Makky wrote:May I ask. Is she a therapist that you pay privately for? Or rather an actual psychologist?
I'm just wondering. If you have a PD it can be bad for the future if you need to go to court or yadda yadda.
I was seeing an actual psychologist, but after determining that i need no drugs (although i have been prescribed lorazepam in high school, but of course my parents never got them for me since they assumed nothing was wrong and i just abuse it), he sent me to a psychotherapist. I pay her through the University services
EDIT: i had a kind of bizarre experience recently. As i stated before, i got very irritated when my therapist started catching on to me. Of course, i knew she inevitably would, since i told her so much about my emotions and how i perceive situations, but it still made me feel extremely uncomfortable.
Sunday after my appointment, a lady driving slowly in her car was acting as though she was looking for a lost dog. She was saying "puppppyyy......puppppyyyy" and squeaking a squeak toy up and down the streets for a couple hours. I just stared at her every time she looked, and i think she got the point that i knew she was wacky. After a couple hours, she went on foot, and started looking for her "dog". At this time, there was a lightning storm and it was raining lightly. She kept up the act still. After two more hours, she walked right by my front porch where i was smoking a cigarette, and i asked if she needed anything. Before i even asked, she realized i was on to her and waved at me with a big goofy smile. She was talking happily but looked sad. I just knew she was hiding something for the past 5 hours, and finally when we talked to her my roommate agreed that she was insane. When we asked if she needed help, she went on about a 15 second tangent answering questions we never asked. She said no no i found the dog and stuff but the way she said it and her face just screamed insanity. I am not sure how to exactly put it into words but trust me she was godam insane.
Anyway, after that i started seeing very weird things. I saw the same car drive by going one way, than the other way within about 10 seconds. I feel as if ever car driving by was watching me. My roommate started joking that she was a serial killer, and although ridiculous, this just made it worse.
I almost feel like, the more i expose myself to my therapist, the more this may happen. I feel like everyone is after me and knows me. Once i went to the gym and got stalked by the girl working there and had a couple friends come up to me and watch me lift while they chewed my ear off, i felt better again naturally. But still, i am freaked out that after this Friday, the same weird stuff will happen. I am considering dropping counseling but, obviously, my therapist insist i stay even after my 2 week break to go back home for summer.
I'm fine now, just bracing myself for the next session.