off of it will only get you so far, and people will notice that this is what you do.

If people like her more than they do you (this is what you're saying, right?) then figure out what it is she does that people admire and learn from it. Making her appear worse will not make you appear better.

Fairytale wrote:I have this co-worker who is a narcissist. She supervises a lot of young people in a youth program. There is one guy whom she supervises talks to me from time to time. Yesterday he told me that the narcissist is a great leader, very charismatic and nice, etc. He even recommends her to be the head coach overseeing the entire program, i.e. becoming the boss of everyone including me.
I found myself feeling puzzled about that. Can a narcissist be a great leader and supervisor? How come other people cannot see their traits?

I was once a good friend with this narcissist. She cannot take any criticisms and would punish me if I raise any doubts of what she says. She uses silent treatment to punish me and tries every way to discipline me so that I say positive things about her. How come other people don't see all these? Or maybe the narcissist is really good at the job and only treat her closer friends badly?

Since I am in the same position as the narcissist, I think I am also a bit jealous of her. I don't think I get similar compliments from the young people I supervise.

I don't think I can tell other people what I think of her, though.
Any thoughts on how I can cope with my frustration?

If you are, ask yourself why you might be jealous of this coworker?

No need to be jealous of a narcissist, I'm jealous of you nons!

Narcissists can be good leader. I gravitate towards leadership positions in everything I do. I am willing to do whatever it takes to be the head guy. This is only for one reason: my self-esteem, self-worth, and sanity depend upon being in leadership positions and having authority. I thirst for success like someone who is not narcissistic craves close human connections. I can't feel good about myself unless I am being better than someone and exerting control. So if your coworker is a narcissist, she does whatever she can to secure positions like the one she is in now because she feels bad about herself if someone else gets it and she doesn't.

I have caused a lot of damage to other people in my life and am trying to reverse. My only tip here is just don't play the narcissists game. There is no limit to how far some of us will go to win. Many of us see life as a zero-sum game. I will maybe start a thread sometime soon about some of the emotional and psychological manipulation techniques I have used in the past so people can avoid them and not be hurt.