MMonroe wrote:I hope you guys still let me come on this forum being that I'm a Narc but not an NPD'er!
It's all levels of the same thing, so it's all relevant.
Did you get formally diagnosed? How would you put your empathy, remorse, sympathy on a scale of 1-10? I'm curious to know where you fall. Are you NPD or simply a Narc?
Sort of. I've got a PDNOS diagnosis (among other things). I think that...they are trying NOT to diagnose me with NPD, stigma and all. However, I seem to be a clone of all the other narcs here, lol. I'm most definitely NPD. I have almost no functional empathy, except what I've taught myself through analytical "research". (It's called cognitive empathy.) I only feel remorse if I get caught effing something up (and then I'm quick to shunt the feeling onto someone else). I don't have the angry-outlash or sadistic tendencies some others do, but if I felt that it was worth it and I could get away with it, I'd probably do just about anything.
I do agree that a lot of what I feel is probably not remorse but rather shame. Shame is something that projected onto you by society, am I correct? It's the feeling that I SHOULD be feeling something for people that is killing me inside. Because by society's standards I'm supposed to cry for my cousin that died of cancer. So I feel ashamed that I didn't care.
But, the sad thing is its not really accepted as anything similar to Bipolar or any other mental disorder.
Ha, I was JUST talking to my case manager about this today. I'm lucky to live in a US State where PD's are taken seriously (Borderline in particular), but there are many areas they are just...well, mistreated. (Here, the state can in-patient you involuntarily for Sz, BP, OCD, EDs, and BPD. I've also got an eating disorder and OCD, so it's actually a relief to know that if I ever go bonkers they'll stick me where I belong.)
The next version of the DSM, they are removing the concept of Axis 1 versus 2, in order to remove some of the stigma against PD's.
That said, do you believe that severe narcissism is a disorder?
Outside of NPD, then no, I wouldn't call it a "disorder". Unhealthy, yes. A problem, yes. But if there is an aspect of your personality that you dislike and is unhealthy to you, you DO have the power to change it, given time and effort. This has been proven by many others in the past. So don't despair there.
(As a side note, I actually think everything is "curable", including NPD, even if we just haven't found the proper treatment for it yet. Remember, ten years ago BPD was considered incurable, too. Now it's considered extremely treatable because we have better tools. On a more personal note, there are Narcissists on this board who have made some excellent progress on their own.)
However, I want to pause a sec here -- don't take anything I say as ultimate truth, even if I state it as such. NPD or not, I'm still just some schmo on the internets, remember?
I may act like I know everything, but I don't, lol.