expressivecreative wrote:I'm just curious because I don't really feel like me life was impaired dramatically until after I became involved with a narcissist. I functioned rather normally - with the usual highs and lows I think normal people experience. Yet, 6 months out of a narcissistic relationship I was diagnosed with HPD. I have some of the symptoms, but I also have symptoms of borderline and also bipolar, so I'm not sure what the heck is wrong with me. I've been told that victims of narc abuse often suffer PTSD and the symptoms can mimic personality disorders - someone on another thread mentioned "defensive mirroring." I'm not trying to blame shift or deny I have issues, I'm just hoping that I can discuss with my therapist the possibility of dealing with the trauma of the abuse and suicide attempt before "diagnosing" me with a PD. In short, I was never "crazy" or overwhelmed by my emotions until I met my ex narc. I know it sounds like blame-shifting, it's just that I've had some issues come up lately with my ex and I'm still trying to figure out what the heck happened. I was certainly never suicidal before this relationship, and have never in my life been that depressed.
Ahhh right I understand you now.
Perhaps your therapist may have been a bit previous but my guess is he gave you that answer because you asked it of him.
I still don't hold with the whole idea of PTSD mimicing anything, and on that basis I would take a risk by guessing that your bipolar/borderline/HPD symptoms are more than likely to have always been there because they would have played a large part in you mistaking some sort of subconcsious negative identification for attraction to your ex. It's just that before your ex there wasn't really anything in your life to trigger you in such an extreme way as a destructive intimate relationship would.
Then along he comes and REALLY triggers you and although possibly dormant, wooosh, up your symptoms come traumatising you and re-triggering all the unconcsious historical emotional wounds that may have even occured before you were aware, perhaps at a very early age.
The most important thing (at least for now) is to recover. Once you've done that maybe you'd want to go back a bit further and have a look, or maybe you'll just want to accept a diagnosis and adjust your life accordingly - it can be done. It's your recovery, you do what you want with it.
Also please try to stop thinking of things in terms of blame when talking about yourself.