HisSupply wrote:It doesn't help our healing to be told we are to "blame" for allowing ourselves to be objectified.
Actually, it does.
But I wouldn't call it "blame", I would call it "taking responsibility". There is a reason you allowed yourself to be objectified, and that reason is within you
and has nothing to do with your ex. Not the reason you were
objectified, but the reason you allowed
it. This doesn't mean you are a bad person, or somehow imperfect, or to blame for how things turned out. It's not right that he objectified you, but the only person you will ever have control over is you
. This you
is the only thing you can do anything about. There is nothing you can do for your ex, but at least you can take this experience as an opportunity to learn more about yourself
. This is a good thing.
I understand how at this stage in your life, these words might sound like victim blaming, but they are not. This is the next step after
realizing that you feel like a victim. You are not there yet, but I hope you will be open-minded enough to realize that this is a long road, and that you are just at the beginning.
Being a victim doesn't help you grow, but learning how to refuse
to be a victim does.