Narcissitic Mother

Hello this is my first time posting on here and was wandering if there was anybody out there that could possibly have any advice for my situation. Anything would be greatly apprecaited. Im going to try to make this short as possible. Im a 23 yr old female and my mother is narcissitic, paranoid along with many other things. When I was younger my mom put me through hell and back both physically and mentaly, more mentaly though. She was very cold and showed no emotion what so ever unless it was anger which I saw alot of because she expected me to act, think and be an adult starting at the age of 5. My parents are divorced and i saw my dad every other weekend which was so nice to have to escape from her for those 3 days. Well she kidnapped me when I was 11 and it took 2 years for my dad to find me. When he found he got custody of me. She did some crazy things for awhile after that till my dad got a restraining order on her till I turned 18. Well she some how found me when I was 18 and I talked to her for a few days till she told me she was psychic and then the mental abuse started coming again and I quit talking to her. Well now 5 years later she got ahold of me and things are alot different with her. She seems different alot more nice, she actually wants to know how I feel. Shes a little pushy still but I will never let my gaurd down again with her.She also said she has talked with some people about things that have happened in her life. I just dont know what to do about the whole thing I feel so emotionaly drained and we have only been talking for a week. I just dont know what to or if what i feel is right. I am truley lost when it comes to this.

Hello.

Your feeling emotionally drained is your cue that things still aren't "right" with your mother; and probably will never be. Her being nice and caring to you, is her attempt to lure you back into a cycle of high drama and manipulative mind games. Beware. Her abuse will not stop until you remove yourself out of the equation. You father was wise to get a restraining order---but now it is up to YOU to protect yourself from your mother's mental illness. I realize you must long for your mother's love--and that is understandable. But it sounds as though you have that love from your father, while your mother offers nothing except toxicity and turmoil.

n my experience, people get worse not better and you're old enough now to protect yourself and take responsibilty for the type of people you allow into your life.

Thank you so much for responding. I really just want to cut ties and her be out of my life forever, but she brought my 10 year old brother into all of this, which of course complicates everything. She keeps trying to give me large amount of money and gifts. We have only been talking for a few days and she already wants to move out here with me. She said she wants her family together. She wants her and I to bond and have a relationship. I just dont feel like I should have to support her emotionally shes an adult shes in control of her own happiness. I mean how do I set boundries with her in a way that she can understand.

Typical N; everything is about what "she wants." You can tell her, that you have moved on...you are independent now; not interested in family drama and chaos. Your wounds from her self-absorption run too deep, and she needs to respect your feelings and not push for a relationship. If you set boundaries now, and she doesn't like it, too bad. Imagine how hard it would be; trying to set boundaries with her living near you...it would be restraining orders again, and she could stalk or harm you. It's not worth it. Tell her she has done enough damage, and needs to respect you as an adult.

Sorry she is using your little brother to get to you.

Thanks again for replying, I really dread the phone conversation not for me but for her. I really dont want to hurt her and I know it will I have had this conversation before with my step mother who is not full blown NPD but has alot of traits. I just want my mom to find happiness in life and peace with herself.

Good advice from BlueFlower,
I know you worry about hurting her, but don't, she is an adult it is not your responsibility to make her happy.
Money and gifts are just to trap you, make you feel obliged to her.
You owe her nothing. Keep your boundaries do not let her in. These people are emotional vampires.
You say you don't know what is 'right'. It is right for you to protect yourself and your family from this person. Say NO to any attempt of hers to sneak her way into your life, she will be destructive they don't change, I wish they did.
I am sorry your 10 year old brother is involved in this.