Self Improvement

by **TiredOfRepression21** » Thu Jul 05, 2012 2:45 am

reflection wrote:And I personally don't believe that anyone's fate is predetermined. Behaviors can always be altered. Though the way of thinking may always be there.

Thanks reflection for your post. Not just the quote, of course.

For symptoms..I just have trouble maintaining close friends, is the reason i went to therapy. I find that it is so easy to appease people and make them believe you are a certain way, that it disgusts me. I love the fact that i have the ability to do it, but i hate the fact that it isn't who i really am. I would rather be real with my emotions, or lack there of, but i know everyone would see me as a stoic dick and would not nearly receive the attention i deserve

Makky wrote:Help?

Fine. It is difficult to experience empathy or to supposedly feel as real as nons do.

But just accept the fact you are a narc then. Do what a narc lives on, attention and control and what others can give you.

I do not know if a therapist could help, who knows. All I know is what works for most narcs is to simply accept and to give in to their own desires and to not wish to constantly be something they are not.

This is kinda what leads me to believe you are not a narc. Narcs may feel empty but the high off the attention of others and the self loving makes me truly doubt as to why you would want to change that. It would imply you are unsure of yourself. That you are wanting of change....

But surely a narc would take one look at themselves. Think that they are perfect or at the very least the best they can be. They would not want to change. Change implies a transformation into what they are not, in their eyes they would become imperfect. No narc wants that.

If you are seeking help for true narcissism you would ask why does everyone not love you for how amazing you are. Instead you seek self improvement because of some self doubt. I would only seek it if it brought me some self gain.

*still internalizing*

by **svenska500** » Thu Jul 05, 2012 3:00 am

TiredOfRepression21 wrote:For symptoms..I just have trouble maintaining close friends, is the reason i went to therapy. I find that it is so easy to appease people and make them believe you are a certain way, that it disgusts me. I love the fact that i have the ability to do it, but i hate the fact that it isn't who i really am. I would rather be real with my emotions, or lack there of, but i know everyone would see me as a stoic dick and would not nearly receive the attention i deserve

This answer sounds contrived. It does not sound authentic. It sounds like that of an image of what you read from others in relation to their dealing with NPD and it sounds like you wanting others to believe you are a narcissist. There is a reason why nobody is believing you. Narcs simply do not write like this.

You have too much emotion inside you. You aren't empty like a narc. You are searching, seeking and you don't realize that your verbiage screams of someone looking for an answer to your suffering, depression and confusion in life. Narcs are not like this.

I don't know how many times we have to say it. You obviously have some emotional issues to deal with, but NPD is not one of them.

by **Makky** » Thu Jul 05, 2012 3:15 am

TiredOfRepression21 wrote:
Makky wrote:Help?

Fine. It is difficult to experience empathy or to supposedly feel as real as nons do.

But just accept the fact you are a narc then. Do what a narc lives on, attention and control and what others can give you.

I do not know if a therapist could help, who knows. All I know is what works for most narcs is to simply accept and to give in to their own desires and to not wish to constantly be something they are not.

This is kinda what leads me to believe you are not a narc. Narcs may feel empty but the high off the attention of others and the self loving makes me truly doubt as to why you would want to change that. It would imply you are unsure of yourself. That you are wanting of change....

But surely a narc would take one look at themselves. Think that they are perfect or at the very least the best they can be. They would not want to change. Change implies a transformation into what they are not, in their eyes they would become imperfect. No narc wants that.

If you are seeking help for true narcissism you would ask why does everyone not love you for how amazing you are. Instead you seek self improvement because of some self doubt. I would only seek it if it brought me some self gain.

*still internalizing*

Well there's a massive ######6 problem with asking for help for problems only a non would think they'd experience if they were a narc.

In other words, you're asking the wrong ######6 people, your problems are not problematic to us and furthermore how could you expect us to help you with such obvious non narc problems?

Do us a favor and either admit you are not a narc, or alternatively leave, or better yet, you could fix all your crappy little problems and off yourself.

You ask for opinions as to what we think is self improvement...

And from the vast majority of us we think you are #######4 and are simply looking for a label because your life sucks ass and because you perceive a narc to be supposedly invincible.

Grow up and ###$ off.

by **TiredOfRepression21** » Thu Jul 05, 2012 3:26 am

This is exactly what i am saying...just because i make a general statement it sounds contrived or, even better, like i have no problems.

I am happy with my life, I am just being very open, but i have realized an online forum isn't the place to let my emotions be vulnerable.

Can't wait for my therapist tomorrow as opposed to this judgmental #######4

by **funky** » Thu Jul 05, 2012 4:04 am

Tired, I hope that you're alright. Whatever the name for the problems that you're having, they are problems for you. You want to get back that old gung-ho, fearless spirit that you used to have by the sound of it. I understand what you wrote about finding it easy to fool people, but wishing that you could be honest with them.

Good luck with your therapy. I hope that you feel better soon. All the best,
funky.

by **awakenow** » Thu Jul 05, 2012 12:52 pm

TiredOfRepression21 wrote:
reflection wrote:And I personally don't believe that anyone's fate is predetermined. Behaviors can always be altered. Though the way of thinking may always be there.

Thanks reflection for your post. Not just the quote, of course.

For symptoms..I just have trouble maintaining close friends, is the reason i went to therapy. I find that it is so easy to appease people and make them believe you are a certain way, that it disgusts me. I love the fact that i have the ability to do it, but i hate the fact that it isn't who i really am. I would rather be real with my emotions, or lack there of, but i know everyone would see me as a stoic dick and would not nearly receive the attention i deserve

Jesus. First you read a book and start talking about the shame you need and other $#%^, and now, just a day or so after someone here posts about feeling 'disgust' with others, you also have 'disgust' in things.

You are not now, nor have you ever been, a narcissist. How do I know this? Because, a true narcissist would not care that others were saying they were or were not a narcissist. They would think the group a bunch of fools and move on. You've spent a week insisting you are.

Everyone has asked the same question - why do you want to be a narcissist?

Simply thinking yourself amazing does not make one a narcissist. Now I realize you don't currently think yourself great, but boy oh boy, if we could have seen you two years ago, right? If you liked yourself two years ago, then figure out what changed and move on.

Your story changes with each new post. No, I'm not commenting on your ability to become someone else, because that occurs with new people. You've tried to change yourself to the same group repeatedly. Just stop already. You're only fooling yourself, if you're even doing that.

by **TiredOfRepression21** » Thu Jul 05, 2012 1:09 pm

Haha, like i said, stop trying to mold me into your cookie cutter definition of what you expect me to be, awake.

I am sure that your little fantasy of me being a fool is being encouraged with every post, as you are blinded by your own perception too much to take my posts at face value.

This is why your posts are becoming more and more irrelevant, as you become farther away from knowing who i really am.

by **TiredOfRepression21** » Thu Jul 05, 2012 3:27 pm

In simple terms, i don't like getting under estimated and want everyone to know how great i am, yet no one is worth my time. This leaves me feeling bad and alone when i know, potentially, i could run any conversation and charm any lady but i just do not care enough to do it.

Maybe i am not a full blown narc since i do not feed solely on others, but i do have a sense of euphoria after i have controlled a conversation and left everyone with a great impression..which is every time i rarely chime in.

*Please, someone WITHOUT a subjective view point, advice on how to share my ideal perspectives and thought processes with people that i do not care about?

by **awakenow** » Thu Jul 05, 2012 4:05 pm

TiredOfRepression21 wrote:Haha, like i said, stop trying to mold me into your cookie cutter definition of what you expect me to be, awake.

I am sure that your little fantasy of me being a fool is being encouraged with every post, as you are blinded by your own perception too much to take my posts at face value.

This is why your posts are becoming more and more irrelevant, as you become farther away from knowing who i really am.

HAHA - It isn't just me, and funny that when I SAY a narc would think the other posters are fools, you claim my posts are irrelevant.

I don't need to take your posts at 'face value' although I wonder what you think anyone here would take them at.

I'm not blinded by anything. I had checked out of this thread, but saw you continuing your quest with others, and your latching on to the word 'disgust' made me want to comment that, once again, you're stealing from others because you yourself aren't sure what you should be doing.

I think, honestly, you're here for lessons, not advice. Good luck with all of it. I'm not interested in knowing who you really are. I know enough to know you don't interest me in the slightest, save for your delusions.

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