drippy narcissism

My observation is that people who act very childishly as adults are often still connected in some unhealthy way to their parent(s). The unhealthy connection usually started in childhood. Individuation, moving away from mom or dad into separated adulthood didn't happen or didn't completely happen. Does this ring true for you at all, gwyn?

OneLiner, sounds like you might be at home as some type of monk. I admire the contemplative lifestyle.

LifeSong wrote:OneLiner, sounds like you might be at home as some type of monk. I admire the contemplative lifestyle.

Hermit. I am eremetic. Monks are cenobites and do not like eremetics. I tried the monk lifestyle, but I took 50 pounds. I am slowly regaining my svelte waist-line now.
There certainly is something about not disconnecting from my mother, with which I had some mild form of incestuous relationship (I am the embodiment of Oedipus). It affects interpersonal relationships, because I internalized a guilt about having emotions. I also was guilty of moving stuff around, or even existing. So my life is as ghost-like as it can.
But even knowing all that, there is still a lack of discipline that is not really solvable. Not only do I lack the conditioning, but also the knowledge of what to do. Lack of father figure.

I've noticed this trait in my NH although I don't see it a childish. He will misinterpet the meaning of what people say or re-tell a story in a way which never happend. Even when confronted with witnesses he will stand by his version. It is almost like a form of Autism. He does not pick up on the verbal or visiual clues that a conversation is over or some one is not happy. This behavior I think is linked to the treads about narcs and a warped sense of time.

edited.

heh, 'drippy'? yeah, very much so. People have commented that I seem to be dreaming a lot or living in my own world. Most recently, at work. A workmate gives me $#%^ about it, which i find quite annoying, naturally, but i know he's right in a way. I'd be pissed off if i worked with me as well. I don't pay attention to the reality around me cause I'm too busy listening to my AMAZING self yeah right. In reality I'm aloof, lethargic and somewhat detached. Also i think it comes across as selfishness and self obsession because even though i act like i listen to other people, unless im interested in what they're saying, i really don't make the effort... and dont really care so its hard to make the effort

anyway, yeah, this is relevant for me. i've been called 'lost' and generally daydreamy for a long time now, and I think it's cause i tend to be more involved with myself than the world. ie. my narcissism. which sucks.

and yeah, a lack of common sense as well. i can relate to the last post by gwyn as well. i finished school and started my second job to find that i was quite $#%^ at doing basic tasks like mopping the floor (lol)

edited.

Totally Gwyn - I'm dreading the day I have to get a 'real' job, because I'd be so damn incompetent at it (despite my head thinking "yeah i'll be a brilliant teacher", stupid grandoise ) and haven't been able to keep my sights on one particular job - from dietician to geography teacher (with lots of other unrelated careers in between). Interesting stuff of the incestuous relationships though; a look at my internet history would be suffice to justify how I feel about it, especially with parents (but even thinking about it makes me feel dirty and horrible).

Mad_World - yeah, just yeah. I'm the same, I try to make an effort but I just can't - it's like a continuous cycle which can't be stopped.


Hurry up you proven treatment for narcissism.. I just want to be normal.

gwyn wrote:lack common sense - I often mistake the meaning of what people say, or mishear it; I've even visually interpreted a picture as being of something it's not.

I wouldn't say I "lack common sense", but I do completely misinterpret things people say (and then will give them a nonsensical response because I'm talking about something else). I'm also forgetful in the extreme - not just in-one-ear-out-the-other, but also just in daily life things. Never know where my keys are, can't keep track of appointments for crap, put the cereal in the fridge and the milk in the cabinet.

(I don't mean in the sense of that man described in the book, "The man who mistook his wife for a hat.")

Fab book, by the way.

I'm now seen as endearingly dippy and absent minded. So, other narcissists (or 'trait-ers') reading this, are any of you seen as incompetent or dozy/drippy/living in your own universe?

People think I'm a complete blockhead. Or more often, they'll seem me as "so-smart-I'm-dumb", you know, the typical genius that can't tie their shoes sort of thing. Generally they just think I'm a space cadet with no attention span - which is true.

Gwyn, you probably do the same thing I do, which is joke in a self-depreciating manner to mask when you're upset when they insult your intelligence. This probably makes you seem "drippy", especially if you're very feminine, perhaps?

tomster wrote:Totally Gwyn - I'm dreading the day I have to get a 'real' job, because I'd be so damn incompetent at it (despite my head thinking "yeah i'll be a brilliant teacher", stupid grandoise ) and haven't been able to keep my sights on one particular job - from dietician to geography teacher (with lots of other unrelated careers in between). Interesting stuff of the incestuous relationships though; a look at my internet history would be suffice to justify how I feel about it, especially with parents (but even thinking about it makes me feel dirty and horrible).

Mad_World - yeah, just yeah. I'm the same, I try to make an effort but I just can't - it's like a continuous cycle which can't be stopped.


Hurry up you proven treatment for narcissism.. I just want to be normal.

hahaha yeah you pretty much summed up my thoughts on the matter as well. the good thing is though that knowing what's going on really helps. before researching about NPD, BPD etc it was like fumbling in the dark to explain the different emotions and feelings, but now i can sorta explain the unconscious motives and feelings behind the conscious ones. without reading up on narcissism it would've taken me a lifetime to figure out that i was actually quite selfish (before I thought that there was no way i could be selfish... selfish people were, in my view, those that were proud of themselves and that had a decent, functioning ego. hahaha).

oh ho ho, and sometimes i think, is this how it's meant to play out? just reliving the tragedies of my parents? if i only do one thing differently to them it's that i want to rid myself as much as possible of this unhealthy narcissism, so that i can be a healthy functioning adult

anyway, yeah. sorta triggering and in a very weird mood tonight.
i'd really love a proven treatment as well. it's so frustrating wanting to do something but literally not being able to. wanting to change myself, and change my situation but finding it really hard to make that change. usually just slip back into old routines, or trick myself into thinking things have changed when really im still the same.

Dad - well, there, some sort of unspoken, almost emotionally incestuous feelings, perhaps - there was always some sort of unspoken tension there.

Ditto this, gwyn. It was never sexual with my father, but I was meant to be there for his emotional upkeep and intimacy - it was inappropriate at best. A surrogate wife of sorts, because he couldn't emotionally relate to adults. It's even called "emotional incest" in the Lit, and it's proven to extremely damaging.

However, I don't think this "lack of common sense" has anything at all to do with being "childish".