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Best punishment for a Narcissist

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Best punishment for a Narcissist

Postby sun » Wed May 30, 2012 1:17 pm

I know I will be ruffling a lot of feathers around here, but I need to know what is the best way to punish or torment your ex narc?
If you could put yourselves in my shoes, you would understand why I ask this.
I don't want to hurt him physically. I just need him to realize his mistake for playing around with someone's heart.
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Re: Best punishment for a Narcissist

Postby tomster » Wed May 30, 2012 1:34 pm

sun wrote:I know I will be ruffling a lot of feathers around here, but I need to know what is the best way to punish or torment your ex narc?
If you could put yourselves in my shoes, you would understand why I ask this.
I don't want to hurt him physically. I just need him to realize his mistake for playing around with someone's heart.

Just don't bother, cos it'll come to bite you back :twisted:
"If everything isn't perfect, then at least you know it's real" - Random MTV show
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Re: Best punishment for a Narcissist

Postby coloroftruthisgray » Wed May 30, 2012 2:12 pm

Honey , what is the matter with you? Really , first of all your ex is a jerk , not a Narc. Second of all , any advance you make on him when he told you he is seeing someone else is going to make you look like a loser. Move on! And forget about him. And if he was a true Narcissist , he wouldn't have cared , he would have forgotten you already anyway.

Believe me I'm a diagnosed NPD , I know! I'm sure you can find someone who will appreciate you.
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Re: Best punishment for a Narcissist

Postby sun » Wed May 30, 2012 3:47 pm

Thanks coloroftruthisgray,

I really appreciate your advice, I really do! However, I still believe that he has this disorder albeit of a lesser degree. Maybe he is coming back to me asking us to be friends because he knows I have money and he needs it desperately. I don't want to get back with him, I just want a way to make him realize that one should not play around with their feelings.

He claims to have a very poor memory, sometimes he repeats the same funny story over and over again not recalling that I've heard it before. his parents had taken him to the psychiatrist once when as a kid and again last year, and he diagnosed him to be a sociopath. He never worries- he feels things will fall into place by themselves. Therefore, he has spent 6 yrs going on to the 7th yr finishing studies that should have taken just 4 yrs. He lied having a degree. When I first confronted him saying that I will still be there if he hasn’t received the degree, he blasted me off in a fit of rage accusing me of not trusting him. 2 months later I approached him with proof and he had no option but to admit it’s true. None of his closest of friends is aware of this fact since it will belittle him in front of them and he can’t bear it. He had warned me, that if I ever told this to any of his friends I should consider this relationship over.

He told me he controls his women by telling them when to meet and where to meet.
He always told me to think before I speak lest he takes offence, therefore I always had to think twice and put my point across as gently as possible otherwise he would throw a fit and call me a retard and ask me to see a therapist. Many a times he has asked me if I had bi-polar disorder. He has violent mood swings. I never criticized him for anything for the first 4 months and everything was fine, but the moment I blamed him for not calling me 7 days at a stretch while I was not in town, he blamed me instead of not keeping track of his well being since he was not well and that he had no phone balance. He twisted and turned every situation in his favor, never taking the blame. He doesn’t care about his family, is rude to them when they call but ‘likes’ dogs.

I have seen him cling to his friends for monetary support, food, a comfortable home etc and drop them like a piece of $#%^ if they ever criticized him for his bad habits. Although he would go crawling right back to them whenever other friends who treat him like a demi god weren’t available.

He chased me for a long time, and treated me like a goddess despite my physical deformity. Wooed me by saying I have the most exotic pair of eyes he has ever seen. During our first official date as a couple he told me he likes to take it slow in the physical department. Although he had 25 one night stands, I was his 2nd official girlfriend. Started his acts of disappearance within 4 months while giving reasons such as- my phone was on silent, I was sleeping etc. But honestly, the relationship felt more like a friends with benefits like situation.

He admits he is a pathological liar- he always bad mouths his ex saying she accused him of impregnating her. How he called up her mother telling her to control her daughter who later flew down to get it aborted. Despite all this can you believe that girl is still friends with him on facebook and otherwise. I think that’s just a tactic to evoke sympathy. I know I fell for it! That girl is still single and is doing very well professionally overseas.

I don’t have an account of the money I spent on him. Not just the booze, but food, clothes...you name it. At times he would just ask for a loan, what he did with it was his business.
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Re: Best punishment for a Narcissist

Postby coloroftruthisgray » Wed May 30, 2012 4:04 pm

Okay , if he is a diagnosed sociopath , he has more important problems than Narcissism. You think NPD is bad? ASPD is so much worse. You can not teach him that playing with other people's feelings are bad. His mind doesn't work that way , he will not be able to get it. You can not teach him a lesson on this. An why would you continue a relationship after he says he is a sociopath( if he's not lying about that too) is beyond me. Don't ever stay with people when they start mistreating you. All the Nons here say that is not how normal people do , we try to help them or whatever. Well , I say leave them because they do not change and you hurt yourself unnecessarily.

I would advise staying away from him and having no contact at all.He has lied to you about everything about himself , screw him and move on. You can not help him and can not teach him a lesson. He simply is not wired that way.
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Re: Best punishment for a Narcissist

Postby sun » Wed May 30, 2012 4:17 pm

I know you are right. But I just can't think about anything else but him. Although, right now I am in the revenge seeking mode, in a couple of days I will start pining for him. Arghh!! Why did he have to be so charming, witty and good looking!! A man's man. That is the kind of man I want to be with...who is sure of himself even if he isn't really, and not the sissy types who roam around aplenty.
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Re: Best punishment for a Narcissist

Postby coloroftruthisgray » Wed May 30, 2012 4:24 pm

Well , hang out with your friends a lot , eat a lot of junk food , get a new hair cut , isn't that what women do after break ups? : ) Or if all fails , get a rebound guy. There are a lot of guys out there , that are more charming and better looking , just keep your mind busy for a couple of weeks and you'll forget all about him : ) Don't wallow and think about him all the time and you'll be fine.
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Re: Best punishment for a Narcissist

Postby sun » Wed May 30, 2012 4:32 pm

Thanks coloroftruthisgray ,
I know you'd hate this but I think you are sweet :)
c ya!
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Re: Best punishment for a Narcissist

Postby lodi dodi » Wed May 30, 2012 4:50 pm

I know what you mean--prolly why I tend to aim for massive damage when I'm devalued.
But yea he's not worth your time nor efforts, you are much better than him, he's already suffering for the way he is.
Next time you feel it's too good to be true, you know you can stand toe-to-toe with them, you are a great and caring person seeing how you put up with him like a champion and with saintly patience.

I think you are sweet :)


Agreed. :)
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Re: Best punishment for a Narcissist

Postby xabilis » Wed May 30, 2012 5:00 pm

i'm a psychopath punishment don"t work on psychopaths i remember at school a teacher used to shout at everyone he told me : i shout at everyone exept you becouse i know it doens't work on you
and he was right
only thing you can torture a psychopath with is dmg his reputation (but if he's smart he'll make you look crazy)
or bordem
best thing to do is just walk away hopes he does the same thing don't be surpised if he turns up right wene you think you gotten over him.
if he does make sure you can talk to someone who knows the full case.
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