Well, I've also heard of matching your voice speed to the person's voice speed and copying their body language, etc. I guess it would be best to match the person's voice/body language first, and then form a connection, and gradually start speaking slower and showing more relaxation so that they feel the same and end up feeling good around you.
I have noticed that people who speak inappropriately loudly in one-on-one or small group situations, do so because there is this unrecognized "anxious need" to be heard and understood. Its as if they don't speak loudly, they will not be heard. So the loudness is an effort for "special emphasis". If such people could lower their anxiety and believe that they will be heard, as long as the content of what they are saying is relevant, they could relax and speak comparatively softly. I think such people should start concentrating on "content" rather than "presentation".
Similarly, people who speak fast, seem to do so because there is this unrecognized anxiety that their brain is running faster than their mouth and that they might just lose out on something that they want to say. If such people can take a step back, summarize what they want to say in their mind, they could probably speak slowly, briefly and with less verbosity.
For both the above cases, people speaking loud and fast, might be able to temporarily escape anxiety and feel better by speaking loudly and fast, but to listeners it creates the impression of an aggressive, insecure person. To listeners, this person appears to be somewhat out of control and in the long-term rash and boring. Therefore people avoid such people.
Just by mimicking people, one can't get too far. People pick up on the insincerity. Also to keep doing this and not always get the intended result will make one feel resentment, which will explode intermittently.
A slow, paced out, brief and clear communication style provides listeners the impression of a secure, firm and assertive person, whose views are more likely to be respected. So rather than concentrating on controlling the loudness, pace and presentation, it is better to concentrate on content, clearly summarizing and then speaking without the anxious need for any "special" effect.
Whenever someone succeeds, I am not happy. However, it would benefit me to show that I am happy so that people will like me more.
No, the end result will still be the same. People pick up on insincerity. Question why someone else's success bothers you? And work on removing that trigger.
Yep. I carry myself well.
Or, so you think. Maybe its true in the short-term. But in the long-term, do others think that way? Again a question to ponder and evaluate.
People seem to avoid eye contact with me, except the other people that have intimidating eyes.
There is a difference between "stimulating" eye contact, and "coercive" eye contact. Some people make eye contact as if to say "I am interested in listening to you" and that is stimulating. Some others make eye contact as if to say "listen to me" and that is "coercive". Obviously when its the "coercive" eye contact, people are repulsed, since no one wants to be coerced into listening in a conversation.
So, rather than concentrating on one's eyes, such people should concentrate on "listening". Once you can become open to listening rather than being heard, your eyes will automatically convey a more "I am interested in listening to you" stance. People will then be attracted rather than repulsed in a conversation with you.