mindful wrote:This can be true also for a woman with an NPD male partner.
While his style is probably not to lie there and wait to be stimulated (inso many words), it is definitely all about him.
Even if he gives great importance to bringing his partner to climax, this is for his own sense of accomplishment and grandeur, and his partner can feel it.
The personal connection, warmth, tenderness, is simply not there. And his partner feels it, even if she has a hard time putting her finger on it.
So true, mindful! I always felt my exN and I never "made love"... it was having sex And, I used to think it meant he cared about me that he would take a lot of time pleasing me... but I can see that it was more about him and his performance and the more pleased I was in bed and the more times I came, the better it made him feel and it made him seem like a wonderful lover. And, you're right that there was no real warmth or tenderness... I was so attracted to him that at first I probably didn't really notice it, but after awhile I did feel that something was missing... my attraction to him was still there but I didn't feel that real closeness or sense of connection. We've been broken up for 6 months and isn't it wild that if he knocked on my door today I'd still want to sleep with him, even though I now know he's a N and that I'd wind up hurt again. It's almost like an addiction. I've never been that attracted to somebody.