Answering Questions After Sexual Relations..

When it comes to normal social encounters with others.. I am able to function and run a script to almost perfection with a hundred or more individuals a night, without issue.. I end the night exhausted, yet it is not a problem to run the scripts on an almost daily basis. Even one on one, it isn't a problem, multiple times a day.

Yet, when it comes to sexual relations.. what I have noticed is that after I have.. expended myself.. to use polite verbiage for this forum.. is that I am ...completely.. and ..totally empty.. unable to even run a script.

I get confused, enraged, angry, upset.. that I am absolutely unable to reach inside to be able to maintain my facade for the individual for any type of question. They see a totally different side of me than they got to know.. and for the life of me.. I cannot seem to revert back to the script I was using on them to get them there in the first place..

I've been with four new/different individuals this work week <safe of course>.. (and it isn't even the weekend yet.. yes I know.. I know..) and each time they have tried to initiate any form of verbal communication, I am literally paralyzed. Even if the act itself was not exhausting.. I am literally at a complete loss for words. I feel like I have lost complete grasp of the English language entirely.

I know most guys really do not like to engage in conversation after the act.. but from what I gather and from others I have heard from and talked with.. it isn't an issue for most people to talk with the other individual next to them.. they simply choose not to do so most of the time.

I really wish I could run a script or something.. I look inside for something.. anything.. an excuse, a reason why I can't talk.. all I can muster are basic random words like 'that was amazing', 'wow', 'you are...' (which is usually a lie).. yet when it comes to them asking me a question.. I only have apologies on why I can't talk and get frustrated.. or I randomly repeat how empty I am as an answer.. and then they really start to look at me funny..

I fear this moment.. after the act.. more than most any other social encounters.. as I know they will see me for who I really am. A figment of their imagination in a hollow body..

What about you fellow male narcs? Does anyone relate to being completely and totally empty.. unable to run their script when questioned after the act?

I can't say for certain, but this might be part of it:

Narcs don't expose themselves. In a nutshell, that's what makes us narcs. Sex is the physical act of exposing oneself, so in part you've already done what you can't do, just physically instead of emotionally. Also, there are chemicals released in the body before, during and after sex. These chemicals are designed to do different things, but one thing they do is break down the walls we have. Studies have shown that in order for a person to reach orgasm, one must 'let go of all fear and anxiety'. This is a direct contrast to narcissism.

In essense, your body is fighting your brain. You've been given a cocktail designed to break down your emotional and psychological barriers in order to achieve orgasm. These don't leave the body the minute orgasm is achieved. Perhaps your 'recovery time' isn't as fast as you'd like.

So what to do? Try dropping hints maybe that after sex you just want to sleep? It's not as if you're looking to get into a relationship with the person you're with, right? So just make it clear you're not a big pillow talk person. Then, if they start talking, you can just say "I told you, I'm not a big talker after sex." and go to sleep, or home, or whatever.

As a side question, is it possible you're noticing it more because these chemicals are basically begging you to be open and your brain isn't equipped to do so? At these moments, you want to make some kind of connection but can't? Probably not, but I thought it an interesting possibility.

I have no emotion afterward.

Sex is just a desire of mine not only for the good feeling of orgasm. It does not matter who it is, i just love the fact that i am exploiting someone else.

When i am finished, i feel exploited as well. I can relate to how you feel after sex; i feel empty, and i think part of it is because i am just disgusted by the emotions of my partner.

I remember earlier this year, i had sex with this one girl, and afterward i went right to sleep but she kept trying to nuzzle up on me. This got me so irritated that i ended up leaving her dorm room at 4am and walked 2 miles home just to get out of the situation

TiredOfRepression21 wrote:Sex is just a desire of mine not only for the good feeling of orgasm. It does not matter who it is, i just love the fact that i am exploiting someone else.

When i am finished, i feel exploited as well. I can relate to how you feel after sex; i feel empty, and i think part of it is because i am just disgusted by the emotions of my partner.

I remember earlier this year, i had sex with this one girl, and afterward i went right to sleep but she kept trying to nuzzle up on me. This got me so irritated that i ended up leaving her dorm room at 4am and walked 2 miles home just to get out of the situation

I was simply indicating that I was unable to actually put on a script for said individual after the act. In that I was incapacitated almost. Your post is completely off topic.

Your actions sound sadistic and not narcissistic at all. Like you are angry, upset at yourself and taking it out on others. Too much emotion, feelings going on.

I'm sure most every guy ever born will relate to you with the last paragraph.

We have already established that you are not a narc and that this is the incorrect forum for your issues.

Just because you can not relate to me does not mean you can judge me based on your own definition of narcissism. It isn't that clean cut, and you by no means can determine this over the internet.

Anyway,

I already got what i wanted so it is hard for me to act anything at all afterward, is what i was saying. Which has a lot to do with script. Desire = fulfilled = no script in mind because no script needed. Thats how i work. How about you? Is it different? Possibly.

I believe Awake's post is entirely correct, including the possibility mentioned in the last paragraph. I believe everyone (even schizoids) has a desire to form close personal bonds, at some level, regardless of actual psychological possibility. It even makes evolutionary sense that reaching orgasm would facilitate this kind of desire to surface. Since it's something you're not used to dealing with, and which is mostly foreign to your usual conscious processes, you feel helpless and confused. You didn't sign up for it, but it's a package deal.

Whether it's best to explore the feeling and attempt to embrace it, or refuse it and deal with it only on a more practical level, I guess it depends on your situation and what you're willing to risk. Personally, I generally opt to explore what confuses me, but this is a personal preference/inclination. I guess the ideal scenario is the one where you're able to functionally integrate at least part of the foreign feelings into your experience. But I don't suppose that attempting to achieve this is the best course of action for every individual.