did I get your attention?
so i wanted to date after my January break-up with my ex-N but was nervous. I just threw my hat back in the ring and have met two nice, good, funny, sexy men. and i'll 'fess up, after starting dating and particularly after starting to have sex again, it is remarkable how little I think about my ex-N and how much happier I feel getitng out there and relating to men again, and not dwelling on what I did or didn't have with my ex-N. I don't think about him almost ever, and when I do it is with tremendous distance.
Meeting, laughing, enjoying and yes sleeping with another man has helped me slingshot back into my own life, not the life I had in which the me that I liked was disappearing before my eyes with my ex-N. It feels good to be with a normal, nice, thoughtful person, and a really healthy reminder of how many things I'd put up with that are just not ok.
No idea whether there are legs to this thing with the man I'm into, but it's also nice not to even worry about that. A couple of weeks in my ex-N was hugely possessive and making plans and needing total commitment or else he felt rejected. Messed up. While I admit that was flattering, the regular flow of dating feels really nice by comparison.
So ladies and gents, the sex makes the ex seem way way more distant Not that I'd advocate finding someone to screw as a WAY to feel better -- had I done this a couple months ago before I felt better about myself I probably would have been a big fat mess -- but just sayin, it's a plus )