Our partner

Why do you withhold?

Narcissistic Personality Disorder message board, open discussion, and online support group.

Re: Why do you withhold?

Postby Nieve520 » Wed Jan 16, 2013 11:55 pm

i just remembered that there are more than one cause/type scenario: the type overvalued and spoilt by their parents w/o the secret shame, and the degraded/trauma/abuse type with the core of shame. I dunno if the former is supposed to be insecure on the inside...
Nieve520
Consumer 1
Consumer 1
 
Posts: 35
Joined: Tue Oct 09, 2012 2:39 am
Local time: Thu Mar 28, 2024 9:22 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)


ADVERTISEMENT

Re: Why do you withhold?

Postby svenska500 » Thu Jan 17, 2013 4:39 am

If nobody sees you physically and nobody knows whom you are emotionally and mentally, they can't hurt you. They can only hurt a false image you portray to them of someone that doesn't exist.

Nobody on this forum has any clue or idea whom I really am. If they met me in real life, my words to them would never match what is said here. How can someone on here possibly hurt someone that doesn't exist? When I am insulted on here, I laugh to myself; as they are not mocking me; they are in actuality mocking a version of themselves I have displayed to them and/or someone that doesn't exist and never has.. albeit they do not realize it.

To be human is to feel hurt, humiliation and shame. Even a psychopath feels this; albeit they will ensure that nobody sees it publicly. (Ever seen/read American Psycho?) How one feels, is different, depending on the spectrum. When psychopaths kill, do you think they do not feel? They end up doing what they do, 'because' they feel. That is what causes them to inflict so much hurt.. because of how they feel; albeit a different variation than the conventional feel and feelings that most of society accepts as normal.

In terms of closer to a psychopath; no. I have no issue if I was; albeit I do not fall in that spectrum from everything I know about my actions from the past, current and how I feel. Psychopaths usually have a streak of some type of violence in them and I abhor and try my absolute best to avoid any and all forms of violence and physical force by any means possible. Body language, emotions, energy and verbal imaging through people are where I live and exist.

Why do you say I have some psychopathic tendencies? Not offended.. simply curious.

Nieve520 wrote: I have noticed that one of the traits of an N is "Becoming easily hurt and rejected" yet, it does not come across in your writing that this is true for you.

Do you consider yourself further on the spectrum and closer to a psychopath? have you been hurt by others? are you shamed and humiliated by crisicism. Shame and deep insecurity are supposed to be an underlying causes of NPD. do you feel that this is true for you. Is your attitude about yourself accurately portrayed in your writing? You have stated you are a self-aware N, but I think you may have some psychopathic tendencies.


-- Wed Jan 16, 2013 8:46 pm --

I am the result of neither scenario. These are clinical speculations of what potentially causes the character traits of narcissism and nothing more. They may be factual for why some narcs become what they are, as well they may be factual for why some nons become what they are. Nothing more.

Nieve520 wrote:i just remembered that there are more than one cause/type scenario: the type overvalued and spoilt by their parents w/o the secret shame, and the degraded/trauma/abuse type with the core of shame. I dunno if the former is supposed to be insecure on the inside...
Be extremely subtle, even to the point of formlessness. Be extremely mysterious, even to the point of soundlessness. Thereby you can be the director of the opponent's fate. - Sun Tzu
svenska500
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 911
Joined: Mon Mar 05, 2012 4:32 am
Local time: Thu Mar 28, 2024 6:22 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Why do you withhold?

Postby Nieve520 » Thu Jan 17, 2013 6:49 am

"Why do you say I have some psychopathic tendencies? Not offended.. simply curious."

the simple callousness w/ which you describe nons, how you use and discard them. how you consider us a different species. The N i have been most recently involved with was more manipulative and possessive of people. Ns may use their supply as an object but they still consider them "their" objects. They get jealous. You say that you do not, nor could you ever, care in any way. Even Ns invest energy in their supply people. Ns I have been involved with often want their supply people to become attached to them to ensure that they will be available for future use. Also there was an extreme sensitivity of how they thought they were being perceived by others. I don't know if this is true for you in real life.
Maybe I am misunderstanding. I realize not all Ns are exactly the same and their must be some variation among individuals.

also you said that Ns get married only for appearances, but I feel that this is not entirely true. Something makes them pick the person they choose, who will raise their spawn and pass on their genetic material. also like I said, Ns I have known are more possessive and jealous than explained by "simply for appearances". I have read that losing a source of supply can upset an N greatly whether non or not, because to lose a source of supply is to be faced with one's own inner feeling of worthlessness/insecurity etc etc and you don't seem to mention ever being bothered by this.

do you have any insight into the root cause of your NPD?
Nieve520
Consumer 1
Consumer 1
 
Posts: 35
Joined: Tue Oct 09, 2012 2:39 am
Local time: Thu Mar 28, 2024 9:22 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Why do you withhold?

Postby svenska500 » Thu Jan 17, 2013 7:27 am

I speak on this forum on what I think internally. If you think I actually act upon these feelings in real life, you have got be nuts. 'Conventional society' would not tolerate this activity and I would be shunned by every single person in my city.

I speak with 'callousness' to show nons how the narc thinks. I am very aware of how it sounds; albeit the best advice in life is not sugar coated. This is a look into the mind of how a narc processes life.

Just because I say something and feel a certain way, does not mean that this is a standard daily occurrence for me. This is what my mind thinks. I can become disgusted rather quickly with a non. This does not mean I ignore their messages and never communicate with them again. I act like everything is fine, all while slowly drifting away from them. In my mind, I have moved on completely, albeit I am not 'callous' as to completely and totally desert them.

I am self-aware of my actions. Just because I feel a certain way, does not mean I act upon them. I am sure non relationships that don't work out are exited in a similar fashion as I do. I follow what I see of nons on what is acceptable on how to slowly remove someone from your life with as little collateral damage to them as possible. In real life, it is imperative that people see me as like them; as a non.

I have spent my life watching, listening and learning how I need to act in society in order to fit in; as it does not come natural to the narc. We simply act on what we see others do. That is our persona. There is nothing authentic or real about it. It's all an act, because it's all we know.

Just because you cease having feelings for someone, do you immediately discard them from your life completely without any care or respect for how they might handle it? I would hope not. The same with me. When I say discard, I am simply referencing that my mind has moved on past that person and will slowly drift away. If that was not clear, my apologies.

In terms of wanting a non all to my self.. no thanks. The last thing I want is a non thinking about me all day and basing their life on me. A narc I am interested in.. perhaps. A non, definitely no. I simply want a non available when I want them and for them to act on my terms. Which means no dramatic questions, feelings, bonding, emotional drama, etc.. superficiality only.

In terms of marriage.. I cannot imagine a narc marrying a non and being completely happy with their non spouse after a year or so.. most likely it was a result of impulse.. or the non showed signs of leaving them without them wanting to marry.. and the narc had no other potentials available at the time and did not want to be alone. I cannot see a narc actually wanting to marry a non without the non initiating the proposal..

Do you want the truth of the narc mind or do you want an edited and censored version? I provide the truth. Go to the disney.com forums if you want an edited and censored version of life.

"The truth is rarely pure and never simple." — Oscar Wilde

Nieve520 wrote:"Why do you say I have some psychopathic tendencies? Not offended.. simply curious."

the simple callousness w/ which you describe nons, how you use and discard them. how you consider us a different species. The N i have been most recently involved with was more manipulative and possessive of people. Ns may use their supply as an object but they still consider them "their" objects. They get jealous. You say that you do not, nor could you ever, care in any way. Even Ns invest energy in their supply people. Ns I have been involved with often want their supply people to become attached to them to ensure that they will be available for future use. Also there was an extreme sensitivity of how they thought they were being perceived by others. I don't know if this is true for you in real life.
Maybe I am misunderstanding. I realize not all Ns are exactly the same and their must be some variation among individuals.

also you said that Ns get married only for appearances, but I feel that this is not entirely true. Something makes them pick the person they choose, who will raise their spawn and pass on their genetic material. also like I said, Ns I have known are more possessive and jealous than explained by "simply for appearances". I have read that losing a source of supply can upset an N greatly whether non or not, because to lose a source of supply is to be faced with one's own inner feeling of worthlessness/insecurity etc etc and you don't seem to mention ever being bothered by this.

do you have any insight into the root cause of your NPD?
Be extremely subtle, even to the point of formlessness. Be extremely mysterious, even to the point of soundlessness. Thereby you can be the director of the opponent's fate. - Sun Tzu
svenska500
Consumer 6
Consumer 6
 
Posts: 911
Joined: Mon Mar 05, 2012 4:32 am
Local time: Thu Mar 28, 2024 6:22 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Re: Why do you withhold?

Postby Nieve520 » Thu Jan 17, 2013 9:58 am

okay. thanks for your input. I'm not trying to offend you, just giving my two cents. I do not need the disney.com version lol, don't know what lead you to that conclusion. I appreciate the insight and honesty to how you think, that's why i'm here.
Nieve520
Consumer 1
Consumer 1
 
Posts: 35
Joined: Tue Oct 09, 2012 2:39 am
Local time: Thu Mar 28, 2024 9:22 pm
Blog: View Blog (0)

Previous

Return to Narcissistic Personality Disorder Forum




  • Related articles
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 20 guests