Hi Blue Flower,
I just saw your post.
They are my immediate family, and I do feel love for them most of the time.
I went 5 years without seeing them. I changed myself, got over the hurt and anger, I think that's why Ueler saw me the way he did.
There's a nicer, more fun world out there, relationships can be good & life more fun when this narc crap is dealt with, whether the giver or reciever.
It really makes me angry when people talk & laugh about them behind thier backs, and I wanted to defend them.
I invited them over for Christmas, the one who had came over for Thanksgiving, would only come over on Christmas eve at noon, and she brought her own food & made sure I understood that she was only going to stay 1-1/2 hrs etc. She ended up staying 3 hrs. and she seemed to have fun. When she did speak, I gave her my undivided attention and showed alot of interest in what she was saying, she seemed very uneasy and would cross and rub here arms, almost shy like. It seems a N would love this type of attention. Thoughts?
My mother would only come over Christmas day because my aunt who was here C. eve was having Christmas day with thier brother, who my mother doesn't like, that is why she came to my house. She made sure I knew that. She immediately sat in front of the TV and that's all we did all day. No social interaction whatsoever. Any type of conversation had to do with the show or the volume. Then it started getting dark and she left.
I used to take all this personal,but not anymore, they act like this with everyone.
Thier bro. my uncle, won't come to my house because he doesn't like the fact that my son likes a certain football team and has long hair. His daughter won't aknowledge him as her father.
I could still let all this hurt me, and try to fix everything, but ###$ it, forget it, its over. I managed not to get drunk and worry about it, or have a "why me, what lottery in hell did I win to have this family" pity party.
I was always looking for the big happy family I would see on TV or in the movies. Those were the ones I wanted to prove I was worthy & a good person, mostly I wanted to prove I was loving & caring.
I have a question, why do Narcissists refuse to engage in social gossip?