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Is my friend a Narcissist?

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Is my friend a Narcissist?

Postby comicrage » Sun Apr 22, 2012 1:19 am

Hi,

Just want to know other people's opinion about my old friend and can we still be friends.

My female friend and I have known each other for 13 years. Recently, I have not spoken to her for 3 years and we just started hanging out. We are both single and date others. We ask each other for advice. When she asked me about advice about dating me. I tell her in a calm way so she can understand the male perspective. Just this week, I messed up on a date and she started yelling at me that I did not listen to her on what to do and I am making excuses. I asked why are you yelling. I reminded her I can drop the friendship again for another 3 or more years. We calmed down and went home. I started to remember what happened 3 years ago and I remember that I thought she was a Narcissist. She thinks she always right and better than me. When I was about to lose my job, she did not care. That was the event to lead me to just drop the friendship. In the past few months, I listen to her tell me how beautiful she is (I stay silent on that one), how her company and customer loves her, and the guy post on facebook to get her attentions. I realize in a calm manner that she is a real Narcissist. I just forgot every little detail what happened 3 years ago that lead to my decision, but these past few events made me think it may be a mistake to save this friendship. When she was yelling at our last meetup, it realized after reading on google about the Narcissist, that they are hard to reason with since they think they are better and stubborn. It is hard to believe that the articles say that a Narcissist can't be true friends. That is where I am now.. Your opinion and experience?
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Re: Is my friend a Narcissist?

Postby Maenad » Sun Apr 22, 2012 6:09 am

You losing your job is not her problem. Secondly does she punish people? If so, I'm surprised she hasn't burned you because of what happened. Also is she competive/domineering?
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Re: Is my friend a Narcissist?

Postby comicrage » Sun Apr 22, 2012 3:53 pm

From what I read about Narcissist and their control / temper, she automatically ignores the people who trigger her temper. She give the silent treatment to many people to teach them a lesson. I assume that her thinking is that they will come back for her company or something like that. She does this to men, who she had date and will not allow herself to contact the guy no matter how much she miss them. She had done this to her family.

As for the competitiveness, i would guess she does not like other woman or people to be better than her but not too much. I don't think she is a full blown NPD. However, I don't think she exhibit normal narcissism behavior...
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Re: Is my friend a Narcissist?

Postby Maenad » Sun Apr 22, 2012 6:00 pm

comicrage wrote:From what I read about Narcissist and their control / temper, she automatically ignores the people who trigger her temper. She give the silent treatment to many people to teach them a lesson. I assume that her thinking is that they will come back for her company or something like that. She does this to men, who she had date and will not allow herself to contact the guy no matter how much she miss them. She had done this to her family.

As for the competitiveness, i would guess she does not like other woman or people to be better than her but not too much. I don't think she is a full blown NPD. However, I don't think she exhibit normal narcissism behavior...


With what I was saying about punishment, I was referring to when a NPD suffers NPD injury. It makes us vindictive. When people Are disrespectful alot of narcissts become super douches and also get pissed when others try to control them. Here's a better definition of NPD for you: http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/articl ... viours.htm
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Re: Is my friend a Narcissist?

Postby BlueFlower » Mon Apr 23, 2012 12:36 am

Do you really need a frenemy in your life?

If so, why?
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Re: Is my friend a Narcissist?

Postby marycarterpaint » Mon Apr 23, 2012 4:47 am

comicrage wrote:She thinks she always right and better than me.

she seems quite intelligent.

comicrage wrote:It is hard to believe that the articles say that a Narcissist can't be true friends. That is where I am now.. Your opinion and experience?

they can be dependable friends, but they have to be carefully managed and it's tedious. probably not worth your valuable time. better to simply move on, or first destroy her and then move on.
I never gave anybody hell! I just told the truth and they thought it was hell.
- Truman
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Re: Is my friend a Narcissist?

Postby Maenad » Tue Apr 24, 2012 4:22 pm

marycarterpaint wrote:
comicrage wrote:She thinks she always right and better than me.

she seems quite intelligent.

comicrage wrote:It is hard to believe that the articles say that a Narcissist can't be true friends. That is where I am now.. Your opinion and experience?

they can be dependable friends, but they have to be carefully managed and it's tedious. probably not worth your valuable time. better to simply move on, or first destroy her and then move on.



Haha, I laugh at the possibility that someone can destroy one of us NPDs(without one of us falling in love with them), we wreck havoc on those who cross us. She(the female NPD) would probably bring her back into her life then if she pissed her off again, that is when the hell would be unleashed.
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Re: Is my friend a Narcissist?

Postby marycarterpaint » Tue Apr 24, 2012 8:33 pm

Maenad wrote:Haha, I laugh at the possibility that someone can destroy one of us NPDs(without one of us falling in love with them), we wreck havoc on those who cross us.

it's trivial, simpleton. :wink:
I never gave anybody hell! I just told the truth and they thought it was hell.
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