I'd love to try hallucinogenics. Some day?
Well, your attempt with DXM failed, obviously. For me, LSD was an awesome experience. As you may know, LSD is able to do REALLY weird stuff to your psyche - it's not so much about the hallucinations, but about all the thoughts it gives you about yourself and the world. It's been successfully used in psychotherapy, for example. Now as a narcissist I've always felt like there's a barrier between me and the rest of the world - a barrier that makes it impossible to have empathy or to feel as part of a collective, you probably know what I'm talking about. Now when I was on LSD it felt kind of like this barrier was breaking down, like I finally became one with the outside world. But then I got really afraid and it stopped. Meh. I definitely want to do that again.
I've got OCD too, so it could be that my brain is all wonky. So maybe the drug did something, just...not something I noticed. SSRIs made me goddamn crazy, paranoid, weirdly suicidal.
Yeah, SSRIs tend to do that. But dopamine RIs, like methylphenidate - and also cocaine - never really do that kind of stuff to people, only on the comedown.
They put some normal healthy people on SSRIs and made them play an ultimatum game, where you could choose to lose in order to help a friend, or say screw 'em and win. The people with higher serotonin were more likely to be nice.
Yeah, it's really weird that the neurotransmitter that's responsible for empathy is like our personal drug. Still, we don't have any empathy at all. But as I said, I REALLY want to try empathogenic drugs again and see what happens. If it works, I might just become an ecstasy addict. Or I'd actually be able to compare "normalness" and narcissism and make a choice. Wouldn't that be awesome.
Other stuff says...."evidence indicate that genetically determined variability in serotonergic gene expression influences complex traits including that of inappropriately aggressive behavior"....
Makes a lot of sense.