Self Improvement

So how do you insist on knowing who i really am better than myself? This could be completely inline with who i always have been, and you would still reject me as who i am, because you assume you know the ins and outs of be based on surface level cyber posts

By the way, all of these hobbies of mine, or whatever we should call them, are very short lived. The only thing from that list that i still do is anthro since i'm in a class right now. I am done with Chinese, i officially can tell employer's that i know the language conversationally, and when they test me i can back it up. I want to travel in my career too, since i realize my first impressions with people are really good and i don't look for long term relationships. Plus, Chinese women are so obedient and innocent

I have been on this forum for quite some time. I am able to understand and connect to every single diagnosed narc. I do not relate with you or anything that has been said. You are trying too hard. Narcs simply do not have to try as you insist that you must do.

If you want to pretend to be a narc, fine. I am done here.

Me not trying hard is being self absorbed and stoic.

One of my favorite therapists told me i have a very large amount of schizoid traits (this was at an earlier age, and she may not have wanted to diagnose me with a "disorder"). Of course, i would rather let my grandiosity out (hence the "trying too hard")

The only reason why i enjoyed high school was because i was constantly in relationships which gave me self worth. My ex girlfriend was very emotional and i just did not have any emotion to give her. It put me in a very depressed state. The only reason i am still here is because i convinced myself that the world needs me.

Sved, please analyze this and i will stop being a burden to you by "trying too hard" to be myself

Paranoid |||||||||||||||||||| 90% 50%
Schizoid |||||||||||||||||||| 86% 40%
Schizotypal |||||||||||||| 58% 56%
Antisocial |||||||||| 38% 46%
Borderline |||||||||||| 42% 45%
Histrionic |||||||||||| 50% 35%
Narcissistic |||||||||||||||||| 78% 40%
Avoidant |||||||||||||||| 70% 48%
Dependent |||||| 22% 44%
Obsessive-Compulsive |||||||||||||| 54% 45%

anagram wrote:svenska500 wrote:
Only a 'non' needs to learn new ways to manipulate/play games with people. Narcs don't play games.

I knew of someone I at one time thought highly of who use to tell me they weren't playing games. Swore to it on their children. I still thought it a lie.

I no longer do.

TiredOfRepression21 wrote:Paranoid |||||||||||||||||||| 90% 50%
Schizoid |||||||||||||||||||| 86% 40%
Schizotypal |||||||||||||| 58% 56%
Antisocial |||||||||| 38% 46%
Borderline |||||||||||| 42% 45%
Histrionic |||||||||||| 50% 35%
Narcissistic |||||||||||||||||| 78% 40%
Avoidant |||||||||||||||| 70% 48%
Dependent |||||| 22% 44%
Obsessive-Compulsive |||||||||||||| 54% 45%

I don't get your point.

TiredOfRepression21 wrote:Paranoid |||||||||||||||||||| 90% 50%
Schizoid |||||||||||||||||||| 86% 40%
Schizotypal |||||||||||||| 58% 56%
Antisocial |||||||||| 38% 46%
Borderline |||||||||||| 42% 45%
Histrionic |||||||||||| 50% 35%
Narcissistic |||||||||||||||||| 78% 40%
Avoidant |||||||||||||||| 70% 48%
Dependent |||||| 22% 44%
Obsessive-Compulsive |||||||||||||| 54% 45%

I can do that test and get Obsessive compulsive even though I have ADHD... it is not difficult to subconsciously change the outcomes.

Why would someone wish to be a Narc?

Nobody thinks better of you if you are a Narc.

They might think you're cooler if you act like an ASPD or you might be perceived as mysterious if you pretend to be Schizoid....

But a narc? I'm assuming you're trying to be the 'soft Narcissist'. The kind that is actually vulnerable inside but tries to pretend that acting tough might change peoples opinions for the better.

What does it matter if you have a diagnosis? People with PDs rarely change, even if they wanted to.

Take this at face value, for once, because it is the honest truth. I want help.

I am indifferent about relationships, but would rather bring out my hidden grandiosity than to experience my great personality alone. If i can not help this and i already have a predetermined fate, then please do not even reply.

Any post after this should be of help or non existent.

Thanks, and sorry.
Tired

Edit - happy 4th!

I'm not a narcissist and in truth not exactly sure where I stand but I think it admirable that you are wanting to help yourself. I should say first that I haven't read all your posts so I don't know how you have approached everything but maybe you should just list your symptoms. Don't try too hard to be anything. Stick to facts. Maybe in this forum not even label yourself.

Instead of giving the answers. Ask the questions. And listen.

And I personally don't believe that anyone's fate is predetermined. Behaviors can always be altered. Though the way of thinking may always be there.

Help?

Fine. It is difficult to experience empathy or to supposedly feel as real as nons do.

But just accept the fact you are a narc then. Do what a narc lives on, attention and control and what others can give you.

I do not know if a therapist could help, who knows. All I know is what works for most narcs is to simply accept and to give in to their own desires and to not wish to constantly be something they are not.

This is kinda what leads me to believe you are not a narc. Narcs may feel empty but the high off the attention of others and the self loving makes me truly doubt as to why you would want to change that. It would imply you are unsure of yourself. That you are wanting of change....

But surely a narc would take one look at themselves. Think that they are perfect or at the very least the best they can be. They would not want to change. Change implies a transformation into what they are not, in their eyes they would become imperfect. No narc wants that.

If you are seeking help for true narcissism you would ask why does everyone not love you for how amazing you are. Instead you seek self improvement because of some self doubt. I would only seek it if it brought me some self gain.