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Best punishment for a Narcissist

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Re: Best punishment for a Narcissist

Postby coloroftruthisgray » Wed May 30, 2012 5:07 pm

sun wrote:Thanks coloroftruthisgray ,
I know you'd hate this but I think you are sweet :)
c ya!


Well , I'm in therapy so I'm aiming to be polite , calm and non judging . I 'm going to count this post as a success. 8)
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Re: Best punishment for a Narcissist

Postby svenska500 » Wed May 30, 2012 6:23 pm

"I don't want to get back with him, I just want a way to make him realize that one should not play around with their feelings."


The only thing that will do <if he is a narc> is to validate his self-worth in that he made that much of an amazing, astounding impact on your life, in that you feel the need to show him how much he meant to you.

Love and Hate is almost the same to a significant other sometimes. With a narc, they can be the same.

Complete and utter Indifference is the kill shot. Anything less, is positive validation for his actions.

Another aspect of this is the abuse process. It sounds like to you, abuse has become love. This was not an equal relationship once you fell for his tactics. Now anything abusive he does to you makes your dopa-mine receptors fill with feelings of love.

You want to punish him, for what you desire him to continue doing to you.
Be extremely subtle, even to the point of formlessness. Be extremely mysterious, even to the point of soundlessness. Thereby you can be the director of the opponent's fate. - Sun Tzu
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Re: Best punishment for a Narcissist

Postby Euler » Wed May 30, 2012 9:01 pm

Maybe, like alot of other straight girls, you mean a*hole when you say man's-man and decent guy when you say "sissy". You should probably check out why you like jackasses to begin with.

Seriously, I'm diagnosed and I'm telling you there's nothing you can do. This may sound way harsh but its the truth:

Every girl that said she loved me or is/was falling for me immediately becomes a trophy. Its the ultimate victory over a person to know that I have that effect on a person. I've never been the type for "abuse" or any of that crap but it doesn't matter.

If he is a psychopath or narcissist there's really nothing you can do with a person that thinks in such a manner. If you're right then you have real feelings at stake while he doesn't...he doesn't even have the capacity to feel such things and he'll just treat it as a game. Its really in your best interest to learn why you're attracted to jerks to begin with.
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Re: Best punishment for a Narcissist

Postby IARN » Wed May 30, 2012 9:08 pm

sun wrote:I know you are right. But I just can't think about anything else but him. Although, right now I am in the revenge seeking mode, in a couple of days I will start pining for him. Arghh!! Why did he have to be so charming, witty and good looking!! A man's man. That is the kind of man I want to be with...who is sure of himself even if he isn't really, and not the sissy types who roam around aplenty.

The fastest way to get over someone is to meet someone new.

Why do you want to mess with someone who has a mental illness? That is not healthy for you. If you must do something then do this...Grab his toothbrush, scrub the toilet with it and move on to the next love of your life. But this too can come back to bite you, but it does work, your not going to want to be near his mouth.

Life is too short working backwards.

hugs n good luck!~
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Re: Best punishment for a Narcissist

Postby tomster » Wed May 30, 2012 9:37 pm

Euler wrote:Maybe, like alot of other straight girls, you mean a*hole when you say man's-man and decent guy when you say "sissy". You should probably check out why you like jackasses to begin with.

Seriously, I'm diagnosed and I'm telling you there's nothing you can do. This may sound way harsh but its the truth:

Every girl that said she loved me or is/was falling for me immediately becomes a trophy. Its the ultimate victory over a person to know that I have that effect on a person. I've never been the type for "abuse" or any of that crap but it doesn't matter.

If he is a psychopath or narcissist there's really nothing you can do with a person that thinks in such a manner. If you're right then you have real feelings at stake while he doesn't...he doesn't even have the capacity to feel such things and he'll just treat it as a game. Its really in your best interest to learn why you're attracted to jerks to begin with.


So wait.. you're a guy?
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Re: Best punishment for a Narcissist

Postby MissBizarre » Wed May 30, 2012 10:59 pm

He's triggered your self worth issues. Whenever I hear "I want revenge against a narcissist' I always read it as "I really need to feel as though I meant something so I'm going to do everything I can to get a reaction from him until he says what I need to hear'. You have to make this about you. Not him. Why you can't let it go and the real reason why you can't is because there isn't just him who has the problems here.

Use the experience to your advantage.
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Re: Best punishment for a Narcissist

Postby Not a Victim » Thu May 31, 2012 3:06 am

So wait.. you're a guy?


She is a girl :) not that there is anything wrong with that :)
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Re: Best punishment for a Narcissist

Postby Euler » Thu May 31, 2012 9:51 am

So wait.. you're a guy?


lol...uh, no. I'm a girl, just not a straight girl. I just don't get half the things hetero women do.
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Re: Best punishment for a Narcissist

Postby sun » Thu May 31, 2012 11:43 am

Thanks all!

@ coloroftruthisgray- I have read that therapy doesn't really work on narcs. The therapist gives up. How is it going for you?

@svenska500 - yeah I guess you are right...I have begun to miss him/his abuse, and I probably want him back, knowing that he comes with all that abuse as a free gift. I seriously need to get over him.

@Euler- True that! but how do I determine why I fall for jerks? I have absolutely no clue. I am a confident, successful, good looking girl albeit my physical deformity.

@IARN- Thank! A lot of my girl friends also feel that finding a new guy is the solution to the problem. However,I can't do that at the moment. I can't use another guy just to pull myself out of this hole. I will end up breaking another heart. Although the tooth brush idea is brilliant!

@MissBizarre- spot on! I do want him to tell me that the new girl he is seeing, means nothing to him and that he still loves me. Holy crap! How twisted am I ?
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Re: Best punishment for a Narcissist

Postby Euler » Thu May 31, 2012 12:30 pm

I have read that therapy doesn't really work on narcs. The therapist gives up. How is it going for you?


I can't answer for colr, but therapy does work. There's two reasons why it doesn't work in many cases:

1. Narcissists need to reach a breaking point to want to try therapy.

2. Psychology has the bad habit of blaming the victim when they don't have appropriate techniques available, and the research reflects this. Borderlines, for example, were viewed as evil manipulative people for over a decade until therapists found radical techniques to treat them; now they're viewed as fine but troubled individuals. Techniques for NPD that work are extremely new.

True that! but how do I determine why I fall for jerks? I have absolutely no clue. I am a confident, successful, good looking girl albeit my physical deformity.


The rest of your traits don't matter. In fact for many would be "successful" people it becomes a liability. Do some soul searching and serious self honesty. There's some subconscious need of yours to put yourself in bad situations.
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