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Not knowing when your right and when it's your narcissism

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Not knowing when your right and when it's your narcissism

Postby bikeboy12 » Mon Jul 18, 2011 11:24 pm

as i Have expressed before, i get a lot of trouble with rage. i get very annoyed at certain things the 'close' people in my life do, and i am always in the right. i want to rage at them, yell at them, perhaps be violent, and i feel i am completely right and justified. no matter how much i try to think logically and tell myself i'm not right, at the end of it i still think i am.

its something i can't control: knowing when i'm truely in the right and when its just my narcissism telling me i am. it's ######6 annoying.
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Re: Not knowing when your right and when it's your narcissis

Postby seanetal » Tue Jul 19, 2011 4:29 am

Just saw Bruce Almighty again recently so it's fresh in my memory.

The scene when Bruce is messing with the teleprompter and has his rival saying a bunch of gibberish. The best line is "My tiny little nipples went to France."

I also love the movie The Jerk when he is leaving... "this is all I need!"
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Re: Not knowing when your right and when it's your narcissis

Postby OneLiner » Tue Jul 19, 2011 6:47 am

Maybe you need to talk more with those people and respect their opinion?
If you only justify yourself in your head without trying to understand the other side or dismissing it completely, and you rage because of that, then it is a sure sign of narcissism, IMO.
In fact, rage in itself is enough of an indicator in most cases that deal with relationships.
I desired love and fellowship, and I was still spurned. Was there no injustice in this? Am I to be thought the only criminal, when all humankind sinned against me?
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Re: Not knowing when your right and when it's your narcissis

Postby narcbolan » Tue Jul 19, 2011 9:46 am

Hi Bikeboy,

speaking from the point of view of one who is 8 years into recovery, it's actually fairly straightforward.
If you are raging, or if you feel rage inside, you simply do not have right on your side.

It is your personality disorder distorting your defences against an imagined trigger. I say that because you said that it's those close to you that trigger it.

Once you start to look into the roots and causes of that rage and make internal connections between that and your behaviour it will become easier to control and as a result you will have much more clarity.

Think of your personality disorder as your damaged inner child. You are the only one who can re-parent yourself. This is pretty good way of visualising and it can help to keep PD's in the conscious mind rather than buried in the unconscious where it's harder to recognise and control.

I know i make it sound easier than it probably is for you, but you have to be a little patient cos it takes a long time.
Everything is happening.
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Re: Not knowing when your right and when it's your narcissis

Postby realitycheque » Tue Jul 19, 2011 12:43 pm

Bikeboy, see if you can wrap your head around this idea: Knowing You Are Right = Narcissism. It is not a case of one or the other, as they are the same.

One of the 10 Cognitive Distortions is "Black-and-White Thinking". The concept of 'Right' and 'Wrong' is one aspect of this primitive type of thinking. Humans have evolved in a way that has enabled them to think in "Shades of Gray", and that ability is primarily due to a larger pre-frontal cortex that allows expanded reasoning skills to develop. Those with Cluster B PDs, which include NPD, have difficulty in maintaining adequate activity in their PFCs. Stimulants, both chemical and physiological, promote better PFC functioning for those individuals.

So basically you are self-medicating when your PFC has trouble receiving and processing a external input that is contradictory to your current way of thinking. The problem is, the raging is a maladaptive means of PFC stimulation, and it hurts your close relationships since others (Nons) do not need that kind of stimulation and grow resentful of your boorish behavior.

The better means of dealing with such occurrences is to accept that there is no 'Right' and 'Wrong', and to train yourself (probably with assistance from a therapist through CBT) how to alter your Black-and-White Thinking into Shades of Gray Thinking. It will lessen the importance you place on trivial issues (e.g., everyday annoyances) and help you to view the others' perspectives, even if you cannot directly relate to them (because of lowered empathy, another PFC-based problem for NPDers).
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