AndyForAwesome wrote:Oh, looks like I don't understand narcissism as much as I thought I did then.
Well, I know I'm a narcissist. I think. And I do believe narcissists hurt people for gratification. They must do, obviously. Why would I then, if they don't? And honestly I can't understand why you think narcissists are in control of themselves, a lot of their actions are based on extreme emotions like rage. What do you mean? I can't understand you.
Only you can answer that question that you asked, no one else. Do you hurt people for gratification? Ask yourself why? Keep asking and keep digging deeper, see what you come up with, it may interest you. Try not to settle with the easiest answer as well, be honest with yourself, only you know the answers.
The definition of NPD doesn't include hurting people for gratification, it includes seeking admiration. What I thought you meant when you said people with NPD hurt others is that because they use other people for supply, they may end up hurting them by being unaware of their feelings. But that doesn't mean they actively seek to hurt others, just that they're misguided. That's just my interpretation of it.
But you raise a good point with the rage thing. I think they're more misguided than anything, they're still in control of themselves but their disordered emotions and personality dominates what they do in life. So rather than doing something productive that'll help others and themselves in the long run, they'll chase narcissistic supply (admiration from others) which is pretty shallow and short lived.
It's the same with most normal people, but they have a healthy sense of self. So they aren't as disturbed by emotions of anger and jealousy every time they see someone who's happy or every time someone criticises them. But they probably couldn't explain exactly why they do the things they do with 100% accuracy, they just do them and it makes them feel good, and because they're more attuned to reality they do things that are more meaningful than what the narcissist does. So they know that admiration from others is shallow and vain and doesn't bring lasting happiness, so they go for relationships that include love, support and nurturance.
And I can't understand myself either, that's why I'm here, I'm trying to understand more
And look who just turned up, unreal!
AndyForAwesome wrote:And to answer your last question, I've seen enough proof on the ASPD forum of blatant narcissists trying to get attention in claiming that they are psychopathic/sociopathic, honest, it's real. I would go link some for you if you want, if I can be bothered. But if you really insist : ))))
Ahahaha. Oh that explains it though. But I have no idea why they'd think being antisocial is cooler than being narcissistic, people think all sorts of strange things... psychopathy includes the element of narcissism anyway, so maybe they're just getting mixed up in what they think they are
AndyForAwesome wrote:I'm a narcissist because I'm very selfish? I enjoy manipulating people.
Or maybe I'm a 'malignant' narcissist then, but you don't seem to think so. What do you think I am then if you're so clever : )
I think you're a person, mate. Focus on being a better person first of all. The labels are helpful but they aren't magic, they're meant to be tools used by professionals to help people.
I'd suggest going to see your GP if you're worried and talking about seeing a shrink. I'd also suggest not hurting others. You may not care for them, but being friendly is in your own self interest anyway. Plus you should know, intellectually at least, that it's wrong.