Judging

I have a problem that I've just discovered - a problem I need to fix.

I'd been talking to some distant relative for a while online, and she is simply one of the most charming people I've communicated with for a long while. We have quite a bit in common, and typically she is willing to offer me advice when I feel the need to ask.

Here's my problem: I just now saw a picture of her, and she wasn't attractive. I imagined her as being so, and it shouldn't matter as she's my relative, but I find myself disillusioned, so to speak. Sort of second-guessing my opinion of her as a person.

I assume I do this with other people as well, but perhaps more subtly.



My question is, how do I physically get past that to get back the positive image I had of said person, and ignore the impulse to judge? Has anyone else had this happen?

Generally in real life it seems to be different.

You see a beautiful girl and then you hear her speak...

I have no idea why it matters to you that she be better looking, it's rather sexist.

Or something....

I don't know why it matters. Is it possible to be sexist against my own sex?

Mavet wrote:I don't know why it matters. Is it possible to be sexist against my own sex?

Yes. Even if you are of the same thing as something does not mean you aren't saying sexist things.

But in reality if they are of the same sex as you then it should matter even less..

Mavet wrote:
I don't know why it matters. Is it possible to be sexist against my own sex?


men are boring
wommen come with a default "game"
b4 puberty the only friends i had were were girles
it think it has to do with the fact that my father is cold (sociopathic traides)
and my mom was hot (emotional)

xabilis wrote:b4 puberty the only friends i had were were girles

Heh, me too. All my current friends are female too, actually.

I never liked many females - they're so dramatic and hate honest criticism. Males were much more interesting, much easier to associate with. They do not expect apologies. They do not pry.


I'd still say that most of my "closest" relationships were with males; I can be more honest with males, and they are more aggressive and therefore more exciting.

Mavet wrote:I never liked many females - they're so dramatic and hate honest criticism. Males were much more interesting, much easier to associate with. They do not expect apologies. They do not pry.


I'd still say that most of my "closest" relationships were with males; I can be more honest with males, and they are more aggressive and therefore more exciting.

and that is why my friends are only male as well. i have some females, who consider me a friend thought. But i just look at them as if they are aliens.


About the judging, don't assume things. You assumed she is attractive.