In my experience most do. My NM hated me, enjoyed it had many a laugh at my expense. I fell down stairs (as a child) distressed & shook up no comfort, instead she smiled. A nasty little smirk would play on her lips. She taught her dog to bite me, she would give him a cuddle & whisper conspiratorially in his doggy ear 'we don't like her do we
' The dog thought it was a good idea to bite little girls as this would please NM.
Bit a neighbors little girl in the end she hadn't done anything, just stood there he bit her on the leg. Had to be put down.
I'm sure she only kept me there for someone to hate & use as scapegoat so nothing was her fault. 7 years old and EVERYTHING was MY fault. Nice mommie. The distress she cause me was her bread & butter she fed on it.
Some people give birth to their own victims.
Ex narc husband enjoyed being spiteful. Disruption, gaslighting, trouble making, lying, pitting people against each other, then stand back and watch the fireworks. OH JOY, and all the time they watch with a sweet innocent demeanor.
They get bored easy and sooooo like a drama. As they possess no empathy what do care if anyone gets hurt?
The narcs I know thrive on hate. Thats why often the only way to cope with a Narc family is to move right away and have no contact. They make awful parents and are very toxic especially to those closest to them.
Their outside persona can often be well liked. Sigh.
Is it a successful strategy on life?
Well sadly it can be, many successful business men are narcissists or sub-criminal psychopaths. The sub criminal psychopath who I know and who lives near me is a millionaire. With no empathy he can ruthlessly deal with anyone who gets in his way. He threatens or harasses people if they owe him money, they pay up just to get rid of him. And hes clever. Narcs & Psychos can 'play people' .
I'm soft, I've been used and bullied. I would have been happier as a sub criminal psycho, maybe like my happy, oblivious narc 'mother'. Don't like to say it but being 'nice' has done me NO F#####G GOOD AT ALL shame ain't it, wish it wasn't true.
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.