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Why do narcissists hurt people? Thoughts from a narcissist

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Re: Why do narcissists hurt people? Thoughts from a narciss

Postby xabilis » Sun Jun 24, 2012 4:04 am

i apologies narcs do not hurt ppl for fun and supply and it is not a drug
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Re: Why do narcissists hurt people? Thoughts from a narciss

Postby lodi dodi » Sun Jun 24, 2012 3:37 pm

Narcs hurt ppl not for fun, but because they deserve it! xab is my fav narc. :mrgreen:

Come to think of it, I think a lot of non-narcissists tend to think the same way.


It's troo.
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Re: Why do narcissists hurt people? Thoughts from a narciss

Postby narcbolan » Sun Jun 24, 2012 5:39 pm

The truth is that it's always done out of some form of defence, sometimes real, sometimes imagined, and always unconscious. What differentiates the way N's do it is both the lengths they will go to and the fact that more than often, the cause for defensive action is not so much imagined, but based on the N's perception of a situation which is informed by childhood experiences, the bulk of which have been either forgotten or just not recognised.

To suggest that it's a kind of sport is a way of not looking at it, it's also a bit silly.
Everything is happening.
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Re: Why do narcissists hurt people? Thoughts from a narciss

Postby Mavet » Mon Jun 25, 2012 12:36 am

narcbolan wrote:The truth is that it's always done out of some form of defence, sometimes real, sometimes imagined, and always unconscious. What differentiates the way N's do it is both the lengths they will go to and the fact that more than often, the cause for defensive action is not so much imagined, but based on the N's perception of a situation which is informed by childhood experiences, the bulk of which have been either forgotten or just not recognised.

To suggest that it's a kind of sport is a way of not looking at it, it's also a bit silly.


I wouldn't say it's always out of defense. And I could name a few times when it can be fun.
We're all mad here.
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Re: Why do narcissists hurt people? Thoughts from a narciss

Postby Little Boy Lost » Mon Jun 25, 2012 1:44 am

i lack affective empathy and I'm notably flattened emotionally, which has several consequences. firstly, i don't feel bad when i see that i've hurt someone. second, sometimes i do things that upset others that don't seem like a big deal to me. if an action is nothing to me then i i may be oblivious to effects on other people.

additionally, I'm sadistic. i have hurt people to see them suffer. I don't always do this but i have that proclivity. not every narc is as cruel as i am but i think as a group narcs are more sadistic than non-narcs. i am a particularly psychopathic narcissist.
“It is not to be thought that the life of darkness is sunk in misery and lost as if in sorrowing. There is no sorrowing. For sorrow is a thing that is swallowed up in death, and death and dying are the very life of the darkness.”
― Jacob Boehme
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Re: Why do narcissists hurt people? Thoughts from a narciss

Postby svenska500 » Mon Jun 25, 2012 2:53 am

I am out socially all the time and it seems a constant that someone is always offended by what I say. Very often individuals seem absolutely crushed and I usually feel one of three things when I can see they have taken dismay to what I have said/done..

Disgust for that person for being so sensitive or confusion that I said/did anything to offend. Feeling bad because I apparently did something wrong and it is bothering me that they won't tell me what I did. (I would at least expect they can tell me, so I don't intentionally do it again with someone else)

To me, my mind can't comprehend actually saying/doing something offensive or with hurt to anyone intentionally.. yet for some reason I come off and have been told I am very abrasive as an almost constant.

People that know me have their guard up at all times with me it seems. While yes, I feel that I am excellent socially, it is an almost form of Asperger's in that I really don't understand why people get offended, when I am simply kidding around with them.

I can tell the things I say and do hurt many people I encounter, when I see the expression on their face, but if they do not mention it, I almost never think anything of it and don't realize it unless they mention it. And when they do, I as said above either get disgusted or confused with said individual.

Nons seem to think we are always manipulating, playing some type of game. It isn't game. We are simply acting out what feels right for us and many nons take that as us playing games with them. They can't put their rationale mind behind it, because they simply don't have the wiring to relate to our wiring, as we cannot relate to theirs. It's not done in mean spirit.. I'm just being me.
Be extremely subtle, even to the point of formlessness. Be extremely mysterious, even to the point of soundlessness. Thereby you can be the director of the opponent's fate. - Sun Tzu
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Re: Why do narcissists hurt people? Thoughts from a narciss

Postby MsMeow » Mon Jun 25, 2012 3:56 am

I know this is for N's but these thoughts of N's... I'm taking them and they are working for me. Yes.

I'm so hurt and I do take it a bit personally. So, I have "devalued" the N and told him never to contact me again. And he will do exactly that. And I will never contact him again.

I have learned a bit from you N's. Its a really smart thing for a non who is dealing with an N to adjust and negotiate their own natural inclinations. Whatever we are inclined to feel (hurt) its probably not appropriate or even meaningful.

Sooooo now I am left with absolutely no reason to be upset except for some hard memories. No one is hurting me or disrespecting me. I just need to chill for awhile. If its not beneficial which it was but I don't want it to be anymore, its best to be done with them.
Its actually really good policy. I think to myself " what would an N do?"
You are only as hurt as you allow yourself to be.
Its been one full week and doing great. XOXO
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Re: Why do narcissists hurt people? Thoughts from a narciss

Postby svenska500 » Mon Jun 25, 2012 5:34 am

MsMeow wrote:I know this is for N's but these thoughts of N's... I'm taking them and they are working for me. Yes.

I'm so hurt and I do take it a bit personally. So, I have "devalued" the N and told him never to contact me again. And he will do exactly that. And I will never contact him again.

I have learned a bit from you N's. Its a really smart thing for a non who is dealing with an N to adjust and negotiate their own natural inclinations. Whatever we are inclined to feel (hurt) its probably not appropriate or even meaningful.

Sooooo now I am left with absolutely no reason to be upset except for some hard memories. No one is hurting me or disrespecting me. I just need to chill for awhile. If its not beneficial which it was but I don't want it to be anymore, its best to be done with them.
Its actually really good policy. I think to myself " what would an N do?"
You are only as hurt as you allow yourself to be.
Its been one full week and doing great. XOXO


Are you sure this is not simply a coping/suppression mechanism that you are trying to utilize? Deluding the reality is no different than drugs or drinking to deal with an issue sometimes. It has only been a week and are you sure the reality has completely set in that you never ever want to see or talk to him again and vice versa?

Sometimes it is best to realize you have a journey ahead of you and a process to go through.
Be extremely subtle, even to the point of formlessness. Be extremely mysterious, even to the point of soundlessness. Thereby you can be the director of the opponent's fate. - Sun Tzu
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Re: Why do narcissists hurt people? Thoughts from a narciss

Postby Fallen_Angel73 » Mon Jun 25, 2012 5:01 pm

MsMeow wrote:You are only as hurt as you allow yourself to be.

I'd just like to add this:
You are only as hurt as you allow yourself to be.

Also:
You are only as hurt as you allow yourself to be.

And remember:
You are only as hurt as you allow yourself to be.
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Re: Why do narcissists hurt people? Thoughts from a narciss

Postby MsMeow » Mon Jun 25, 2012 6:21 pm

anagram wrote:
MsMeow wrote:You are only as hurt as you allow yourself to be.

I'd just like to add this:
You are only as hurt as you allow yourself to be.

Also:
You are only as hurt as you allow yourself to be.

And remember:
You are only as hurt as you allow yourself to be.



Thats correct. I am only as hurt as I allow myself to be.
I'm a little hurt anagram. I can handle that.

Its been one week. Soon it will be 2 weeks. And then one day it will just be one day.
XOXO
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