littlewing wrote:So would you say you're a willing source of supply? I'm fascinated by the combination of schizoid/narcissist. It would be sort of like two narcissists together, but with less power struggles and competition. Hmmmm. I think I need to read up more on schizoid personality disorder.
"Two narcissists together" describes it very well. I think you hit the nail on the head.
I'm not sure what proportion of AvPD to schizoid I have, but according to Vaknin's website I fit the profile of inverted narcissist rather well. Since my ego is either absent or sequestered somewhere too deeply, I don't respond with aggression to Ns devaluing comments. Neither do I try to put them down when they start boasting as I've noticed is the reaction of many nons (provided their narcissism is on the level I can tolerate). But at the same time I am not emotionally needy or expressive. My N ex complained several times that I need to be more jealous of him when he is flirting with other people. I have re-enacted the emotion for him several times, but the feeling isn't real. Faking and displaying emotions I don't have is draining and repulsive to me, which is where they decide that I'm not that good of an NS. Emotionally I am very autonomous (as well as financially). My N ex at first was delighted at this level of self-sufficiency and lack of demands, but over time he devalued me as NS exactly for the same reason.
BlueFlower wrote:Should read:
"I am the perfect source of NS, until he decides that I'm not."
(No reasons necessary!)
lol so very true
From my conversations with two Ns I've gathered that the kind of partner that they are looking for has to have talents/abilities/traits that are not compatible within the same person. They are looking for something that is unreal, which is why they are never satisfied in any real relationship.