I do not know as much as most people here about N's but from personal experience I agree with anais
Anais wrote:Yes to all of the above.
My father is generally whatever he wants to be to suit is mood. It is nothing to do with me but to do with what benfits him at that point in time. If he wants to appear as the 'concerned parent' to neighbours he will mention in a conversation his concerns, then behind closed doors actively make problems worse. If he wants to be loved and have something nice said to him he will 'fish' for compliments. If he wants to enjoy something he will engeneer a situation, if that works to my detriment so be it, if that works to my advantage and I end up having fun then it's a nice co-incidence.
Whatever happens it has to be him that is the centre of attention, the best, the most loved etc. and if not there is hell to pay. Mam said it all when she pointed out to me my father had been the only one walking round Disneyland's Magic Kingdom with a frown - people were happy, and it wasn't anything to do with him, he wasn't center of attention and mam and I were too distracted to be constantly 'stroking his ego' (as we call it).
I find myself feeling sorry for him. Is it that N's can't relax and are constantly on the look out for their next 'supply' to feed their condition? If it is it must be a terrible situation to be trapped in.