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NPD Poll

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Re: NPD Poll

Postby lodi dodi » Sun Apr 15, 2012 11:04 pm

Why does it matter if your daughter has NPd? Are you afraid of her rage?
Do you have any trust in her that she can take care of herself.
Or are you too preoccupied with fighting against phony/#######4 things, or doing what you believe is your job?
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Re: NPD Poll

Postby thefool » Sun Apr 15, 2012 11:13 pm

lodi dodi wrote:Why does it matter if your daughter has NPd? Are you afraid of her rage?
Do you have any trust in her that she can take care of herself.
Or are you too preoccupied with fighting against phony/#######4 things, or doing what you believe is your job?



Yeah and also your daughter is her 30s isn't she ? She is old enough to take care of herself and make her own paths in life. If she is not harming you then don't worry what does constantly posting about her on here achieve ? You have been given opinions and outsider views because please do not be offended by this but you are only seeing it from one perspective here and that is your own. You may not be seeing it clearly. People here, some with experience in the industry have offered advice and information for you to think about.

What do you want from your daughter anyway ? What are you so afraid of are you willing to try and see a lot of what you believe about her could be in your head ? Nobody is a perfect person and its safe to say most people have traits of one thing or another it does not mean they are mentally ill or sick or crazy.

What you should do here is take a look at your own self if you can. Maybe if you give your daughter space you will begin to slowly see yourself and realize it is not just her and that you may have a bit of a problem here. I know it is unlikely you will admit that but the sooner you back down and see some of this...

I have no authority here and I am butting in on the NPD forum again i am probably talking out my own ass but yeah...
"what doesn't kill you makes you wish you were dead.
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Re: NPD Poll

Postby marycarterpaint » Mon Apr 16, 2012 2:42 am

Walkthroughthestorm wrote:We can help you deal with the grief of coping with the dysfunctional disordered people in your family if you feel you need this help and want to spend more money.

why are you here? you are well, you wish to be alone, what's stopping you from living the good life? just you and your cats in a house at the end of the block. no relatives, no family to disturb your peaceful tranquility.

*mod edit*
Last edited by WichitaLineman on Mon Apr 16, 2012 3:45 am, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: mcp, you strayed a little too far there....
I never gave anybody hell! I just told the truth and they thought it was hell.
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Re: NPD Poll

Postby Walkthroughthestorm » Mon Apr 16, 2012 4:25 am

marycarterpaint wrote:why are you here? you are well, you wish to be alone, what's stopping you from living the good life? just you and your cats in a house at the end of the block. no relatives, no family to disturb your peaceful tranquility.


The reason everyone is here.
It's either to learn, figure out what's going on, to help yourself or help the one you love to get back to the healthy zone.

Is anyone here happy about someone they love spun out on drugs, or anyone here happy being in a relationship where abuse is occurring? financial, emotional.
And how about if someone you care about is experiencing mental illness?

Which one's of you here would walk away from someone you love if they suddenly did a 180 turn about in personality. Would you not stick around to find out why, would you not grieve, not want to help that person back to being the loving and connected person they used to be?

Come on folks, we're not talking about a boyfriend here or some ex who's picture you can rip up and throw away. This is a Mom talking about a daughter. Mothers and daughters have a deep bond.
Nobody's daughter changes 180 degrees over night and her mother walks away. As a mother, I need to know what happened, what's wrong, why is she disconnected from soul, from love, from being the loving person we knew.

Which one of you would walk away even from your dog or cat if they were sick and leave them on some street corner to be picked up. Or walk away from a son who's on drugs and not spend one sleepless night worried.

When a member of your immediate family is sick or has become disconnected, there is no peace or tranquility. Who are you kidding?

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Re: NPD Poll

Postby marycarterpaint » Mon Apr 16, 2012 4:28 am

Walkthroughthestorm wrote:This is a Mom talking about a daughter. Mothers and daughters have a deep bond.

the more you talk, the less likely that this is actually true.

why are you really here.
I never gave anybody hell! I just told the truth and they thought it was hell.
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Re: NPD Poll

Postby BlueFlower » Mon Apr 16, 2012 4:46 am

Walkthroughthestorm wrote:As a mother, I need to know what happened


Why don't you think back to the Barbie Manifesto Package you sent. That's probably a clue.

Goddam, this thread is creepy as hell...i'm out.
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Re: NPD Poll

Postby thefool » Mon Apr 16, 2012 4:48 am

marycarterpaint wrote:
Walkthroughthestorm wrote:This is a Mom talking about a daughter. Mothers and daughters have a deep bond.

the more you talk, the less likely that this is actually true.

why are you really here.



I beg to differ... some might but not all mothers and daughters do.
"what doesn't kill you makes you wish you were dead.
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Re: NPD Poll

Postby marycarterpaint » Mon Apr 16, 2012 5:20 am

BlueFlower wrote:Goddam, this thread is creepy as hell...i'm out.

but we're just getting started. :wink:

Image


WichitaLineman wrote:*mod edit*
Reason: mcp, you strayed a little too far there....

ok, objection noted.
I never gave anybody hell! I just told the truth and they thought it was hell.
- Truman
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Re: NPD Poll

Postby Walkthroughthestorm » Mon Apr 16, 2012 5:52 am

"rebba87"]
Why does it matter if your daughter has NPd? Are you afraid of her rage?
What do you want from your daughter anyway ?


It's not a matter of being afraid of her angry, seething, degrading and chastising rages, it's a matter of putting up with the kind of abuse that eventually eats away at the very fiber of a relationship until there's nothing left.

What I want from my daughter is what anyone would want from a relationship.

1. RESPECT: the need to be heard by the other and be responded to with respect and acceptance.
2. The need to have my own view even if my daughter has hers.
3. The need to have my feelings and experience acknowledged as real.
4. The need to receive a sincere apology for anything that hurts me or causes me harm.
5. The need to have clear and informative answers to questions that concern what is legitimately my business.
6. The need to have my belongings, my work and my interests spoken of and treated with respect.
7. I have the need for encouragement.
8. The need to live free from emotional, financial or physical threat
9. The need to live free from fear of: angry outburst or rage.
10. The need to be called by no name that devalues me.
12. I need to be respectfully asked and consulted with as opposed to being "ordered" around
13. I personally have a need to place a certain amount of TRUST in the person with whom I'm in a relationship with. If you have to watch your back, it's no longer a relationship.
If you're afraid of the person you are in a relationship with for ANY reason, you can forget about trying to grow love in this toxic soil.

Relationships are based on Power With. When you are in a relationship where the other person is attempting to Power Over you, Control you, Dominate you, Subjugate you.... It's called Abuse.
Healthy relationships are based on open Communication; not on IMPOSED SILENCE and INTIMIDATION.

I don't care to be in an abusive relationship with anyone, let alone with my daughter.
I'm not about to accept abuse just to be in a relationship.
It's the abuser who'll have to take responsibility, accept accountability and give me back that loving daughter I once knew. It's not going to happen without her getting back to that state of "humility".
My daughter was once human. Today, I'm not going to accept a hologram of the person I once knew.
I'm holding out for the real deal. I need to know where my daughter's soul disappeared to and WHY it vacated.

These words don't belong in a loving relationship.

Quote, "I'm no longer responsible for your happiness, hurting you is justified, nothing personal just business" Besides, you're a Nothing a Nobody with out my voice and face. "I don't need you anymore"

In fact, I no longer want you to even derive happiness from watching me perform on stage".

Only I matter, only what I want matters, only me, my mine..

Love for you doesn't factor when it stands in the way of me getting what I want.

Helping myself to $40,000.00 of our family's business assets and two years of your work and literary material is something "owed" a child anyway, like hockey lessons.

I'm taking all the assets and the company and you can keep the $40,000.00 in loans and liabilities.

"No, I won't help you, no I won't extend any good will toward you" "No I won't share with you"

"I owe you absolutely NOTHING but love"

I've decided that I'm not happy with a piece of any pie, I want the whole dam thing!!!

Anyone who would say and do these hurtful things might eventually wake up, sober up, feel remorse and attempt to make amends. My daughter never did. She wants to continue on in our relationship as if nothing happened. She makes every attempt to CENSOR communication and SILENCE me when I want to speak. We clearly have a problem. The question is why did she go from loving to abrupt devaluation and entitlement.

Yesterday we had a loving,warm, sharing and mutually caring relationship, today I feel like I've stumbled onto the set of "The Soprano's" and can't find my way out of this nightmare.

What happened to my daughter? Where is that girl who once wrote her mom love letters of appreciation ? It feels like a tornado ripped through our lives.

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Re: NPD Poll

Postby marycarterpaint » Mon Apr 16, 2012 6:01 am

Walkthroughthestorm wrote:Yesterday we had a loving,warm, sharing and mutually caring relationship, today I feel like I've stumbled onto the set of "The Soprano's" and can't find my way out of this nightmare.

it's been thirteen years since yesterday, and your baby done all grow'd up.

Image
I never gave anybody hell! I just told the truth and they thought it was hell.
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