"rebba87"]
Why does it matter if your daughter has NPd? Are you afraid of her rage?
What do you want from your daughter anyway ?
It's not a matter of being afraid of her angry, seething, degrading and chastising rages, it's a matter of putting up with the kind of abuse that eventually eats away at the very fiber of a relationship until there's nothing left.
What I want from my daughter is what anyone would want from a relationship. 1.
RESPECT: the need to be heard by the other and be responded to with respect and acceptance.
2. The need to have my own view even if my daughter has hers.
3. The need to have my feelings and experience acknowledged as real.
4. The need to receive a sincere apology for anything that hurts me or causes me harm.
5. The need to have clear and informative answers to questions that concern what is legitimately my business.
6. The need to have my belongings, my work and my interests spoken of and treated with respect.
7. I have the need for encouragement.
8. The need to live free from emotional, financial or physical threat
9. The need to live free from fear of: angry outburst or rage.
10. The need to be called by no name that devalues me.
12. I need to be respectfully asked and consulted with as opposed to being
"ordered" around13. I personally have a need to place a certain amount of TRUST in the person with whom I'm in a relationship with. If you have to watch your back, it's no longer a relationship.
If you're afraid of the person you are in a relationship with for ANY reason, you can forget about trying to grow love in this toxic soil.
Relationships are based on
Power With. When you are in a relationship where the other person is attempting to
Power Over you,
Control you, Dominate you, Subjugate you.... It's called Abuse.
Healthy relationships are based on open Communication; not on IMPOSED SILENCE and INTIMIDATION.
I don't care to be in an abusive relationship with anyone, let alone with my daughter.
I'm not about to accept abuse just to be in a relationship.
It's the abuser who'll have to take responsibility, accept accountability and give me back that loving daughter I once knew. It's not going to happen without her getting back to that state of "humility".
My daughter was once human. Today, I'm not going to accept a hologram of the person I once knew.
I'm holding out for the real deal. I need to know where my daughter's soul disappeared to and WHY it vacated.
These words don't belong in a loving relationship. Quote, "I'm no longer responsible for your happiness,
hurting you is justified,
nothing personal just business" Besides, you're a Nothing a Nobody with out my voice and face. "I don't need you anymore"
In fact, I no longer want you to even derive happiness from watching me perform on stage".
Only I matter, only what I want matters, only me, my mine..
Love for you doesn't factor when it stands in the way of me getting what I want.
Helping myself to $40,000.00 of our family's business assets and two years of your work and literary material is something
"owed" a child anyway, like hockey lessons.
I'm taking all the assets and the company and you can keep the $40,000.00 in loans and liabilities.
"No, I won't help you, no I won't extend any good will toward you" "No I won't share with you"
"I owe you absolutely NOTHING but love"
I've decided that I'm not happy with a piece of any pie, I want the whole dam thing!!!
Anyone who would say and do these hurtful things might eventually wake up, sober up, feel remorse and attempt to make amends. My daughter never did. She wants to continue on in our relationship as if nothing happened. She makes every attempt to CENSOR communication and SILENCE me when I want to speak. We clearly have a problem. The question is why did she go from loving to abrupt devaluation and entitlement.
Yesterday we had a loving,warm, sharing and mutually caring relationship, today I feel like I've stumbled onto the set of "The Soprano's" and can't find my way out of this nightmare.
What happened to my daughter? Where is that girl who once wrote her mom love letters of appreciation ? It feels like a tornado ripped through our lives.
Mother of 2