What's the worst thing a narcissist ever said to you?

My NM isn't really into the obvious, overt insults. She cleverly veils hers in snide comments or tears into my self esteem. She's never told me "I hate you", which is a surprise, but she doesn't see any worth in anything I've done, will do or am.

For instance, I have celiac disease. In addition to telling me that I must of gotten that from "those people" referring to my bio father's side of the family, she will dismiss it as something totally made up. "Oh, that's right.......I forgot about your disease."
She also tosses the word hypochondriac around like it was yesterday's dirty rag. I admit, I'm not a healthy person. 30 years of stress and anxiety have their way of totally taking over your body and destroying it. But, everything I have, or have had, she dismisses. I had CANCER in 2009. She was here for my surgery, in the room with me when they told me exactly what I had, and to this day denies I ever had it. It's those things that hurt more than the words, I think.

She likes to tear into self image also. "You don't have a pretty body like me, you're built more like a man."

My recent ex has said so many horrible things I could never recall them all to list here. We broke up recently though which day is unclear because as is typical he just stopped responding one day. I ended up in the hospital & didn't message or call all day & when I was released & charged my phone...no calls, no messages. I realized that if I didn't call him...he wouldn't. I was relieved for the first 24 hours but as typical the anxiety and missing him set in & I contacted him...he didn't respond to any message for 3 days even when I told him about my car wreck & hospitalization. Finally I recalled that he was spinning on the common topic the night before the silence of how If I loved him I would dye my hair blond for him. It would be inconceivable that his anger about my hair color would make him leave...but I thought I was warm. I went by to bring him coffee & doughy on the morning we had plans to go biking that he didn't cancel. He didn't answer the phone or the door even though I could see he was home. I sent him a message that he finally responded to I said "the last time you stopped talking to me & I left you...you said you had no intention of breaking up...am I supposed to guess?". He replied

"Ya, thanks. We broke up. Sorry. STOP DROPPING BY AND JUST SHOWING UP! I have to work and need sleep.

I messaged back: "Will you at least give me the courtesy of knowing why?"

I don't know. Incompatible parts were winning over. "

I was pissed and feeling vengeful...so I photoshopped a photo of me blond & sent it to him with the simple message "your loss". He immediately began messaging me...why? Why did you do it now?" so some other guy gets to have it & not me...all the way to "did you do it for me out of love?" to " "Baby you know I was worried about you...maybe there is still a chance for us?". All of that based on just a photo. My reply...

So...other than the color of my hair...what changed?

I'm just astounded that I am such a non person to him that he could flip a switch from ignoring me getting hit by a car...but attend to me because of a perceived change of color. That memory, I hope, will not stuff down & will keep me from going back to the biggest mistake of my life.

That is saying alot since I have been with a wife beater & a child molester previously. Narcissists destroy the people in their wake. For the first time in my long & jaded life I actually fear getting back out there, dating & people in general.

I can't think of the awful things i've been said to by narcissist, but I'm sure there are many. Both my parts are and I've dated a couple. My last ex was the worse and would always make everything my fault, would always twist my words and never take responsibility.

He said that what we have is not reality.

Granted, it is an online situation, but it really hurt nonetheless.

Hmm.. There's quite a few gems - But let's see

One time, he told me "good luck with only being able to think of me while you're making love to him" (meaning a new guy he was falsely accusing me of being with)

The rings he has for me.. he'll waiver and say they are for me and then go back and say he scrapped them or maybe he's not keeping them for me.

One time, during "love making" (haha but he does call it that), he had me in a "position" where embarrassing noises can sometimes occur and er.. it did. We laughed at the time, but an hour later, I had a meeting with mutual business associates of ours. I went to the meeting, he did not. I was taking notes for him as well. He called me in the middle of the meeting ... we all had our phones on the table so my associates could see it was him calling me). I picked up my phone and when I answered, he made THAT sound in my ear. Omg.. how embarrassing. I turned beat red. Ugh!

Reading this topic makes me feel like a saint.

1. Why do you BPDs always chose the worse narcissist in the world to be your bf.

2. How in the world do you find these persons ? I am bad, I am evil, I do not feel bad about it at all but man, I am a saint compared to these guys. I even envy them a little for geting from you all a narcissist can want from a girl. Please tell me where do you find these identical replicas of the main characters from the 120days of Sodome ? Boy, these guys really know what they're doing. If there would be a database with all personality details about every person in the world it would be hard to find people like you girls did. Really, how do you do it ?

Exactly my thoughts dxm.

I was myself in a relationship with an N but it ended rather quickly in 4 months. It would have ended even earlier in about 2/12 months whenI tried to break up but she made me feel bad for leaving her so I stayed a little longer.

But people who stay in an unhealthy relation for years is something beyond my understanding.

And them keep on blaming their ex N is even worse. Because if you could jot figure out let's say in a few months or even in a year then there is something seriously wrong with you yourself to begin with.

Although, I would take this opportunity to tell few bad things my ex said to me.

Ok so she was 24 but her voice was like a 32-37 year old and she told me herself that everyone says that to her.
So, what she did to me - told me my voice was like a 82 year old woman Fact was many girls had told me that my voice was really sweet.

She said many things like that and every time I questioned her if I was so bad then why she stayed with me and her answer was "I dont mind".

The reality was she had no other supply at the time, she had lost her job because of workplace issue (colleagues caught up with her lies). And the other reality was she wanted to make me feel that she was doing me a favour by being with me and to tell me i could not have a better girl than her.

She could not have done this without knowing all this i.e. Without being aware because she was already diagnosed with NPD and she had been in therapy for about 6-8 months (although I didn't know about the diagnosis when we were in the relationship)

So, even though she was aware of her problems and was trying to manipulate me instead of improving herself, she CHOSE to continue her behaviour of hurting others when she could have
at least
chosen to not hurt others.

dxm_dxm wrote:Reading this topic makes me feel like a saint.

1. Why do you BPDs always chose the worse narcissist in the world to be your bf.

2. How in the world do you find these persons ?

Haha DXM. But seriously.. I have the same luck with cars. I could be in a car-lot full of beautiful, perfectly running machines, and unwittingly, the ONE lemon on the lot is the one I fall in love with and want to buy.

Lol a good advice for you girls would be: Get a justiciar/religious narcissist like me or something. It is a lot more easy to control a narcissist like this.

A better advice: it is not that hard to see how much antisocial traits he has in him. Take a normal narcissist, one with few antisocial traits. All have them to some degree but you don't have to pick the ones that look exactly like the 120 days of sodome main characters

And third but not least. If you get such a guy at least try to take pleasure from this kinda bdsm-istic relationship. Most BPD are submissive, why not take pleasure from it ? The one been the dominator is doing all the work, it is a very hard role to play. If you have such a guy in the house try been more open and masochistic about it.

PS: I am very envious of the guys that slapped you girls from time to time, it;s very sexy I have always wanted to beat my girfriend up for trivial reasons but she says she does not like it and is very very furious when trying to do this. I only once beat her up but man was I thuff lol. Before I managed to be with her I believed giving her a real and big beating would turn her on knowing she is submissive. I am a big bdsm fan but it was very very hard even for me to give her such a beating, I premeditated this 1 day in advanced and swared to beat her up very very bad even though I might not like it that much It was for her own good. I beat her for 1 hour very bad She was soooo cute scared and crying :D:D:D:D::D Also I now have the option of making fun of her because of that incident Could not keep myself from bragging, but this is ontopic nevertheless

I feel the need to quote every post and write "hahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahhahahahahhahaha"
This is so amusing I can not read this anymore lol

-- Thu May 01, 2014 3:02 am --

I'm gona phone the secret sadist boys association and order one of these utopic narcissist dreams witch you call bpd girls for myself soon