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How do you break this mindset?

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How do you break this mindset?

Postby SniffTheNarc » Sat Dec 24, 2011 11:19 pm

It's ridiculous the way I think. For example, I'll be driving and I may see a car stopping to the right of me at a stop sign, waiting for me since I have the right of way. I'll think in my head that they're stopping because they recognize me or something. Or I may wonder if they're stopping because they know me or something to that effect. I know it's illogical but I can't help wondering if they notice me or are checking me out. LOL

I feel like hey, they probably are. Maybe they see how cool and good looking I am. It's like some kind of extreme arrogance or superior feeling that I constantly have around people and it's getting really bad lol. I don't feel like I'm losing touch with reality but I feel like this $#%^ is taking over.

And then let's say I see a woman or something glancing over at me. I may say that shes glancing because shes interested in me 100%, she thinks I'm good looking, etc. I also frequently have stare-down matches with women in public and I don't know why that is. If I see a guy looking at me I automatically think he wants to be like me. I mean is this normal or...? What do people think when they see someone looking at them in public?
deepwater2011 wrote:Sniff is always right, from what I have read so far in different posts.

^A wise woman has spoken. Silence, mortals.^
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Re: How do you break this mindset?

Postby funky » Sun Dec 25, 2011 12:14 am

Sniff - merry christmas! You're the first person I've spoken to on christmas day - it's quarter past midnight here. Anyway, yes, I can identify with what you've written. I could give you some ridiculous examples - in my mind, everything that happens around me is caused by me. Everybody is either looking at me admiringly, or doing whatever they're doing to catch my attention. (Slight exaggeration, but not much.) It's ridiculous, but absolutely built into me. Now that I know that I do it, I know that it's almost never true, but my intellect can't overrule my instincts.
Off to bed, before father christmas comes down the chimney. If he does, it'll only be because he fancies me.
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Re: How do you break this mindset?

Postby SniffTheNarc » Sun Dec 25, 2011 4:48 am

Hey funky what's up my friend? I get what you mean about thinking everything everyone does is to attract attention from you. I tend to get that to very badly. Sometimes, before i was aware of this behavior, I'd be baffled if I went up and tried to talk and they seemed disinterested.
deepwater2011 wrote:Sniff is always right, from what I have read so far in different posts.

^A wise woman has spoken. Silence, mortals.^
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Re: How do you break this mindset?

Postby funky » Wed Dec 28, 2011 6:50 am

Sniff, I think that that may be about more than your narcissism. I read that men are wired to believe that women find them more attractive than they actually do, in order to propagate the species, basically. (You know, so that they aren't too easily dissuaded.) Don't be fooled by smiling. A bloke will apparently think that a woman who smiles at him must fancy him, whereas she's just being polite. (Or, in my case, automatically flirty.) Mind you, don't think that a woman who doesn't smile at you must fancy you, either!
Perhaps you could look up some advice on body language and how to interpret it.
As for your original question - I'm still working on breaking this mindset, and I'm about 30 years older than you! Mind you, I only became aware of how ridiculous it was in the last couple of years. I mean, everybody around me is doing stuff because they fancy me?! I now actually look at people, to see if they are watching me, and they very rarely are. On the other hand, I have been told that I attract attention, so I suppose it's just a matter of degree, like everyone else. It brings me back down to earth when I look at other females who are much younger and more attractive than me.
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Re: How do you break this mindset?

Postby SBBro » Thu Dec 29, 2011 9:41 am

You recognise it as illogical which is good, its not an unhealthy mindset as long as your (healthy) narcissism isn't interfering with your interpersonal relationships.
Its worse to have little healthy narcissism than a good dose as it allows you to have confidence in yourself and achieve more, I wouldn't try to get rid of it or create negative thinking.

Has something been getting you down lately??
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Re: How do you break this mindset?

Postby SniffTheNarc » Thu Dec 29, 2011 2:31 pm

SBBro wrote:
Has something been getting you down lately??


Why do you ask? :o
deepwater2011 wrote:Sniff is always right, from what I have read so far in different posts.

^A wise woman has spoken. Silence, mortals.^
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Re: How do you break this mindset?

Postby HappyBusyFun » Thu Dec 29, 2011 3:20 pm

If I see a guy looking at me I automatically think he wants to be like me. I mean is this normal or...? What do people think when they see someone looking at them in public?


There may be a fundamental difference here between men and women.

Most women are hard wired the other way - so if they see someone looking at them will think "do I look fat? have I got spinach between my teeth?" etc - ie. some negative reason that takes them out of the norm to attract a look.

There are exceptions though - so if a man is very obviously checking you ( as a woman) out in a sexual way then that's a different thing and easily identifiable as positive attention. But in the abstract someone just looking in a "normal" way without any over indication of positivity or negativity, I think most normal women will assume something negative and look for that.

You ask "how do I break this mindset?" - I know it's slightly delusional but isn't it a nice delusion to have? to always think people want to look like you/be like you/want to sleep with you? Why would you want to break that mindset?

I wish I thought like that. It must be a nice place to be cocooned in - always thinking people are looking for excessively positive reasons. Personally, I'd embrace it and enjoy it.
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Re: How do you break this mindset?

Postby SBBro » Thu Dec 29, 2011 5:11 pm

SniffTheNarc wrote:
SBBro wrote:
Has something been getting you down lately??


Why do you ask? :o


Well I havent read your other posts so I could be wrong but I dont think so. Full blown Ns dont care they are N, you seem to care, it also shouldnt be bothering you that much unless something else is getting you down, if it is then keep your chin up.
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Re: How do you break this mindset?

Postby SniffTheNarc » Thu Dec 29, 2011 8:46 pm

Well I havent read your other posts so I could be wrong but I dont think so.


I didn't say you read through my post history. If you did tho, it wouldn't be a problem.

SBBro wrote: Full blown Ns dont care they are N, you seem to care, it also shouldnt be bothering you that much unless something else is getting you down, if it is then keep your chin up.


Ok.
deepwater2011 wrote:Sniff is always right, from what I have read so far in different posts.

^A wise woman has spoken. Silence, mortals.^
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