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Under New Management

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Under New Management

Postby SmileXx » Fri Nov 11, 2011 4:59 pm

It would seem the board is happy. Thus, I will leave it alone.

-SmileXx
crimsonandclover wrote:Sometimes the greatest source is from within. And accepting whats in there.

veloruia wrote:We all have a bit of Smile in us.

onebravegirl wrote:Shine on and Smile on my beautiful 2D pal.


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Re: Under New Management

Postby Friggle » Fri Nov 11, 2011 7:52 pm

Are you guys preventing conflict, or protecting feelings?
I like when the nons come in and complain. It adds to discussion.
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Re: Under New Management

Postby SmileXx » Fri Nov 11, 2011 8:01 pm

Conflict is inevitable, and I have rarely heard of a NPD with hurt feelings.
Essentially the movement is to give the board back to the NPD users.
Nons are still welcome, quite wholeheartedly, but the board is first and foremost for those with NPD, and only secondly for the Nons.
crimsonandclover wrote:Sometimes the greatest source is from within. And accepting whats in there.

veloruia wrote:We all have a bit of Smile in us.

onebravegirl wrote:Shine on and Smile on my beautiful 2D pal.


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Re: Under New Management

Postby narcbolan » Sat Nov 12, 2011 1:27 am

Nah, thats a load of rubbish mate, and I'm a narc. It should be equal. I totally agree with Friggle, the real communication happens when the two agendas mix or clash. Thats where the potential for real identification, learning and understanding is. Giving the board back to those with NPD is the most ridiculous idea, nothing will happen. It'll be like a football match where all the players have a ball each and are just running round the pitch. We need the feedback, and so do the nons.

I do see what you're trying to do but you're completely off beam, you seriously need to take a step back and re-think that. Or maybe not, suit yerself.

But if thats the way the board is going under your new moderation I definitely don't feel like posting on here anymore.
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Re: Under New Management

Postby SmileXx » Sat Nov 12, 2011 7:05 pm

If you prefer it this way, I won't change a thing.

We've been reforming other PD boards that were being overrun with Nons and the PDers were unhappy.

I don't really care about reforming the board if you're happy. I have other things I could do, instead.

Consider this null and void.
crimsonandclover wrote:Sometimes the greatest source is from within. And accepting whats in there.

veloruia wrote:We all have a bit of Smile in us.

onebravegirl wrote:Shine on and Smile on my beautiful 2D pal.


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Re: Under New Management

Postby Friggle » Sat Nov 12, 2011 7:33 pm

If you prefer it this way, I won't change a thing.

We've been reforming other PD boards that were being overrun with Nons and the PDers were unhappy.


Thats good. I don't understand why they get so upset. None of it really got that serious, lol


I don't really care about reforming the board if you're happy. I have other things I could do, instead.

Consider this null and void.


Cool. Leave it as is.
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Re: Under New Management

Postby SmileXx » Sat Nov 12, 2011 9:01 pm

Not everyone is as tough as you Narcs. ^_^

If ya'll need anything, let me know.
Be happy to help as needed.

-SmileXx
crimsonandclover wrote:Sometimes the greatest source is from within. And accepting whats in there.

veloruia wrote:We all have a bit of Smile in us.

onebravegirl wrote:Shine on and Smile on my beautiful 2D pal.


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Re: Under New Management

Postby narcbolan » Sun Nov 13, 2011 12:48 am

And therein lies part of the problem and one of the ways in which we get misunderstood, albeit understandably so!

Don't be fooled SmileXx-- we're not tough at all. We have a tough shell that most of the time even we can't penetrate, but it's only a shell.

We attack cos we can feel defensive very easily, we feign cold, hard, smart-alec indifference to conceal our awkwardness even from ourselves, and we push our difficult emotions on to others cos we cant handle them, and most of the time, even those of us who have been in recovery for nearly ten years still can't fully control it.

This is why we need the feedback and the exchange of ideas, it's where we vary from other PD's, we're not openly raw, only internally, and even then , it's frozen most of the time.

But thanks for responding and changing your mind, I think it'll work out better.
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Re: Under New Management

Postby SmileXx » Sun Nov 13, 2011 12:54 am

I'm no unfamiliar with NPD.
Rather oddly acquainted.

I simply meant that you all seem to handle yourselves here well.

Again, if you have any problems here, please let me know.
crimsonandclover wrote:Sometimes the greatest source is from within. And accepting whats in there.

veloruia wrote:We all have a bit of Smile in us.

onebravegirl wrote:Shine on and Smile on my beautiful 2D pal.


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Re: Under New Management

Postby LifeSong » Sun Nov 13, 2011 2:00 am

I appreciate your flexibility, Smilexx.

This NPD forum has long been a relatively healthy mix of Nons and NPD'ers.
The Nons generally are respectful of others, while at the same time challenging of some of the statements/positions held by narcissistic members.
The narcissistic members generally tell the truth about their behaviors and ways of thinking.
It isn't often that I've seen the two groups attack each other or generate a dysfunctional atmosphere.
When that seems to be happening, there are usually members who step into the discussion and add their perspectives and things settle down.
This forum does a good job, I think, of self-regulating.

For me, it is a refreshing change from sooo many of the other "NPD victim" boards where members are encouraged to remain in their angry victimized state by a never-ending exchange of tales of woe without moving eventually away from 'them' (ie. "my" narcissist) and putting their attention onto themselves to heal and grow. Here, I often see narcissists facilitating a Nons own healing, even if it is simply to reiterate the truth about how someone with NPD sees the situation.

For me, the value of Psychforums is the interplay between those with the condition/disorder themselves, and those who are trying to understand the disorder. Both sets of people are usually also trying to understand themselves as well.

I really appreciate that I can put up a thread titled "NPD Mother", for example, and not have the narcissists tear it to pieces here. Infact, not only do they not do that, some even learn about themselves or about how some aspect of their behavior might be similar to what the Nons are describing, and they post to chime in and agree, or disagree, or explain, or clarify, or call us on our overgeneralizations, etc.

I don't like what I see happening in some of the other Cluster B forums, where one group or the other is lobbying to segregate the other group into a few designated threads. To me, the value of Psychforums in reduced in those forums.

Those who cannot play nice here will also have difficulty playing nice in their real lives.
These forums are places to learn how to do that better... for both Nons and PD'ed folks.

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